Nice People Thread Number 11 - A Treasury of Nice People

PasturesNew

I downloaded the title document/plan from Land Registry .... doesn't say anything except that there are covenants, but not what sort etc. So really no further forward.

The plan shows more land than I expected contained in the red line - but it also said the line can't be trusted ... so really no further forward.

So I am £6 down and know nothing new/different

tomterm8

Generali wrote: »

I have an ideological objection to private schools too.

I don't have an ideological objection to private schools - and that's as someone who comes far closer to socialism than you do!

What I want isn't a society that's fair. I want a society that guarantees the basic tools necessary for a good quality of life to everyone - things like good education, good health care, basic healthy food and shelter and heating - but I also want a society where people can strive to better themselves and their offspring. I don't want a society that's 'Fair' in terms of everyone having the same things which is what the word seems to mean these days.

The problem with state schools is that any huge system isn't going to work for everyone; there will be people who have difficulties settling into 'standard' schools and a backup system of private education is a good way to help those people.

Generali

michaels wrote: »

If the most motivated parents take their kids out of the state system not o my does it mean that their kids dont grow up in the real world but it also makes the state school.worse for those who are left behind. Do you decline to have your kids vaccinated because they can benefit from the beard immunity whilst not suffering the individual risk?

I also don't want to push them to try to reach further than they comfortably can and then spend their lives feeling like failures because they haven't met all their parents aspirations.

I vaccinate my kids because I think it's the best thing for them and for society.

I have been active in the volunteer sector despite working punishing hours in stressful jobs because I think it's the right thing to do.

When it comes to my kids, I will do whatever I can to give them the best outcomes they can have. If The Girl wants to be an actress (heaven forbid), I will do my best to get her into the best acting school. If The Boy wants to be a soccer player I'll spend hours kicking a ball around with him.

If other aspiring actresses don't get to act with my very talented Girl or wannabe soccerists don't get nutmegged by my fantastic Boy then, frankly, I don't really care. If life is fair I'll live by the fair rules. If it isn't then I'll do everything I can to push the kids up the ladder. What they do from there is up to them.

They get to choose the ladder they go up. I'll buy them the tallest ladder I can afford.

Nikkster

PasturesNew wrote: »

So I am £6 down and know nothing new/different

Small fry compared to upcoming expenses

Masomnia

michaels wrote: »

I also don't want to push them to try to reach further than they comfortably can and then spend their lives feeling like failures because they haven't met all their parents aspirations.

It's tricky, my parents didn't push me at all. Never did any sports, never played any musical instruments as a kid. Never put me under pressure to do better at school, or get good jobs, anything. It really didn't do me any good at all, and I think I'll push my kids a lot harder than my parents pushed me.

It's not that they didn't care. Gen used a great phrase at one point about seeing yourself as a passenger in life, and I think that's how my parents see things; certainly their parents did.

Doozergirl

michaels wrote: »

If the most motivated parents take their kids out of the state system not only does it mean that their kids dont grow up in the real world but it also makes the state school.worse for those who are left behind. Do you decline to have your kids vaccinated because they can benefit from the beard immunity whilst not suffering the individual risk?

I also don't want to push them to try to reach further than they comfortably can and then spend their lives feeling like failures because they haven't met all their parents aspirations.

My son lives in the real world. He understands and sees how we struggle to put him through his education. If I was satisfied with the state system, he would be there. As it was, he was an invisible child, ticking the boxes and floating for his year at middle school.

He is being taught the value of hard work - it pays. I won't provide him with the deposit for a house. He is also flourishing in sport. He does hours more than he would in the state sector and more variety, as it is, he's turning into an athlete. Every child has something they are good at and they are equally respected by their peers. He has also retained a few years of his childhood - invaluable to me.

I'd love it if we could all come out of the state system having been supported correctly academically and our other, softer talents nutured but it doesn't work like that.

DD will most probably stay in the state sector because she is very bright, has a natural work ethic, is competitive in everything and a bit pretentious. She will make sure that she is noticed.

michaels

PasturesNew wrote: »

Already mentally spending money ..... indian takeaways, kayaking lessons, a couple of short trips where I've been invited for a "free holiday" that (in reality) still costs £300-400 to take up the offers....

My money isn't going on copper bathtubs
It's going on "things I do" ... finally!
I've never done things before with such wild abandon

That is wonderful PN. I am holding of booking the family trip to SA until we have a new tenant signed up. I could learn a lot from you.

Spirit_2

My clock was not ticking when I had DD. I was 27, and the IUD was delivered 20 minutes before she was. I had got as far as 19 weeks before knowing I was pregnant.

Some years later both OH and I then wanted a second child. I miscarried in the early stages and we continued to have fun trying but sadly without another baby coming along. I can say it was a physical ache not having another baby and I still wish we had had more than one child.

One child does not feel enough. Whatever we had by way of personal emotional and financial resources would have been optimised to benefit a bigger family, some of our decisions may have been different and our poor daughter wold not have all our dynastic aspirations vested in her.

Where we want the 'best' for our children I think that has to be balanced with what is best for the family. Gen and Micheals does it feel like a joint decision and joint effort to determine and fund 'the best'?

bugslet

Spirit wrote: »

.
He has a button phobia, and the small handbag I had borrowed from my daughter was covered in mother of pearl buttons. Once it caught his eye he was transfixed.

personally, I rather like buttons and the bag sounds lovely, but if there is a small mobile child around, I am very aware of it all the time. If I had a phobia of spiders, people would understand far more.

Masomnia wrote: »

It's tricky, my parents didn't push me at all. Never did any sports, never played any musical instruments as a kid. Never put me under pressure to do better at school, or get good jobs, anything. It really didn't do me any good at all, and I think I'll push my kids a lot harder than my parents pushed me.

It's not that they didn't care. Gen used a great phrase at one point about seeing yourself as a passenger in life, and I think that's how my parents see things; certainly their parents did.

We had similar parents! They did struggle financially to put me into a fee paying school, we were very poor as a family. Oddly, I never remember any pressure being put on me, though I tend to react badly to external pressure, so probably it was for the best. We would never have had a chance to pay for music or dance lessons!

Generali

The Exorcist is on the TV over here. What a movie!

They don't make them like that any more.