Adoption & Adopting

pinkladyof66

Thanks for that gizmo I too am under the understanding the file is closed until such time as a child is old enough asks questions and then chooses to find their birth parents

sweaty_betty

Hi there - I'm seriously thinking about adoption at the moment.

I have one child (birth child) who's nearly 4 and the biggest issue is if it's right for him and our current family (i.e. me, OH and LO). I'm not expecting anyone here will have the answer to that as it's a very individual thing.

I went to an information day at an adoption agency a few weeks ago to get some more information about the process etc - I would really encourage anyone thinking about it to do this. There's no obligation to sign up to anything.

There are lots of parts of the process I don't fancy - not that I don't see a need for them, I just find them a bit intrusive. Things like interviewing ex-partners, lots of personal questions (including about your sex life and your finances - not sure which is worse!), assessing your house and getting you to change things they don't agree with. However, I'm taking the view that it's a bit like going for a very in depth job interview and, as far as ex-partners go, they are aware that many relationships breakdown badly and result in bad feeling, so they will take that into account when taking on board what they have to say.

For now I've put in on hold. As I understand it, they prefer there to be at least 2 years between an adopted child and a birth child/previously adopted child, so we may not be approved at this point anyway. But I will be keeping up with this thread.

gizmo111

pinkladyof66 wrote: »

Thanks for that gizmo I too am under the understanding the file is closed until such time as a child is old enough asks questions and then chooses to find their birth parents

Well after working as a social worker for many years I know that is the case!

Cyclamen

I have been thinking about adoption too.. my story is a litle complicated as I have a disability .. nothing that will stop me loving and parenting a child..but it will raise a few challenges...some things i wont be able to do but other things i will be able to do more of than another person ..I will always be at home for them, but i wonder if thsi would mean I am not eligible to apply.

Also the weight question.. i am cuddly.. i'm not going to keel over anytime soon but I am fat and wonder how much of an issue that would be.. I eat too much for my activity levels and medication types... my weight has been stable for a long time but when i first got ill it went crazy.. will this disqualify me?

My husband is a bit older than me.. love each other dearly and are both interested in adopting and finding info but is there an upper age limit? I am mid 30's he is late 40's.

We would ideally be looking at a young child not a baby somewhere areound 4-6 yrs but wonder if that would be an option.

pinkladyof66

Cyclamen wrote: »

I have been thinking about adoption too.. my story is a litle complicated as I have a disability .. nothing that will stop me loving and parenting a child..but it will raise a few challenges...some things i wont be able to do but other things i will be able to do more of than another person ..I will always be at home for them, but i wonder if thsi would mean I am not eligible to apply.

Also the weight question.. i am cuddly.. i'm not going to keel over anytime soon but I am fat and wonder how much of an issue that would be.. I eat too much for my activity levels and medication types... my weight has been stable for a long time but when i first got ill it went crazy.. will this disqualify me?

My husband is a bit older than me.. love each other dearly and are both interested in adopting and finding info but is there an upper age limit? I am mid 30's he is late 40's.

We would ideally be looking at a young child not a baby somewhere areound 4-6 yrs but wonder if that would be an option.

me and hubby are both cuddly they did mention it in our assessment but were were approved i was 45 when my son arrived hubbie 40 as far as i am aware there is no real upper age limit now. we were going to be approved for school age. however as the children are alot younger nowadays we were approved from 18mths to 6 years... our son was just 3 when he arrived anything you wish to know I am happy to answer any questions

Cyclamen

thanks pinklady

i needto do a bit of research.. been to a few websites, barnardos and the baaf one .. its my disability that worries me the most.. i make a blooming good cheer squad, loads of time and patience and love but my body doesnt work quite the way i'd like and i worry what theyd say about that after all it has to be what is best for the kiddie.

My Gp was supportive of us trying to have our own baby but sadly that isn't to be and i feel i am meant to be a mum.. its just working out if I am able.

I shall watch this thread with interest.

Syrah

My husband and I are applying to be foster carers with the LA and we are so disheartened by the whole thing. We made our initial inquiry in July last year, and we have taken annual leave to go on courses/have meetings etc, but we've been royally messed around by them for several reasons - of which I won't bore you with, and now our social worker has been off sick for 2 months and nobody has bothered with us. I have rung them regularly and I keep getting promised that someone will ring us back, but they never do. They're meant to be crying out for carers but we are getting a very different impression. We have 3 spare bedrooms, I'm willing to give up my career in nursing, and we'll take any age from 0-18 so it's not like we're being awkward. If it wasn't for a very genuine passion to give these kids a home and love them for as long as they're part if our lives, we'd have quit this whole thing before now.

gizmo111

Syrah wrote: »

My husband and I are applying to be foster carers with the LA and we are so disheartened by the whole thing. We made our initial inquiry in July last year, and we have taken annual leave to go on courses/have meetings etc, but we've been royally messed around by them for several reasons - of which I won't bore you with, and now our social worker has been off sick for 2 months and nobody has bothered with us. I have rung them regularly and I keep getting promised that someone will ring us back, but they never do. They're meant to be crying out for carers but we are getting a very different impression. We have 3 spare bedrooms, I'm willing to give up my career in nursing, and we'll take any age from 0-18 so it's not like we're being awkward. If it wasn't for a very genuine passion to give these kids a home and love them for as long as they're part if our lives, we'd have quit this whole thing before now.

Try a fostering agency.

Ms_Chocaholic

They'll pay you more too!

pleasedelete

Ms_Chocaholic wrote: »

They'll pay you more too!

Are you on the wrong thread?