Did I overreact?

notanewuser

milliemonster wrote: »

What concerns me is that the hospital treated your son without your consent? As a nurse myself, I know that when a child is brought into hospital by anyone other than their legal guardian then consent must be obtained before treatment unless it is a life threatening situation which I am presuming this was not, so why when the hospital will have (or should have) asked where his parents were to be contacted, did your grandparents at that point not give them the information for you to be contacted, or contacted you themselves?

This. ^^^^

I have a 3 year old and would have gone ballistic about not being informed that she was in hospital with a head jnjury that required stitches!! I can't believe in 4 hours the hospital didn't insist on contacting you.

I wouldn't stop them seeing him though - they must be feeling awful about the accident - but I'd make it very clear that I'd want to be informed of any future incidents as soon as practically possible!!

Pollycat

Mondler wrote: »

I asked why they didnt let me know what had happened so I could have been there at the hospital with him, why didnt they call me from there etc and he said they didnt think to call me because they didnt want to worry me.

If you read this, it doesn't make sense.

They either were so busy with your son and so worried themselves that they 'didn't think to call you' you OR they considered ringing you but didn't because they didn't want to worry you.

I personally don't think you over-reacted.

Mondler wrote: »

To cut a long story short I ended up telling my grandparents it would be for the best if they didnt have him anymore, that if they wanted to see him I would bring him to their house, I explained that I wasnt mad about the accident because accidents happen, its the fact that they didnt let me know what happened so I could be there, the fact that they couldnt make a quick two second phone call to at least let me know they were at the hospital, the fact that I waited around for hours not knowing where they were etc.

Your grandparents should have rung you.
They probably realise that now.

I'm sure that you don't want a rift in the family, so I would go see them, and reiterate the bit above in bold.
I'm sure they would agree with you.

It's your call about whether they have your son again.
Personally, I would let them but make very sure what you expect of them in case of any more unforeseen circumstances.

duchy

I think a lot will depend on what they say and if they can acknowledge they were wrong. My BF has grandchildren and I could imagine him not thinking to ring his daughter and son in law and then getting defensive afterwards and saying something stupid like he didn't want to worry them. (It would never have got to the point your situation did as I'd have told him to ring them or I would)

I do think you should follow up with the hospital as it seems unbelievable they treated a child without parental permission. Most hospitals have a paitient partnership department who you could speak to and they will follow up. Either the hospital didn't ask or the grandparents at best misled the hospital staff treating him. I'd want to know which it was .

bagpussbear

I would be very cross with them too. Did they say why it didn't occur to them to ring?

As milliemonster says, I'm surprised the hospital didn't ask the grandparents to get in touch quickly with you. After all, if they were treating him, they would ask about allergies and things like that (surely?) which your grandparents might not have full knowledge of.

I don't think you overreacted. But perhaps give it a little time, and when the anger dies down maybe reconsider them having your child again, but making sure they absolutely understand what you expect in terms if there is a problem, accident etc.

Flugelhorn

milliemonster wrote: »

What concerns me is that the hospital treated your son without your consent? As a nurse myself, I know that when a child is brought into hospital by anyone other than their legal guardian then consent must be obtained before treatment unless it is a life threatening situation which I am presuming this was not, so why when the hospital will have (or should have) asked where his parents were to be contacted, did your grandparents at that point not give them the information for you to be contacted, or contacted you themselves?

absolutely agree - no consent is needed for treatment to save life or limb - after that anything can wait until an appropriate person is contacted to discuss treatment
(unless the child is old enough to consent for themselves to minor treatment and that is probably about 10-12 ish depending on the kid)

marisco_2

Mondler wrote: »

Just wanted to know if I am overreacting?

I think you all reacted to the situation in a state of shock and upset, and did and said things in the heat of the moment, that you all wish you had handled differently now. It is so lovely that your little boy has been able to build a precious bond and spend time with his great grandparents. So few children nowadays can do that.

I would suggest that you phone them and ask if you can pop round and discuss this now you have all calmed down a bit. To be honest they did everything right by your son, sort immediate treatment for him and kept him safe. They just didn't make a phone call. Perhaps they were too busy rushing him out the door to the hospital to phone from home. Do they have mobile phones? Did they have any spare change on them to make a call from the hospital? Bare all this is mind and consider that you really can more than trust them again in future.

splishsplash

I can't understand how they didn't contact you, tbh. Even if the accident happened just as they were leaving to bring your son back to you--which I doubt--that gave them four hours to make a 30 second phone call. FOUR HOURS?!?!?! I'd have blown a gasket by then. Thinking about it, it's more likely to have been five or six hours... that's really bad.

I also can't understanding how the hospital didn't ask for the parents' consent prior to giving stitches. Have you asked them how that could happen?

I think maybe, perhaps, possibly you've overreacted by saying you won't let them care for him again. After all, you've had two years of excellent care from them, and their care of your son is not in question even in this instance, just that they handled it badly.

Maybe a chat over a coffee when everyone has calmed down, a quick review of the ground-rules then try again? That is if you believe they didn't phone you because they were genuinely trying to not worry you (I wouldn't believe that personally, but hey ho), and that you've ascertained that it was the hospital's mistake regarding the consent issue.

wapow

Your grandparents seem rather stubborn and manipulative.
They cant hold their hands up and accept they made a grave mistake and now they've turned the family against you too.


You also have a duty to contact the hospital and find out !!!!!! they were thinking.

esmerelda98

milliemonster wrote: »

What concerns me is that the hospital treated your son without your consent? As a nurse myself, I know that when a child is brought into hospital by anyone other than their legal guardian then consent must be obtained before treatment unless it is a life threatening situation which I am presuming this was not, so why when the hospital will have (or should have) asked where his parents were to be contacted, did your grandparents at that point not give them the information for you to be contacted, or contacted you themselves?

The medical professional has a duty to act in the best interests of the child. A young child hits his head on concrete and your priority is contacting whoever feels they have 'ownership' of the child, rather than excluding and if necessary treating any intra-cranial bleed or other serious injury? Of course attempts should be made to contact the parents, it is the compassionate thing to do and it avoids administrative and legal headaches, but that is not the priority and should not delay or detract from the investigations and treatment of the child.

notanewuser

esmerelda98 wrote: »

The medical professional has a duty to act in the best interests of the child. A young child hits his head on concrete and your priority is contacting whoever feels they have 'ownership' of the child, rather than excluding and if necessary treating any intra-cranial bleed or other serious injury? Of course attempts should be made to contact the parents, it is the compassionate thing to do and it avoids administrative and legal headaches, but that is not the priority and should not delay or detract from the investigations and treatment of the child.

It took over 4 hours for my local A&E to deal with my daughter, despite determining that a cut under her chin was a head injury. They didn't even bother looking at it for over an hour and a half. She was asleep by the time the doctor saw her. A sleeping toddler displays many of the symptoms of concussion, so that was pointless. The triage nurse then glued her in about 2 minutes.

The fact that it took so long implies that it wasn't a priority case.