Adoption & Adopting

Ms_Chocaholic

No, I know of a number of FCs who have gone to private fostering due to increased fees.

greenorange

Syrah wrote: »

My husband and I are applying to be foster carers with the LA and we are so disheartened by the whole thing. We made our initial inquiry in July last year, and we have taken annual leave to go on courses/have meetings etc, but we've been royally messed around by them for several reasons - of which I won't bore you with, and now our social worker has been off sick for 2 months and nobody has bothered with us. I have rung them regularly and I keep getting promised that someone will ring us back, but they never do. They're meant to be crying out for carers but we are getting a very different impression. We have 3 spare bedrooms, I'm willing to give up my career in nursing, and we'll take any age from 0-18 so it's not like we're being awkward. If it wasn't for a very genuine passion to give these kids a home and love them for as long as they're part if our lives, we'd have quit this whole thing before now.

My mother is a foster carer and she had similar problems with her social worker quiting during the initial stages. Thankfully they assigned her a new one very quickly. All of her training/meetings were on the weekends or in the evening so she didn't need to take time off. It took a long time, with many social worker visits, but she got there in the end.

She's called very often to have a child, usually last minute, and only has them for a very short period of time. Sometimes it's very emotional, but very rewarding.

Raksha

Sorry to hijack the thread, but as a 54 year old with mental health issues that seem to be connected to being adopted, where do I get support? My local social services don't want to know because I wasn't adopted through them...

Ms_Chocaholic

Raksha

What type of issues do you want support with? Is it issues to do with your mental health, issues around identity as you were adopted or help/assistance/support to find your birth family?

Either post here or PM and hopefully I can point you in the right direction.

Regards
Ms Chocaholic x

Syrah

I thought about agency, but we've got this far and if we had a SW who pulled their finger out we could be at panel in July.
The money side isn't important (not saying it doesn't help!) so it's not enough to sway me from the LA but I have to say, they've not filled us with much confidence the way they've handled it so far. If it goes on much longer we'll consider private agency, but it would mean a completely wasted 9 months of work.

Raksha

Ms_Chocaholic wrote: »

Raksha

What type of issues do you want support with? Is it issues to do with your mental health, issues around identity as you were adopted or help/assistance/support to find your birth family?

Either post here or PM and hopefully I can point you in the right direction.

Regards
Ms Chocaholic x

Thanks Ms C

It was suggested I may have Borderline personality disorder, which may be linked, my biggest issues are struggling to meet others expectations and dealing with rejection. I struggle to even make phone calls incase there is no answer or I can't get the response I'm hoping for, and this is affecting my every day life. My mood swings from being able to take on the world and from wanting to be invisible.

Ms_Chocaholic

Sorry to hear you are struggling Raksha.

Have you been to the GP. They will be able to point you in the right direction in terms of getting support for this, usually by talking therapy. Unfortunately there is often a waiting list and this is entirely dependent on which part of the UK you are in but, even if you are just put on the waiting list, at least it's a start to getting better.

Take care x

Indie_Kid

Cyclamen wrote: »

I have been thinking about adoption too.. my story is a litle complicated as I have a disability .. nothing that will stop me loving and parenting a child..but it will raise a few challenges...some things i wont be able to do but other things i will be able to do more of than another person ..I will always be at home for them, but i wonder if thsi would mean I am not eligible to apply.

Admittedly, she hasn't really talked about the adoption process; but I do have a disabled friend who has adopted a child. Actually, I think she and her husband have recently adopted a second child. So, yes, it can be done.

I do remember her having a rant because someone questionned whether she's fit to adopt aand look after a child.:mad:

Cyclamen

Indie_Kid wrote: »

Admittedly, she hasn't really talked about the adoption process; but I do have a disabled friend who has adopted a child. Actually, I think she and her husband have recently adopted a second child. So, yes, it can be done.

I do remember her having a rant because someone questionned whether she's fit to adopt aand look after a child.:mad:

:-) thansk for standing up for her

It's the last bit that bothers me..even myself.. i have carers to help me with some tasks .. so havent decided yet wether that means i can cope.. but i wouldnt be doing this alone..my husband is amazing and thankfully works from home most of the time.

I am completely in support of everyone else with a disability trying.. but worried i'd get refused before i could even explain all the plans and adaptations and why i would still be a good parent and my husband a fab dad despite disability.

100yoga

I am so pleased that I have found this thread!
I have just been approved to adopt so there are exciting times ahead for me! The process is hard going and can be all consuming but it is SO worth the effort. The process has so far taken 10 months and it is likely to take another three months to get matched with a child.

I have had some significant medical issues in the past and was concerned that this would stop my adoption application but am pleased to say that I discussed these issues at length with my social worker and it was not raised as an issue by anyone when I went to panel to get approved to be an adoptive parent.

British Association of Adoption and Foster and Adoption UK are good websites and have some very useful information and publications.
If you want more information about applying I would contact the adoption team at your local council as they will probably have open day / evening sessions where you can find out more, ask lots of questions and meet people who have adopted.