Regret moving!

Soleil_lune

Lake Vyrnwy is an absolutely gorgeous area; I have visited it many times, but I would not want to live there. Too remote by far, with nothing closeby; no shops, few jobs, no entertainment, few activities... Rural is fine, but not remote.

We live rural, in a tiny town on the edges in a cottage, and it's about a mile from a main road, and 3 miles from a main town. Luckily we didn't have to swap jobs, as we lived 15-18 miles south of our jobs before, and now we live 15-18 miles north. (So we were able to stay.)

I have lost count of the amount of people who move to an area that they visited in holiday, and it's SUCH a different life as a resident/general member of the public, to what it is being on holiday. I have known people move to Wales and Scotland, and even France, America and Australia, and the majority have moved back within 2 to 5 years.

I would move back. I am sorry your family hardly visit, but it's hardly surprising: we moved just 30 miles north of our old town and most of my family rarely visit. We still have to go see them. It's like some people will not budge if YOU are the one that moved.

Good luck.

Floss

weeze210 wrote: »

...In the mean time I'm going to take a look on Rightmove to see what house prices are doing back home...

Those two words sum it up really don't they?

globetraveller

I haven't read your previous posts but from what balletshoes has copied it doesn't sound like a bed of roses "back home" either.
You need to really think whether you loved "home" as much as you are believing now. Perhaps you do- only you know that. You could go home and your son may not like the school and his chums have moved on. You need to be really sure that a move back is going to make you happy.
Have you thought of a bit of a compromise? If OH doesn't want to leave his job, is there a town or large village within commuting distance which would give you what you want ie good school, more activities, better job chances for you? You do need to do something as you are obviously very down but don't automatically think the only option is to go back.

Buzzybee90

No job, no family nearby, you'd be miserable in the sticks or in a different city.

[Deleted User]

If you are an incomer to a small rural welsh area, such as Lake Vyrnwy,then you are very likely to always remain on the periphery. I get the impression that you don`t speak welsh and haven`t bothered to try and learn it. Locally established families, established through generations together, will be very unaccepting of an English outsider but you would have had more of a chance by learning the language and going to local pubs and groups, I do realise that you would have to travel. I was in a similar situation in wales, when groups would carry on speaking in welsh, although they knew I could not speak the language. We moved in 18 months, back to chester

Now we live in rural somerset and it is wonderful but no way on earth would you have got me back to living in rural wales. The animosity to the English is still palpable in some locations and no wonder you feel so lonely. Move and do it before your son gets to year 9. It will have much less of a negative impact on his education if done by then

poorlittlefish

I agree. I moved to Wales in search of a better life and while I do have more peace and quiet I have a minimum 45-minute drive to get anywhere with any facilities. Commuting to work costs an absolute fortune in petrol and I've gone from earning £38k to £24k. I've had obvious discrimination and hostility from some "natives" and don't know a soul. Property round here can take years to sell. While I certainly have a completely different life and there are good elements, I certainly wouldn't say it's better. I think that moving to a completely new area, where you're effectively starting all over again, is very difficult indeed unless you already have friends/family nearby.

balletshoes

weeze210 wrote: »

We did discuss what if one of us wasn't happy but he is now reluctant to move back.
I still want to move back but am now wondering if I will be any happier if we did. I will think some more about it.
Thankyou for all the replies as it helps a lot to see different points of view.

sorry to bang on about this, I know its a difficult situation to be in, but what about your son? If he is still in regular contact with his friends in your old home, if he is still good enough friends with some of them that he stays with them when you go back to visit family and friends, and if he doesn't have the same kind of friendships in your current home after nearly 3 years there, maybe, if you don't think your life and feelings would be any different/better back where you lived before, your son feels differently, and would be happier/more settled/have better future prospects there?

You'll know the answer to those questions better than any of us, I just think those issues are worth considering in the situation you find yourself in.

balletshoes

Floss wrote: »

Those two words sum it up really don't they?

"back home" to me means at least 2 places . When I'm going back to visit my childhood home, where most of my family still live, I describe it as "going home". When I'm there and I'm preparing to come back to where I live now, I describe that as "going home". Both places are "home" to me.

JIL

If you dont like where you are in life then change it. You are not a tree.

soupdragon10

I moved to rural Cornwall 25 years ago from the heart of Londonw with no family close by, only partner and small daughter. OH was at work all day, dd was at school so I had to make a life for myself or sit at home and think of what I had left behind.


So I got into voluntary work and joined the PTA. Took my dog out for walks (its amazing how quickly you meet people).
I am still here and have over the past 25 years helped at numerous school events, been on the committee of the village hall, gone from a volunteer to a paid member of staff and retrained.
If you have a computer and want to improve your qualifications explore what the Open University has to offer. Living in a rural area takes adjustment, but it is in your hands to make your new life what you want it to be without relying on your family for visits.