feel so sad and lonely in my marriage

newthrift

tattycath wrote: »

:rotfl: are we related? :rotfl: I can talk for England-Ireland, Scotland and Wales as well!

ha ha :rotfl: tattycath you never know!

Sandstone

Georgiegirl256

Hehe love it Sandstone!

System

Sandstone, very good.:D

OP I think its a man thing. I often have to say to my hubby.

'Did you listen to a word I said?'

He comes home from work goes on and on and on about the job and what so and so and said and how far behind the job is ..... then he'll go on about the car, or the stuff he's bought on Ebay.

Then I happen to mention one of the kids and I get that vacant look on his face and he carries on talking.

Annoys the !!!!! out of me.:mad:

hazyjo

Sandstone wrote: »

Great minds - I was googling for that lol. Couldn't find it!!! My version ended something like 'team lost, but got a [EMAIL="sh@g"]sh@g[/EMAIL] off the girlfriend!'

Jx

CH27

If I want to discuss something with my OH or Son i've started texting them & saying can you have a think about what you want to do about ..........
Sometimes I find giving them time to think about something before we talk it over works.
Sometimes they totally ignore me

Prothet_of_Doom

prowla wrote: »

Sometimes she would go out and I'd be watching something on telly, and she'd wander in with about 10 minutes of it left and start talking over the top of it.

If I'd play some music she'd tell me to turn it off, or even just come in and turn it down.

I think that people need to appreciate each other's space, and if they don't then they shouldn't be surprised if one appears to disconnect.

Telly. My wife will just turn over if she wants. Not even ask.

Music? She hates my music. And will turn it off as she walks past on the way to the kitchen, saying "This is rubbish"

Should I divorce her ? :rotfl:

valk_scot

CH27 wrote: »

If I want to discuss something with my OH or Son i've started texting them & saying can you have a think about what you want to do about ..........

I send my OH emails about important things. Then he can't accuse me of not telling him (because he wasn't listening at the time) and I don't have to say it all again, I just tell him to read the email.


If I just want a chat I have to pick my moment, between him doing his hobbies, reading, watching the tv, working, about to go out/to the loo/just plain tired. This narrows the window of opportunity down to about 20 minutes a week in practice. Actually I very seldom just chat to him about nothing much, it's a waste of time as yes, he just zones out. If I want to discuss something then I make sure he knows that I want to do this before I start, I don't just jump into it. And I make him turn away from the PC or his phone first. He's just useless at free flow conversation unless it involves his hobbies or sports. Nothing to do with whether or not he loves me or respects me, it's just that I've been around so long I've sort of faded into the general flow of life for him.


If I just want to have a good general natter about nothing much I much prefer talking to my female friends tbh. They listen, they speak back to me in relevant sentences, they participate. I do think women are generally much better at this sort of free form chatter though my teenage son isn't too bad at it has to say, he often comes and has a bit of a blether when he comes in from school. Long may it continue, his future partner will appreciate it I hope!

System

I send my OH emails about important things. Then he can't accuse me of not telling him (because he wasn't listening at the time) and I don't have to say it all again, I just tell him to read the email.

Glad its not just me then cause I do that too. Email, text, Whatsapp .... I get more of a response from.:rotfl:

A message with a picture included of one of the dogs usually gets a response straight away.:D

tea_lover

valk_scot wrote: »

If I just want a chat I have to pick my moment, between him doing his hobbies, reading, watching the tv, working, about to go out/to the loo/just plain tired. This narrows the window of opportunity down to about 20 minutes a week in practice. Actually I very seldom just chat to him about nothing much, it's a waste of time as yes, he just zones out. If I want to discuss something then I make sure he knows that I want to do this before I start, I don't just jump into it. And I make him turn away from the PC or his phone first. He's just useless at free flow conversation unless it involves his hobbies or sports. Nothing to do with whether or not he loves me or respects me, it's just that I've been around so long I've sort of faded into the general flow of life for him.

Am so glad you posted this! I do sometimes worry that OH and I don’t speak to each other enough. We get on fine (for the most part lol), and can happily have conversations about his hobbies, work etc. but I do feel like I have to drive them. It seems sometimes that if I didn’t make the effort to speak to him (about things that interest him) then we wouldn’t speak much at all. It’s nice to hear that other couples are like this too.

Sometimes I start thinking that everyone else must be sat at home with no TV or distractions, talking the night away about music, art, politics etc. I suppose it’s like other people’s sex-lives…. you tend to assume everyone else’s is better than yours :rotfl:.