Nice People Thread Number 11 - A Treasury of Nice People

lostinrates

I could ditch medication for a week and drink nothing but champagne, but I doubt that would serve me well. Mores the pity.

I think I might stick to bottled water from now on though....


Ooh, I just realised, I might be able to take kiwi...that could be fun.

PasturesNew

LydiaJ wrote: »

She could take her own kettle to the north of England.

They might not have electricity up there yet..... probably need to take an old whistler.

Generali

LydiaJ wrote: »

I love your description of the waiting room!

Thanks. It really is surprisingly jolly. I met a woman with a prosthetic forehead today. A Prosthetic Forehead! A Prosthetic bloody Forehead! Amazing.

She had a brain tumour which was identified and she was told it wasn't fast growing so she could wait for an MRI. She didn't fancy waiting so went private. The results showed she would have had a stroke within a week!

LydiaJ wrote: »

Is the MacMillan nurse helpful? Because your description of your family members doesn't say much about them supporting you.

They do their best. The kids are kids, what can I expect from them? The rest of them do their best. They mean well. I get a call from my mum each time something new starts (operation, radiotherapy, diagnosis stage) but then I get as many calls from my son's godfather as I do from her. Mrs Generali tries but she has her own demons to face. It does sometimes feel like I'm kinda going through this alone in RL. Not quite alone but nearly.

Generali

PasturesNew wrote: »

They might not have electricity up there yet..... probably need to take an old whistler.

They'll need a red flag so someone can walk ahead of the horseless carriage. I understand Northerners will work for beer and lumps of cow's pre-anus (they rather quaintly call it 'tripe').

lostinrates

Generali wrote: »

Thanks. It really is surprisingly jolly. I met a woman with a prosthetic forehead today. A Prosthetic Forehead! A Prosthetic bloody Forehead! Amazing.

She had a brain tumour which was identified and she was told it wasn't fast growing so she could wait for an MRI. She didn't fancy waiting so went private. The results showed she would have had a stroke within a week!



They do their best. The kids are kids, what can I expect from them? The rest of them do their best. They mean well. I get a call from my mum each time something new starts (operation, radiotherapy, diagnosis stage) but then I get as many calls from my son's godfather as I do from her. Mrs Generali tries but she has her own demons to face. It does sometimes feel like I'm kinda going through this alone in RL. Not quite alone but nearly.

Gen, when this is over, would you consider a more formal talking situation with mrs gen, where you can both communicate some?

Generali

lostinrates wrote: »

Gen, when this is over, would you consider a more formal talking situation with mrs gen, where you can both communicate some?

Tried it once. It was an utter failure. The woman running it had something of an agenda, i.e. that I was in some way an abusive husband and the fact that she had no evidence merely meant that Mrs Generali was too cowed and I was too sophisticated for her to obtain any. She also was convinced that I did nothing around the house (it was while I wasn't working so I did all the housework except laundry which I am banned from). She had memorised the Big Australian Book of Sexual Stereotypes and used it as a manual.

TBH we communicate pretty well.

lostinrates

Generali wrote: »

Tried it once. It was an utter failure. The woman running it had something of an agenda, i.e. that I was in some way an abusive husband and the fact that she had no evidence merely meant that Mrs Generali was too cowed and I was too sophisticated for her to obtain any. She also was convinced that I did nothing around the house (it was while I wasn't working so I did all the housework except laundry which I am banned from). She had memorised the Big Australian Book of Sexual Stereotypes and used it as a manual.

TBH we communicate pretty well.

Well,communicate you need your hand held these few weeks . The thing is, if she's holding your hand, you are also holding hers.

Sorry it was a failure.

lostinrates

PasturesNew wrote: »

This is the reality ... people can make noises, but when they turn away, or you're awake at night, or alone on the bike or in the car ... you realise you are alone. And all the "positive thinking" and good wishes are really just air... they said it, they meant what they meant, but it doesn't actually change anything. Nobody can take the burden from you, nobody can say "here, give it to me, I know what to do with that". It's not a task you can get outsourced.

It's just you.... and all you really want is for it to just not have happened at all.

I don't feel this. I could do what I do alone. I don't feel I am, DH is there. I can outsource a lot to him. MRI scans and med taking nope, but support, hand holding, and using the on days my head/ ears / pain make it unbearable yes.

I want for it not to have happened at all. But nothing can change that. I cannot give it to DH, or anyone else, but I can consider coping strategies or advice.

Edit: the only other thing I'd add, is that I cannot imagine this kind of acute thing and when cancer is mentioned the shadow casts long even if the illness doesn't. The nearest I can think of is when I first got told things or when new things go wrong, how I feel. Its horrid , terrifying, even broken, I like my stasis!

Aiui mrs gen has felt bad intermittently or chronically for a long time. Maybe less knife edge but potentially as 'mortally'. She'll probably know your fear in a way having felt emotionally vulnerable and probably feel some self dislike about having felt it and not suffered how you have. Dunno.

There is no comparison, but my guess is you've probably never seen the world as each other does so clearly as you do now. Shrug. Scary place.

Generali

lostinrates wrote: »

Well,communicate you need your hand held these few weeks . The thing is, if she's holding your hand, you are also holding hers.

Sorry it was a failure.

In fairness it did bring us together in our mutual contempt of this idiot woman so to that extent it worked!

If I just needed someone to hold my hand I could carry round a rubber glove filled with warm custard. What I need is someone that wants to hold my hand. She wants to but kinda can't, metaphorically at least.

PasturesNew

Generali wrote: »

... a rubber glove filled with warm custard....

Ah ... teen memories eh!