Dream house, but then there's the neighbour

MidLifeCrisis_3

Would this put you off buying?

Our dream house is up for sale, we need to sell ours first, but we found out the neighbour is head of my kids school. She has a reputation as a bully at school and I've been on the receiving end of it. A few years ago after doing loads for the school, PTA, classroom volunteer, etc, she took me to task over some playground gossip she'd heard from one person. It wasn't true, but she treated me like a naughty schoolgirl and I got very upset in front of her. OH phoned her and had a right go afterwards as I suffer from depression, but she wouldn't apologise and ever since I've stayed out of her way and have done nothing more for the school.

We love the house it's perfect for us, her house is on the right so we think our fence boundary would be that side and we would also want to extend it to that side at some point. By all accounts her husband is a lovely man. We keep ourselves to ourselves, have always had good relations with previous neighbours and never had any disputes. If a fence broke/needed replacing we would fix it and even when it wasn't our side we've gone halves, etc.

I think this is a totally separate relationship to school, although my kids will be there for another 4 years, but OH has his reservations about it.

What would you do?

specialboy

I would look elsewhere if I were you. If you buy this house you will have to either 'man up' and ignore her or be scared every time you saw her and if you are prone to bouts of depression you probably wont be able to handle the stress. Plenty of houses out there.

nzseries1

Yes agreed. When I bought a house I was always worried about what the neighbours would be like, because neighbour problems were always my biggest worry when renting and when you've bought you can't escape it. In this case you know it's going to be bad, so why put yourself through it.

[Deleted User]

Look elsewhere it'll be a issue from day 1...

Fraise

I wouldn't let her bad attitude prevent you buying your dream home. She does sound very unpleasant, but you being her neighbour will put you on an equal footing with her. It's tricky to fall out with the headmistress at school, but when you're on an equal playing field she can't dictate to you. Who knows? She might be OK without her headmistress hat on. In fact, as she has a responsible job and reputation is important, it's unlikely she'll be a troublesome neighbour.

OK, you may not become the best of friends (though you never know!), but even if she is still bombastic outside of school you don't hVe to socialise with her just cos she lives next door.

I don't think most people ever have the perfect neighbours, and you could do a lot worse than a dogmatic headmistress living next door. As long as she isn't noisy and doesn't interfere I don't really see the problem.

MidLifeCrisis_3

Fraise wrote: »

I wouldn't let her bad attitude prevent you buying your dream home. She does sound very unpleasant, but you being her neighbour will put you on an equal footing with her. It's tricky to fall out with the headmistress at school, but when you're on an equal playing field she can't dictate to you. Who knows? She might be OK without her headmistress hat on. In fact, as she has a responsible job and reputation is important, it's unlikely she'll be a troublesome neighbour.

OK, you may not become the best of friends (though you never know!), but even if she is still bombastic outside of school you don't hVe to socialise with her just cos she lives next door.

I don't think most people ever have the perfect neighbours, and you could do a lot worse than a dogmatic headmistress living next door. As long as she isn't noisy and doesn't interfere I don't really see the problem.

Thanks, this is how I feel and that hopefully the 2 relationships can be separated. If we are successful in buying I think we need to work out the best way to show we're willing to form a neighbourly relationship. I mostly feel embarrassed that I was seen as a weak target and instead of standing up for myself properly I became really upset. I think she realised she hadn't handled things well once it was too late and the damage was already done. OH would stand up to her anyway and lots of people say her husband is great so I would hope she must be different out of work.

Old_Git

If she gives you any !!!! just say Oi I have seen you tatty knickers on the line .

MidLifeCrisis_3

Old_Git wrote: »

If she gives you any !!!! just say Oi I have seen you tatty knickers on the line .

:rotfl:

LOL or maybe her tumble drier bill will go up and she won't be able to afford to stay.

[Deleted User]

You asked for advice, here's mine I feel you would be making a big mistake, you already have issues with this woman before you potentially move next door. Even though people say her husband is nice he will always stick up for her in any disagreement, you could have problems with potential planning from her if you wanted to do any work.
Let's face it there are lots of different ways nasty neighbours can make your life hard, is it worth the risk to yours and your family's happiness?

because

Do your children want to live next door to the head teacher ? not sure I would have done. You could always knock on her door to say hello before you make your final decision and say you are thinking of buying the house next to hers and see what her reaction is to you.She may be very different away from work.

princeofpounds

I agree with all the caution. You clearly have issues dealing with her and/or confrontation in general.

Move next door and there will be NO ESCAPE should anything go wrong (or at least not an easy escape, I am being dramatic for effect).

Especially if you are planning to extend, which is often a flashpoint.

Very few houses can be that unique either.