Bitterness

stormbreaker

Deep rooted, ingrained and ugly against my mother and siblings....getting worse!

Anyone been here and moved on without cutting ties?

thorsoak

If it's that deep-rooted and ingrained - just cut the ties and move on.

stormbreaker

Thanks but it is not in my nature. Thats a huge part of the problem, I am a support(well used) but they are not and never have been for me or my family. My mother is now elderly and one of my siblings has mental health issues and has been residing with my mother for some time now. Although there has beena lot of progress there and they hopefully will be moving back to indepedent living sometime....this year!

System

thorsoak wrote: »

If it's that deep-rooted and ingrained - just cut the ties and move on.

It isn't as easy as that.

Artytarty

Somehow you need to forgive them for their behaviour. It's easier to do when you realise that it is a gift to yourself, forgiving. You :money:deserve to be able to, they won't even know probably but it will give you enormous relief.

victory

stormbreaker wrote: »

Thanks but it is not in my nature. Thats a huge part of the problem, I am a support(well used) but they are not and never have been for me or my family. My mother is now elderly and one of my siblings has mental health issues and has been residing with my mother for some time now. Although there has beena lot of progress there and they hopefully will be moving back to indepedent living sometime....this year!

See the thing is with bitterness, it comes with heavy emotional baggage and intertwined with every other emotion that makes it impossible to stay positive.

It has been going on for so long, it is deep rooted and communication could have solved it many moons ago but fear of confrontation or a need to be loved or just plain wanting an easy life have stopped the true mechanics of a mother/daughter relationship.

Once it goes on for so long and does not get properly addressed it is almost accepted and neither wants to change, the damage has been done and far too deep to deal with.

victory

stormbreaker wrote: »

Deep rooted, ingrained and ugly against my mother and siblings....getting worse!

Anyone been here and moved on without cutting ties?

Also that kind of negative emotion plays heavy on your heart and in your mental state, it can destroy you, it errodes away the good and takes on a dark side, people around you notice and start moving away from you, no one wants to be around a person that is so negative and does not radiate positivity, it brings you to your knees.

Best thing to do is communicate, if that is not possible anymore, counselling, CBT, learn to manage it, to forgive, to see any positive light if there is any, to not let it consume you, you are better than that, you deserve a more peaceful, happy existence than the one you have now, learn to let go.

stormbreaker

victory you have hit the nail on the head. I have held my tongue for far too long, now I feel it is too late.

If I was to say anything now it would only cause me major grief and not resolve matters.

I would love to move on, forgive and forget, I truly have no real worries in my life, I am very fortunate in many areas and for that I am grateful.

stormbreaker

victory wrote: »

it can destroy you, it errodes away the good and takes on a dark side

I can relate very heavily with this. Excuse my ignorance but what is CBT?

harrys_nan

http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/Cognitive-behavioural-therapy/Pages/Introduction.aspx

CBT
Have a read of this, I hope it helps. I think your first port of call would be your doctor.
Please look after yourself x

System

I do!


It plays on my mind sometimes but then usually I don't give any of it a second thought. The issue is that I am the issue in the family but they are fine with seeing my kids once a week so I can't really break ties completely. I wish I could though!