Trials of living in a block of flats

AliceBanned

I live alone in a one bed flat and have new neighbours upstairs. I am pretty sure they are not the owners - I think the leaseholder upstairs rents it out. I have been putting up with this problem for about six weeks - they thud on the floor when they walk, and they get up early evey day, including Sunday and wake me up around 6.30am. Last night they thudded coming in at 1.30am and still got up that early. I've had about four hours' sleep in the early hours, due to the, and I slept on the sofa as I was so angry that they came in and were loud and I was already in a stressed state over stupid IT problems at work that mean I keep redoing bits of work, and I am getting no support over that.

I have a condition which affects my sleep anyway, and it is the last thing I need. I can't bring myself to speak to them. I have tried via the housiing assoc (mine is shared ownership) to contact the leaseholder in the past but they would not give me details.

I only bought in October but between one thing and another though it is a lovely flat I just feel unhappy and unsettled here. It is an easy commute to London, and that is why i moved partly, and it is a nice area, but I am unhappy and stressed. i find work is stressing me a lot and I feel like I'm on the edge, as this thudding is like the final straw. They also put their washing machine on late, so it is spinning around 11pm. I just think it's me though, maybe I just can't cope with upstairs neighbours of any kind, and need to go and live in a caravan somewhere.

Financially it is very difficult too, and I'd feel better if I could have a two bed flat and get a lodger, to free up the finances for a few years, but I have idea where I could afford this in commuting distance to London, apart from Bedford or Luton perhaps, and I think they are too urban for me to cope.

Basically last night I was thinking if I can't change things there is not much point carrying on, as I've tried and tried.

I am having counselling via my GP for a few weeks, and she thinks I need to continue but obviously I won't have the money to do it privately.

Even writing this makes me cry, I just feel in a total mess and so unhappy and nowhere to turn. It isn't just about the neighbours but it is just too much and I don't see why I shoudl cope with them thudding a lot on the floor when they can learn to walk properly and be more considerate as neighbours. Also it being a couple in a one bed flat means I have double the noise. I feel like I'm having a breakdown as I have very limited tolerance for anything anymore.:(

confusedhelp

Hi

If have people upstairs who have laminate flooring and the man is particularly heavy footed. Though it does not bother me, if I were you, i would just talk to them because they may not realise just how much of their noise you can hear from underneath. If they are decent people they would be more considerate in the future.

Failing that, you can pay £3ish through the land registry to find out the name and address of the leaseholder. Look for public then property ownership on the land registry website (I could not post the link on this thread)

Hope this helps

Upsidedown_Bear

confusedhelp wrote: »

Failing that, you can pay £3ish through the land registry to find out the name and address of the leaseholder. Look for public then property ownership on the land registry website (I could not post the link on this thread)

Hope this helps

Link here
http://www.landregistry.gov.uk/public/property-ownership

AliceBanned

confusedhelp wrote: »

Hi

If have people upstairs who have laminate flooring and the man is particularly heavy footed. Though it does not bother me, if I were you, i would just talk to them because they may not realise just how much of their noise you can hear from underneath. If they are decent people they would be more considerate in the future.

Failing that, you can pay £3ish through the land registry to find out the name and address of the leaseholder. Look for public then property ownership on the land registry website (I could not post the link on this thread)

Hope this helps

Thanks. I'm depressed, vulnerable and angry at the moment. I don't deal with face to face stuff like that very well. I'm very bad at asserting myself. It's just a downward spiral. Also fact that there are two of them doesn't help. It's hard living on your own for years and end tackling these kind of things day in day out.

Thanks for the link. I just wish i didn't have to mention these things. As they are the top floor they would have no idea what it's like. One of my doubts when i bought was the top floor would be better as I hate this kind of thing. It's overwhelming as you can't just live your life and rest etc as normal, it is like an intrusion. If i were happy in my life it would be easier but i just feel like doing something drastic, giving up my job, selling my flat etc and then i think how hard would that be to cope with. There is no support for me and I'm just not sleeping.

SG27

Have you tried earplugs? We live right on a road and some cars can be very noisy although it's a fairly quiet lane every now and then overnight a motorbike or boy racer car goes past! With the earplugs in I can't hear anything and they a comfortable enough to sleep in, for me anyway. Hope you can get it resolved.

AliceBanned

Yes I have and usually get on ok with them. I haven't needed them for a while. Just past few days have had insomnia and it may be partly knowing that I will be woken (and more importantly irritated by them) early.

I chose to live away from road noise etc as i think I am a light sleeper and I love the peace and quiet, so don't see why i should have to wear ear plugs every night, but some friends wear them as they say in flats you hear neighbours and there's no avoiding it.

I guess I'm frustrated - living in the south east it is hard to get any real quality of life and I'm sick of it. :cool:

But i suspect that the problem is not only on the outside and maybe at the mo I'd not be happy anywhere and I'm just very unsettled.

I had two weeks off work recently and although it wasn't perfect I had forgotten what stress and irritation was like, and how much of it builds up from the office.

I just get into spirals where I feel helpless to change things.

I will start using earplugs tonight as at least if I sleep it will help me to think clearly and stop resenting everything as much. I am going for a drink with a friend tonight and am too tired to go but I think it may be better to get out for a while instead of sitting here listening to the washing machine upstairs (on again now - that's four washloads in 12 hrs for two people)

pmlindyloo

AliceBanned wrote: »

Yes I have and usually get on ok with them. I haven't needed them for a while. Just past few days have had insomnia and it may be partly knowing that I will be woken (and more importantly irritated by them) early.

I chose to live away from road noise etc as i think I am a light sleeper and I love the peace and quiet, so don't see why i should have to wear ear plugs every night, but some friends wear them as they say in flats you hear neighbours and there's no avoiding it.

I guess I'm frustrated - living in the south east it is hard to get any real quality of life and I'm sick of it. :cool:

But i suspect that the problem is not only on the outside and maybe at the mo I'd not be happy anywhere and I'm just very unsettled.

I had two weeks off work recently and although it wasn't perfect I had forgotten what stress and irritation was like, and how much of it builds up from the office.

I just get into spirals where I feel helpless to change things.

I will start using earplugs tonight as at least if I sleep it will help me to think clearly and stop resenting everything as much. I am going for a drink with a friend tonight and am too tired to go but I think it may be better to get out for a while instead of sitting here listening to the washing machine upstairs (on again now - that's four washloads in 12 hrs for two people)

I think you're right- the noise from the flat above is getting out of proportion because of how you are feeling about everything. Sleep deprivation is horrendous. Any chance of staying with a friend/staying in a B&B for a few nights to get back to feeling more normal?

If you are not sleep deprived then you may feel up to having a friendly word with your neighbours. They are probably totally unaware of the effect of the noise. If you can keep it along the lines of 'I'm sure you are unaware of how sound travels and would be very grateful if..............

Having said that flats are notorious for this problem and if you are sensitive to noise and it causes you irritation when you are feeling well then you may have no choice but to move.

jackomdj

4 wash loads is not necessarily excessive though, it could be that they do their towels and bedding at the weekend when they are off. Also if they use the gym or excercise they may generate a lot of washing (oh cycles to work and back plus he goes to the gym at lunch so he has a lot of dirty clothes!)

I think you need to try to talk to them. I would start with just telling them that the flats soundproofing isn't very good and would they mind trying to use their washing machine a bit earlier as it sounds quite loud in your flat.

They are probably reasonable people (most people are, we just hear the worst on here, as nobody really posts about all the nice, reasonable neighbours) and it would be a lot better coming directly from you rather than from a third party. I own a house but if I was your neighbour I would be quite put out if you went to a landlord rather than directly to me in the first instance.

I do think it sounds as if you need some continued support, if this is due to end go back to your doctor and let them know that you can't afford to pay privately.

Good luck.

AliceBanned

I'm not feeling balanced at all. Am just going to play loud music to drown out their stupid machine. I've been so considerate and it just isn't appreciated so I'll show them what a bad neighbour is like.

totallybored

I don't want to be harsh but they're hardly the neighbours from hell from what you've described. They walk around a bit loudly and you can hear their washing machine. What were you expecting from living under other people?

There are frequently threads on here about nightmare neighbours but yours don't seem that bad.

kinger101

AliceBanned wrote: »

I'm not feeling balanced at all. Am just going to play loud music to drown out their stupid machine. I've been so considerate and it just isn't appreciated so I'll show them what a bad neighbour is like.

I can understand your frustration, but I don't think this is a good strategy, as if you become noisy, they'll view you as a bad neighbour. This will make any dealings with them in the future difficult.

I think the best thing you can do is approach them about it at a time when you are feeling a bit less stressed. They may not be aware of the noise travelling, and may be willing to do things like;

(a) not wear shoes in the house;
(b) put down rugs if it is a laminate flooring;
(c) not use the washing machine outside certain hours.

It's hard to deal with things like this when you're stressed or depressed, so just pick a day when things are good, and you might be surprised by their response.