talk me down please

tesuhoha

mellymoo74 wrote: »

It's very little to do with weight

I for one know my size and I know I'm now in the danger zone. The problem comes twofold

It's a form of self harm so the pain, light headedness etc feels good and clean it also releases the pent up mental stuff.

It's also control so in amongst the chaos this is mine, I can control it.

The TIAS etc are migraine related it is out of control partially because of blood sugar but also because of stress and sleep disturbance.

It sounds like you feel trapped in your situation. As for control you have very little or you would be able to stop the behaviour at will.

The trouble with eating disorders is that people mix up emotions with food. They use food as a tool to inflict their self hate rather than using an actual weapon. Yet food has nothing to do with emotion. Its fuel to keep you alive that's all. That is how you should think of it.

I think that you know that this form of self hate is not the way to good health, either mental or physical. The pleasure you get from it is extremely negative (and temporary) akin to eating a bag of white sugar for the pleasure and well being of it but you wouldn't do that would you?

Maybe you feel sad and that no one cares so why should you but there is a kind of self regard you can develop independent of what influence other people have on you. You may have had a bad childhood, other people may not behave as you wish, but there comes a time when you just have to come to terms with it all and know that none of it was/is your fault. Time to think - hey - I'm not so bad. Just try to find some acceptance and move on because you have the rest of your life to make the most of.

You are an extremely intelligent, kind caring person, you are also still a young woman. Life can be beautiful. You can find joy in small things - you already do. Start living and let the unhealthy habit go.

You nursed those kitties back to health, maybe its time to do the same for yourself.

mellymoo74

Got a cold :-(

OH stI'll has teeth issues I decided we could have fish and chips for tea from the chippy, an expense but I thought it would be nice and we would eat it and enjoy it.

Fish was rank
OH and I rowed cos he hasnt eaten properly for a few days so his stomach is sore
I ate 6 chips and they were soggy, eye filled and greasy

Tomorrow I am going to go to asda it's a mission but will mean I can get their chicken Kiev made with whole breast not chopped and shaped and he might be able to eat it.

Think it was the docs yesterday throats sore, nose is dripping

mellymoo74

Oh
Gourmet pearl cat food are doing a soup I thought it would be a silly idea
Got a free sample
Gave it ty
He yammed it, licked his bowl clean.

Today I picked some up
Tomcat (fussy sod) yammed it, licked bowl clean.

Pickle yammed it and licked bowl clean

Luckily got some vouchers so will pick some up tomorrow

wannabe_sybil

Whether it is good or bad, please keep posting.

I found this and thought of you...

http://www.boredpanda.com/cats-sleeping-anywhere-in-crazy-positions/

wannabe_sybil

btw - re the catfood.

Cats notoriously will stuff their faces with something expensive until you buy it in bulk because it is on sale and then will look at you with utter and complete disgust the next time you put it in front of them.

hugsx

Smodlet

Melly, please, please take care of yourself. You know the skin thing is probably down to malnutrition, don't you? In which case, no amount of creams will help. If you don't care for yourself, you care about your furries, don't you? Is OH capable of looking after them properly, were you to be hospitalised? Do it for them if that is the only way you can break this cycle, please. You are a lovely person; there are not enough of those in the world.

S x

mellymoo74

Madam
She stayed in with the dogs for an hour, had a nap and a cuddle has gone back out to play.

mellymoo74

Came back in
Demanded food
Ate
Left lol

tesuhoha

mellymoo74 wrote: »

Got a cold :-(

OH stI'll has teeth issues I decided we could have fish and chips for tea from the chippy, an expense but I thought it would be nice and we would eat it and enjoy it.

Fish was rank
OH and I rowed cos he hasnt eaten properly for a few days so his stomach is sore
I ate 6 chips and they were soggy, eye filled and greasy

Tomorrow I am going to go to asda it's a mission but will mean I can get their chicken Kiev made with whole breast not chopped and shaped and he might be able to eat it.

Think it was the docs yesterday throats sore, nose is dripping

Well done for trying the fish and chips. Maybe you could try some of the chicken Kiev.

mellymoo74

Playing pickle



Cuddling babies.

I have been referred to an ED unit just waiting for my appointment

OH went out in the car Sunday
Had a couple of melt downs but did it.

Figued you all deserved an update.