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Debt Bomb shell dropped on me

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  • eyeopener2
    eyeopener2 Posts: 1,783 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture Combo Breaker Debt-free and Proud!
    Hope things are ticking along nicely.
    I'm Debt Free :j 2/09/2013
    Debt at LBM 30/04/2010 £24,109.38,
  • eyeopener2 wrote: »
    Hope things are ticking along nicely.

    yip they are okay for now, I have nothing new to add :)

    I promise to keep you updated with any changes and news he gets from step change .

    Oh I do have something, his salary I posted in the first page is wrong I thought 31k including the car allowance its not, its 31+6 for car not that it makes any difference though be still blew it all
    ♥ ♥ Happiness = Freedom ♥ Freedom = Happiness ♥♥
  • Monkeyballs
    Monkeyballs Posts: 1,935 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture Combo Breaker
    Hi FD, it's Brenda from Carlisle with the burger van isn't it? You're married to Terry and have a couple of kids, one called Aberdeen and another called Angus? ;) don't worry love, you're secret is safe with me...

    Firstly a brief omission - I've not read all posts but I read the first couple and the last four or five to get an idea of what's occurring :)

    It sounds like a major page has been turned if his attitude has changed which is fantastic news :) you've added some fascinating posts on this thread and I'm glad that you're sounding more positive...

    So, I'm a recovering gambling addict and have been for about a year and a half now and while I've had a couple of "blips" I can assure you that it's very possible to manage with a little help BUT you can't force a change, your OH has to want it and seek help for himself otherwise it probably won't work and will lead to more lies and bitterness...

    1. Self exclusion from all the bookies in town is a must - it's dead easy as all you need to do is go in with a couple of passport size pics and ask for self exclusion and then the person behind the counter will fill in the forms and list all of the branches in the local area and is then distributed so they have a mug shot. If he goes in then they'l ask him to leave which is very embarrassing...

    2. Contact Gamcare, they will be able to discuss the matter further and help him come to terms with having a problem and also give details of any meetings or help available in your area - I personally was put in contact with NECA who arranged bi-weekly 1:1 sessions with a counsellor and were a huge help.

    3. It's easy to think that you've not got a problem because "my mates are all there and it's a social thing" it's not... If you can't have an open conversation with family and friends because you don't think it's any of their business then it's not good for you is it?

    4. Block online gambling sites using one of the free filters available to download.

    Finally, and this is a big one... Don't try to guilt or shame him with threats to tell family members and/or friends. This has to be done in his time when he is comfortable to avoid him telling lies. He may choose to not tell anyone until it's entirely in hand or just come out with it asking for help - it's his call though.

    I only started gambling a few years back, all online and in bookies on the FOBT's roulette wheels and managed to get hooked without realising it! Its very easy, easier still if you're looking to clear your mind and "de-stress" and I managed to add around £10k to my outstanding dents in that time - not looking for a big win, just killing time and watching the lights because I was bored and it was easy...

    Keep strong, keep posting, ask any questions you like :)

    MB x
  • Nessa56
    Nessa56 Posts: 946 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture Combo Breaker PPI Party Pooper
    Why on earth would you put names on here??!!! Not helpful at all. Unless I am missing something ...???????
    SEALED POT CHALLENGE 6 - MEMBER NUMBER 086 Special Star from Sue :staradmin :T:T
  • Possibly the joke?
    Mortgage at 01.01.14 £119,481.83:eek: today £0 Emergency fund £5.5/5.5k & £200/200 cash.:jWeight 24/02/19 14st 7lb now 12st determined to stop defining myself by my mistakes. Progress not perfection.:T100%through my 1% mortgage challenge. 100% through my pb challenge.
  • Nessa56 wrote: »
    Why on earth would you put names on here??!!! Not helpful at all. Unless I am missing something ...???????

    I'm not sure where you mean could you add the post number and I can delete them.
    ♥ ♥ Happiness = Freedom ♥ Freedom = Happiness ♥♥
  • I think it's post 496. If so, there's no need to panic. Btw, how's you fd?
    Mortgage at 01.01.14 £119,481.83:eek: today £0 Emergency fund £5.5/5.5k & £200/200 cash.:jWeight 24/02/19 14st 7lb now 12st determined to stop defining myself by my mistakes. Progress not perfection.:T100%through my 1% mortgage challenge. 100% through my pb challenge.
  • Shovel_Lad
    Shovel_Lad Posts: 1,123 Forumite
    Eighth Anniversary Photogenic
    I'm not sure where you mean could you add the post number and I can delete them.
    I'm assuming post 496 - posted by Monkeyballs not you :)
  • I think it's post 496. If so, there's no need to panic. Btw, how's you fd?

    Hahaha yeah definitely a joke I guess it was a quick skim read to miss the joke part!

    Things are pretty much the same, he is still here not sure that will be forever the way things are going but only time will tell.

    Step change have disappeared, he emailed and called to be told that they have a3/4 wweek backlog and haven't got to his case :shrug: so still in limbo unfortunately :(

    I will come back to update when we get any news
    ♥ ♥ Happiness = Freedom ♥ Freedom = Happiness ♥♥
  • Nessa56
    Nessa56 Posts: 946 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture Combo Breaker PPI Party Pooper
    Yup it is official I am a twit !!!

    Was a quick skim read just before bed. Aberdeen and Angus :(:(. :rotfl::rotfl:

    Good luck and take care

    V
    X
    SEALED POT CHALLENGE 6 - MEMBER NUMBER 086 Special Star from Sue :staradmin :T:T
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