Nice People Thread Number 11 - A Treasury of Nice People

ukmaggie45

LiR, so glad it went well with the scan today and you weren't too uncomfortable.

OH has gone off into town for a free mike poetry session at Mello Mello. I'm falling asleep here, so might grab a final quick cig in the porch and go to bed early. At least OH put a hot water bottle in bed for me before he left - I've been frozen most of the day today (been mizzling between intermittent almost showers all day) but am still trying to hold out on not putting the central heating back on. If it stays this chilly here much longer though I won't manage it... And next time I go for a bath I'm definitely going to ask for heat on that morning - bathroom NE facing, so no sun heat and it's f***ing freezing in there in the mornings, just horrid when you try to have a bath.

lostinrates

LydiaJ wrote: »

I wish.

It might mean being treated by the actual Greek bloke off the show, though, which would be exciting. I think if I wanted the two blonde women I'd have to pay for them myself, which would be lovely, but probably very expensive. I wonder how much they cost?

I am happy for her. The de cluttering thing is presumably something she would need to feel not out of control over.

Have you read any of the hoarders thread? Was a great help to us. Incidentally dh's family are all minor hoarders ( I think its a 'war thing' and his sister and mother were really, really bad. His sister seems to have got a lot less needy of stuff but I think might be going too far in that is giving stuff she loves to friends.

DH hates throwing stuff out. I think its partly to do with loss in their case, but also habit, because their mother also hoarded, So I think they hang on to stuff because she did, and she did because her parents did.


The worst thing about de cluttering is the waste produced, I find it quite depressing how much we throw away ATM. Its scandalous. But had it not accrued it would cut be how it is,

Yorkie1

lostinrates wrote: »

Home. . Tired . Fine.

So pleased to hear how much better it went this time than last time. Sorry to hear you need more tests, but well done on knowing your limits and pacing them out to suit your ability to deal with them.

tomterm8 wrote: »

Few minor changes I have to make to business plan... but, basically, computer says yes.

Kind of unexpected, really.

Hurrah. :j

Yesterday was a really hard day; I've not had one like that for some time. After a listless, apathetic long weekend and a good day with friends on Tuesday, I got into work on Wednesday and promptly burst into tears. Nobody had said anything to me, I didn't have anything specific to do first, I just felt completely overwhelmed by everything and nothing. Managed to pull myself together for most of the rest of the day (just, at times). Then went home, had a healthy tea (it was a 500 cal day). Felt starving, made some muffins (ate 2), and then went to bed and cried myself to sleep.

Today was better but the weepiness is still only just under the surface. I could up my anti-d's but that feels like something I won't reduce later, so I really don't want to unless it becomes inevitable. Today was better but it's no way to live really.

tomterm8

Yorkie1 wrote: »

So pleased to hear how much better it went this time than last time. Sorry to hear you need more tests, but well done on knowing your limits and pacing them out to suit your ability to deal with them.



Then went home, had a healthy tea (it was a 500 cal day). Felt starving, made some muffins (ate 2), and then went to bed and cried myself to sleep.

That sounds very hard. I hope you feel better soon....

Now, I hope you don't take this the wrong way but it sounds like you are on a 5:2 or alternate day fast. In general insulin controlled diabetes, a history of eating disorders, or current mental illness especially depression are all considered contraindications for fasting diets.

I'm on a fasting diet. They are good for me, but there are other ways to lose weight that might not make you feel as bad.

Yorkie1

Thanks tt - didn't know that about them. Will look into that more. The depression is actually anxiety; when I'm overloaded - or have been and coming back out from that pressure - then I present as more depressed.

PasturesNew

If I don't have a little cry most days .... I'd think there was something wrong.

I'm not down, or depressed, or sad.... it's just there are lots of sad things around and it's good to let it out

Then have a cig ......

I guess mine are more "oh, that was a sad thought/thing" cries, rather than an "I'm doomed/isn't life !!!!" type ... probably could be likened to somebody watching lots of sad films

michaels

lostinrates wrote: »

Home. . Tired . Fine.

Those three little words we all wanted to hear.

lostinrates wrote: »

I am extremely wary of lovers who won't eat oysters.

Fwiw, I love oysters. They are filling, healthy, delicious and low cal. An amazing supper and very waistline friendly, oysters and a glass of champagne. For me lemon and green Tabasco.

Lots of things don't look good but are. I mean, gentalia is hardly 'pretty' but I wouldn't be without it,


( a step too far?)

Whats the difference between muff diving and driving in fog?
When you are driving in fog you can't see the **** in front.
(a step further?)


I think there were other things today I wanted to reply too but too late now.

TT8 congrats, when you are rich and famous we will all be able to say we knew you when it all started.
Chewey good news I hear TFL are also planning to move to Stratford Business Park so you can be sure that it will always be readily accessible even on strike days as St James Park is for me at the moment.
Hoarding - DW has done a good few sacks of kids shoes and clothes this week but she and they are already terrible hoarders completely unwilling to give up anything so I am not sure that it is an unusual condition.

Nikkster

Sorry to hear you've been having some tough days Yorkie. Hope things feel easier soon.

LydiaJ

Doozergirl wrote: »

Thanks Lydia, I'm sad for your DD, it's good that you've recognised it and that there is hope to fix it. My best friend's mum has this problem and it's a debilitating mental illness at its worst. We bought a house that belonged to a compulsive hoarder. Doozer managed to take 25 bins bags of brand new clothes, still in packaging, to charity shops before he got bored and it started going in skips with everything else. It cost £5000 to empty.

My D is just allergic to cleaning and clearing. Doozer puts things in strange places and then it all starts to spiral, quite quickly and then stays that way for ages. It doesn't help that I am not particularly motivated to improve the general standard in here until more is finished.

This week, a layer of topsoil (read Clay) was dumped on the front. It is only supposed to be either side of front path but it is EVERYWHERE. Brick path is needed immediately.

Thank you. I do feel for you with the clay everywhere. And the lack of motivation. I have that too, for reasons I've discussed before.

lostinrates wrote: »

I am happy for her. The de cluttering thing is presumably something she would need to feel not out of control over.

Have you read any of the hoarders thread? Was a great help to us. Incidentally dh's family are all minor hoarders ( I think its a 'war thing' and his sister and mother were really, really bad. His sister seems to have got a lot less needy of stuff but I think might be going too far in that is giving stuff she loves to friends.

DH hates throwing stuff out. I think its partly to do with loss in their case, but also habit, because their mother also hoarded, So I think they hang on to stuff because she did, and she did because her parents did.

The worst thing about de cluttering is the waste produced, I find it quite depressing how much we throw away ATM. Its scandalous. But had it not accrued it would cut be how it is,

Thank you too. My dad holds onto too much stuff because he hates waste. But he is only a hoarder in a colloquial sense, not a clinical sense, I think.

I have tendencies in that direction myself, but I find I am getting much better now that I have the prospect of getting that compensation money and paying off my "mortgage" etc. For me, hanging onto stuff in case it might be useful is part of scrimping, and to the extent that I can relax the scrimping a bit, I can let go of more stuff. It's having the confidence that there will be no problem buying what I need in the future, so I do not need to hang onto broken things, for example, in case I need them desperately enough to get round to mending them.

In DD it's definitely pathological, and will be crippling when she's no longer under my roof unless she gets help. As it is, she is sleeping in the spare room because her own is impassable. (I am following the example of the people on THND and not forcing her to get rid of stuff that she's not ready to. However, I'm not letting her fill up the spare room. If she accumulates stuff in there, I just put it in boxes and put the boxes in her original bedroom, which she's happy with.)

I was hugely struck by the contrast between The Hoarder Next Door and another documentary I watched where some adult children were trying to help their mother with her hoard. The people on THND get psychotherapy for the underlying trauma and really do seem to make significant progress with their emotions towards their stuff, and to become able to choose to let go of things without a fight. The mother on the other programme did seek help. She saw some psychologists who told her that it wasn't in the DSM-IV so nobody had done any research on it, so they therefore didn't know how to treat it and couldn't help her. She did eventually manage to get rid of a little of her hoard, but you could see that it was largely under duress from her kids, and her problematic feelings about it were unchanged.

Now that the new DSM has come out (DSM-V) last year, the disorder is now recognised, but I'm very conscious that most therapists will still have no experience of treating it, which is why I want DD to be seen by somebody with a proven track record of success, and why I was so happy when the psychologist assessing her was quick to pick up on the idea that she could see the man from THND when I tentatively dropped it into the conversation.

Doozergirl

As long as you don't beat yourself up about not being okay, Yorkie, it will be okay.

I've procrastinated over something that I should just bite the bullet on and I can feel myself grimacing and face rubbing over it. It's not even that important, I just don't want to speak to the person and say 'no'. Hiding makes the anxiety happen.