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Nice People Thread Number 11 - A Treasury of Nice People
Comments
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You don't feel like you should be having a rough time because you don't deserve to be ill? Completely agree.
You don't feel like you should be having a rough time because you haven't been through a lot/ should be feeling better by now etc? Completely disagree.
You have been through a lot physically, and I'm guessing continue to do so mentally. I admire you for trying to keep going with work (if it was me I'm sure I'd be trying if only as a distraction), but you need to allow yourself as much time as you find you need to recover.
Look after yourself, Gen.
This.
Generali, some days I am so !!!!!!! angry I feel very, very destructive. This is with the benefit of a lot of time and less responsibility than you have, and a partner who is more able to support me in a way best suited to me than Mrs gen is managing atm.
I don't know how you could expect not to feel angry.
Cheap supermarket mugs are quite good to break if you have an area you can sweep up safely for feet little and big alike. Or ones in sets with ones missing that bug you but you are too sensible/tight too replace.
:o.
Fundamentally I feel anger is sometimes what pushes through difficult times of health sometimes though.
I think you are amazing, you remain one of my heroes. If I had keyboards to send you to break I would do so.0 -
neverdespairgirl wrote: »Sounds such a charmer, your ex. Why believe a load of doctors and nurses actually treating someone, when you can instead decide to accept what your Mum's friend's sister says?
I certainly couldn't have been driving a couple of days after having a caesarian birth, and I imagine a hysterectomy is rather less fun that that.
I think he decided that the hospital advice was for extreme cases and that because his mum's friend had come out quicker, that was the norm. I'm still not convinced that the mum's friend had a hysterectomy in the first place, it was probably a D&C as, at the time, the minimum time to be in hospital was 4 days post op and the average more like 5 or 6 days post op.
As for driving, I was back doing that within 2 weeks (checked with insurance company first), no choice really, it was the only way the family could function.
Housework (including hoovering), was 4 days post op and within 30 minutes of arriving home from the hospital, no I was not well enough to do it and it was against advice but I had no choice but to do it.We made it! All three boys have graduated, it's been hard work but it shows there is a possibility of a chance of normal (ish) life after a diagnosis (or two) of ASD. It's not been the easiest route but I am so glad I ignored everything and everyone and did my own therapies with them.
Eldests' EDS diagnosis 4.5.10, mine 13.1.11 eekk - now having fun and games as a wheelchair user.0 -
The thing I find about housework is that if you leave it, it waits for you. Doesn't run away or anything!...much enquiry having been made concerning a gentleman, who had quitted a company where Johnson was, and no information being obtained; at last Johnson observed, that 'he did not care to speak ill of any man behind his back, but he believed the gentleman was an attorney'.0
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Doozergirl wrote: »GDB, I hope your wife is as okay as she can be and that your family is taking comfort from each other. I'm sorry.
Is it inappropriate to ask about the dog? Are you now dog owners?
We have the mutt with us right now, but DW is refusing to discuss any long-term plans for her right now.
Can I thank everyone for their condolences about MIL. It is very kind of you, and I will pass on your good wishes to DW.No reliance should be placed on the above! Absolutely none, do you hear?0 -
neverdespairgirl wrote: »The thing I find about housework is that if you leave it, it waits for you. Doesn't run away or anything!
I find it helpful to divide housework into two categories - the sort that will need more work if you leave it (like laundry) and the sort that will still only need about the same amount of work even if left for ages (like vacuuming). If there's a limited amount of time and/or energy available, always focus on the first kind, plus anything with a deadline, of course, like making sure kids have enough clean uniform to be able to go to school!
Do you know anyone who's bereaved? Point them to https://www.AtaLoss.org which does for bereavement support what MSE does for financial services, providing links to support organisations relevant to the circumstances of the loss & the local area. (Link permitted by forum team)
Tyre performance in the wet deteriorates rapidly below about 3mm tread - change yours when they get dangerous, not just when they are nearly illegal (1.6mm).
Oh, and wear your seatbelt. My kids are only alive because they were wearing theirs when somebody else was driving in wet weather with worn tyres.
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neverdespairgirl wrote: »The thing I find about housework is that if you leave it, it waits for you. Doesn't run away or anything!
Agreed.
It wasn't done willingly but I was convinced to do it by flying objects hitting the walls and a raised decibel level.We made it! All three boys have graduated, it's been hard work but it shows there is a possibility of a chance of normal (ish) life after a diagnosis (or two) of ASD. It's not been the easiest route but I am so glad I ignored everything and everyone and did my own therapies with them.
Eldests' EDS diagnosis 4.5.10, mine 13.1.11 eekk - now having fun and games as a wheelchair user.0 -
I don't feel that I should be having a rough time, that's the hard bit. I try to work a bit and I feel a f ing mess, just horrible. I'm angry, I can't even type. I've broken 2 keyboards in 2 days by punching them and I think I might have done in the lawnmower with a chair.
That seems pretty reasonable to me. I broke a chair once, and I had a good deal less to be angry about than you. In fact, I can't even recall what I was angry about. Taking the anger out on 'things' seems a really good idea. Just try to keep your self in check so you don't do anything that you really, really regret later.
Feeling horrible physically is not surprising. You have had an operation and a general anaesthetic. It takes at least a week to recover physically, and longer if you have pain from the op/are on painkillers.
Besides which, if you were on strong painkillers that you have now stopped taking, is it possible that you may be having some temporary withdrawal symptoms?
You're also entitled to feel horrible mentally. You don't have to bottle that up.No reliance should be placed on the above! Absolutely none, do you hear?0 -
lostinrates wrote: »This.
Generali, some days I am so !!!!!!! angry I feel very, very destructive. This is with the benefit of a lot of time and less responsibility than you have, and a partner who is more able to support me in a way best suited to me than Mrs gen is managing atm.
I don't know how you could expect not to feel angry.
Cheap supermarket mugs are quite good to break if you have an area you can sweep up safely for feet little and big alike. Or ones in sets with ones missing that bug you but you are too sensible/tight too replace.:o.
Fundamentally I feel anger is sometimes what pushes through difficult times of health sometimes though.
I think you are amazing, you remain one of my heroes. If I had keyboards to send you to break I would do so.
Could I just intervene on an MSE point? Get some old mugs and old china from a charity shop. That way the charity benefits, and you are only smashing up some stuff they probably can't sell anyway.
I have some old PS/2 (and AT) keyboards here that you are welcome to. Transport could be a problem. It would not be MSE to air-freight them to you, and I expect you'll be a lot less angry by the time they arrive if I send them by sea.
I agree with the advice not to bother to work right now. Nobody (reasonable) expects you to.No reliance should be placed on the above! Absolutely none, do you hear?0 -
Could I just intervene on an MSE point? Get some old mugs and old china from a charity shop. That way the charity benefits, and you are only smashing up some stuff they probably can't sell anyway.
I have some old PS/2 (and AT) keyboards here that you are welcome to. Transport could be a problem. It would not be MSE to air-freight them to you, and I expect you'll be a lot less angry by the time they arrive if I send them by sea.
I agree with the advice not to bother to work right now. Nobody (reasonable) expects you to.
Star post! :TDo you know anyone who's bereaved? Point them to https://www.AtaLoss.org which does for bereavement support what MSE does for financial services, providing links to support organisations relevant to the circumstances of the loss & the local area. (Link permitted by forum team)
Tyre performance in the wet deteriorates rapidly below about 3mm tread - change yours when they get dangerous, not just when they are nearly illegal (1.6mm).
Oh, and wear your seatbelt. My kids are only alive because they were wearing theirs when somebody else was driving in wet weather with worn tyres.0 -
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