Did I overreact?

pinkshoes

They did two things wrong:

1. Not contacting you from the hospital to say your child had had an accident.

2. Not contacting you after 5pm to explain why they were late.

Both of these are unacceptable, particularly the latter.

They were due back at 5pm, so what on earth did they think you'd be thinking???
Rocking up at 9pm without even a text message was taking the p*ss!

jumpingjackd

I dont think you overreacted due to the shock and the obvious worry you must have had with the lateness and not being able to contact them, but I think you should reconsider.

Accidents do happen and could as easily have happened in your care, however they should have called you to say where they were, perhaps they were afraid too.

You could explain to them how worried you were imaginging all sorts of scenarios. They would have been consumed with all sorts of guilt no doubt and I doubt it will ever happen again.

Talk it over and dont create a rift in your relationship, good luck

pollypenny

pinkshoes wrote: »

They did two things wrong:

1. Not contacting you from the hospital to say your child had had an accident.

2. Not contacting you after 5pm to explain why they were late.

Both of these are unacceptable, particularly the latter.

They were due back at 5pm, so what on earth did they think you'd be thinking???
Rocking up at 9pm without even a text message was taking the p*ss!

They are OP's grandparents so it's very possible that they aren't texters.

I'm sure they were worried, too.

clairec79

So by not ringing you they thought they were saving you the worry - yet had you rung the local A&Es (which you may have been considering by 4 hours with them not answering their phones) you'd have heard your son was admitted.

As you said it is not the fact that he had an accident, it's the fact they didn't inform you, and potentially lied to the hospital about parental responsibility (I would also be contacting the hospital to find out why you weren't informed your toddler was admitted - btw you may also find yourself with visits from health visitor as they are automatically informed when a child under 5 is taken to A&E (you may get a phone call)

clairec79

Mondler wrote: »

They took it the wrong way, and of course think they can never see him again, my family are giving me a hard time saying to give them a break as it wasnt their fault and that I am overreacting.

I don't think you are overeacting - in time you may change your mind, but I don't think I'd feel confident at letting my three year old be alone with them - because if something happened I wouldn't trust them to let me know straight away

You aren't saying they can never see him again (yes that would be overeacting)

Whose fault is it then? Noone (including you) is saying the accident is their fault, had you had a phone call to say 'he's had an accident we're on the way to the hospital/he needs stitches we're at the hospital/we'll be late home' you wouldn't be upset about the accident

splishsplash

Mondler wrote: »

[snip]...
They took it the wrong way, and of course think they can never see him again, my family are giving me a hard time saying to give them a break as it wasnt their fault and that I am overreacting.

Just wanted to know if I am overreacting?

Which members of your family are you talking about and whose version of the story are they reacting to?

What do they think is not your grandparents' fault? Not contacting you is certainly down to them; leaving you to stew and worry for hours is down to them; not giving you the choice to be with your three year old son while he went through reception, triage, (?tests) and treatment by strangers while probably distressed (not to mention bleeding) is down to them.

Whether the fact that the hospital treated your child without your consent is the hospital's fault or the fault of your grandparents is unknown at present, unless your family has information you don't.

It's really not helpful having everyone sticking their oar in (yes I know we're all doing exactly that on this thread ), especially if they're reacting to the mistaken impression that you won't allow your grandparents to see your son again. That sounds like the great-grandparents aren't taking responsibility for not handling things well, otherwise family would realize that the only thing you're upset about is not being contacted, not the accident itself.

Take it nice and slow, OP, before doing anything. You're entitled to feel upset and annoyed, but it's always wise to let things settle before making any decisions. I would definitely have a chat with your grandparents though, if only to make sure they understand what they did wrong.

anotheruser

How old are the grandparents?
Are they tech-savvy?
Do they have mobile phones?
Some hospitals don't like people using phones.

Maybe they panicked and didn't want you to fly off the handle.... which is exactly what you did and perhaps why they didn't want to contact you straight away?
But then they did encourage that by not contacting you.

While I agree they should have contacted you (as you say, anything could have happened), they did what they thought was best and had your son's welfare as their first priority.

I would expect they will be very hurt and now even more scared of having your son again in case something else happens.

Poster number 2 has some really great words of advice. Re-read their post slowly

clairec79

globalds wrote: »

They looked after your son as if he was ...well , as if he was their grandson ..you couldn't really ask for more than that.

This is where you and I disagree - they didn't look after him as if he were their grandson - they looked after him like he was their SON

ab.da54

jjj1980 wrote: »

He's your child, will have wanted his mum.

How do you know this?

meritaten

I read your post and it set me thinking - about when I had my two year old grandson for a sleepover and he ran into the corner of a wall and cut his forehead open. we took him down the hospital and his wound was glued. - he had no symptoms of concussion and the hospital was happy to let him go after. and NO we didn't phone his parents. but, he wasn't expected home and we knew they wouldn't be worried. and his parents were fine about it.
Thinking of the circumstance of YOUR post - I would have let the parents know - I couldn't have just let them worry because we were late. I can understand your anger. but I do think you are a little harsh - perhaps you could tell them that any 'accidents' in future you need to know ASAP? and let them and your son enjoy 'days out'? but with the proviso that any deviation from the plan you have to know about it?