Such further or other contact as may be agreed between the parties

brenda10

Bej84 wrote: »

Thanks guy

The judge ordered every other weekend contact. Holidays abroad and christmas birthdays was mentioned by both parties but the judge said she felt Ms xx and Mr xx could sort this amongst their selves to provide a firm routine for the child. The judge said she trusts Ms xx will be accordant and discuss further contact with Mr Xx

So that is why Such further or other contact as may be agreed between the parties is inserted into the order.

Now if Ms xx refuses any extra contact outside of the every other weekend contact what can Mr xx do?

Whatever specific contact is on the contact order MUST be adhered to strictly by each parent, this cannot be broken, this agreement thing the judge suggests is impossible with some one who is difficult and will not agree to anything!(only do what suits her -ALL ABOUT ME, MYSELF AND I-(no mention of what's best for your child)
Judges should know better but they don't care, they just want the case off their hands and onto the next, a joke when dealing with a control freak who wants to limit your time with your child and doesn't want to mediate and agree things in a normal fashion.

brenda10

Mojisola wrote: »

Whether your ex likes it or not, your wife will be your child's step-mother. She cannot dictate who looks after the child during the time he spends with you.

The way your ex is behaving, I wouldn't be at all surprised if your son would prefer to live with you.

Yes what he does with his child when the child is with him is NONE of her business but she is still trying as she had done through his relationship to control him and threaten him with reduced time if he doesn't do what SHE wants. She cannot stop contact nor interfere when his child is at his home, which is GREAT.
Children grow up and if the contact with Dad remains strong the child may well come to hate what the 'mother' stands for and her interfering ploys.

brenda10

rpc wrote: »

This.

If it cannot be agreed, then Mr xx needs to vary the order to get the contact. I think a judge would expect evidence of a reasonable approach from Mrxx and an unreasonable approach from Msxx.

YES MRX needs to build a body of evidence of his requests refused around these specific issues that were not dealt with because as Mrx said the judge said she trusted Msx would be accordant and discuss further contact.
Ask say for example a few hrs with your child on this years birthday or ask if she spent this years birthday with child, you spend next year, got to be really reasonable way of asking about it things being the good Dad that he is.
If contact order signed by judge says 7 days that means 7 days in summer NO MATTER what Cafcass have recommended, the ORDER is what must be followed.


This may not be sorted out in the shorter term as Mrx has to show over a period of time that he has asked for reasonable requests of time with his child and they are repeatedly refused!!
The judge will see a picture of what this woman is really like and that she is in fact unable to agree to any requests and that she cannot be trusted by the judge to be fair and put her child's interests first.


Build up a body of evidence, be persistent but nice, respectful, keep all sent texts and received texts and document if no answer to request

brenda10

Bej84 wrote: »

Thank you

So far Mr xx has requested:

a visit for a few hours on the child's birthday as she is taking him on a 2 week holiday the next day and Mr xx will not see his son for 28 days
2 over night stays to centre parcs to celebrate christmas December 22-24
1 week holiday abroad june / July
1pm pick up on bank holiday Friday instead of the normal 5pm due to Mr xx not working on the bank holiday Friday

Ms xx refused all the above. Mr xx reminded Ms xx that judge said regarding all holidays and other contact Ms xx should be accordant and discuss further contact but Ms xx responded by saying that what the judge ment by that is that they should discuss more contact but she doesn't have to give it.

Does Mrx not have weekend access or am I mistaken, why then will child be away for 28 days without seeing Father-that is a long time.
Can you ask her if there is any reasons why this would not be suitable, did she give any explanation for why each request you made was not allowed, did she offer you any other times, dates options. keep all info saved that you sent and received for later-THE BIGGER PICTURE for return to court when this has repeated itself over and over again, then as someone suggested you can go back to court for a variance order, it will then show the judge that they need to write down specific things like birthdays/Christmas/ easter/summer holidays etc.

brenda10

Bej84 wrote: »

I also agree 14 days is a long time but if you do not ask you do not get so I had to start at 14 days or I would probably have left with - days!

14 days was a bargaining offer I was very happy with 7 days. I have nothing to compromise as Ms xx simply feels that the clause was added so it could be discussed Ms xx wrote to say that it does not mean she has to give said contact and there for Mr xx and Ms xx should stick to every other weekend and no more

Msx must think she is higher than the judge, she is a nobody in their eyes, she must do as she is told, if certain points are written in black and white on the contact order she will be breaching it if she does not adhere. The thing is she can breach it BUT you can take it back to court and I know that will cost money but if she gets away with this consistently she will do whatever suits. The law is the law and she must adhere.
Mrx has every right to insist the child gets the documented contact with him and not give in to a BULLY.

brenda10

rpc wrote: »

so how does mr xx get his court ordered fortnightly contact if the child is away for two weeks? A 14 day holiday must cover two weekends and one of those will have court ordered contact scheduled.

Breach of a contact order is also grounds to return to court, although consequences can be few.


In writing? You need evidence if this is to get back to court. Write or, if necessary, email. Don't use texts and phone calls as they don't provide the evidence trail.

texts do provide a paper trail-save them in case phone is lost/broken

brenda10

Bej84 wrote: »

Ms xx has decided to relocate 107 miles away and was not able to commit to a rigid contact plan so Mr xx applied to the court and that's where the order was granted last month.

The order literally just states every other
Friday - Sunday
Such further or other contact may be agreed between the parties
Half way meets between X & X 50 miles away

Ms xx booked her holiday in December so Mr xx can't do anything about that can he? Mr xx

so Example Mr xx will see his son august 19- 21st then Ms xx is going on holiday aug 27th- September 10th. September 10th would be Mr xx next contact but that's they day they arrive from holiday and as there is a 107 mike distance the next weekend would make it 28 days since Mr xx saw his son





All communication between Mr xx & Ms xx is done via email

She used the moving far away as a ploy to fool the judge etc, rigid contact order, what was her problem, nothing just pure vile using this as a lame excuse for getting out of strict contact guidelines.

Did she plan this holiday after the contact order? If so this was deliberate.
If the order states every other Friday to Sunday that means exactly that, no matter what holidays she books she must work around your contact with your son, otherwise she informs you and she agrees to alternative and that equal time with your child over the next weekend. In future inform her that she must not arrange any holidays over your said contact time with your son and explain the reasons...because I feel it is important for my son to see his father to ensure a strong loving bond.
Mrx I would be going to collect your child on sept 10th and if it is later than usual agree that you have your son spend extra hours on some other weekend. 50 miles is not too bad to travel so it is important that Mrx also keeps his contact with his son because she will document and use it against him. find out what time the handover will be at, document it and be there, it will be worth if for your son will be glad to see father.
You need to ensure that you find out all handover details of time Mrx-for your own sake.
I would know you are a thoughtful Father who is thinking your child will be tired on return from holiday and you may agree to not having your child for that reason over that weekend BUT be careful as it may be a ploy by her, she is thinking about herself and not your child, too bad if she is tired from her journey and then having to travel 50 miles plus, so have you, your son will be excited to see you and needs escapism from her, it will help remind her the next time that it is your time and your contact as per contact order ordered by the judge to be adhered to by her.

Bej84

brenda10 wrote: »

Does Mrx not have weekend access or am I mistaken, why then will child be away for 28 days without seeing Father-that is a long time.
Can you ask her if there is any reasons why this would not be suitable, did she give any explanation for why each request you made was not allowed, did she offer you any other times, dates options. keep all info saved that you sent and received for later-THE BIGGER PICTURE for return to court when this has repeated itself over and over again, then as someone suggested you can go back to court for a variance order, it will then show the judge that they need to write down specific things like birthdays/Christmas/ easter/summer holidays etc.

My son will be away because she is taking him on a 15 day holiday so I will miss my weekend with him

The contact was refused because "it's to soon to discuss" the judge said that we must not plan things to in advance BUT that was in response to ms x asking for a contact order of every other Friday-Sunday until 2017 because our son is to young to be away from her the judge said no because out son will not be 4 forever and that ms x is getting ahead of herself now she is using the don't plan in advance as an excuse to refuse my contact I ask for.

Bej84

brenda10 wrote: »

She used the moving far away as a ploy to fool the judge etc, rigid contact order, what was her problem, nothing just pure vile using this as a lame excuse for getting out of strict contact guidelines.

Did she plan this holiday after the contact order? If so this was deliberate.
If the order states every other Friday to Sunday that means exactly that, no matter what holidays she books she must work around your contact with your son, otherwise she informs you and she agrees to alternative and that equal time with your child over the next weekend. In future inform her that she must not arrange any holidays over your said contact time with your son and explain the reasons...because I feel it is important for my son to see his father to ensure a strong loving bond.
Mrx I would be going to collect your child on sept 10th and if it is later than usual agree that you have your son spend extra hours on some other weekend. 50 miles is not too bad to travel so it is important that Mrx also keeps his contact with his son because she will document and use it against him. find out what time the handover will be at, document it and be there, it will be worth if for your son will be glad to see father.
You need to ensure that you find out all handover details of time Mrx-for your own sake.
I would know you are a thoughtful Father who is thinking your child will be tired on return from holiday and you may agree to not having your child for that reason over that weekend BUT be careful as it may be a ploy by her, she is thinking about herself and not your child, too bad if she is tired from her journey and then having to travel 50 miles plus, so have you, your son will be excited to see you and needs escapism from her, it will help remind her the next time that it is your time and your contact as per contact order ordered by the judge to be adhered to by her.

I informed Ms x by email that I had to serve her with court papers she was refusing to see me to make it difficult for me to serve her after I told her I would put them in her letter box she replied informing me about the holiday so it wasn't booked after I fact it's probably not booked at all it wouldn't surprise me

brenda10

Bej84 wrote: »

I informed Ms x by email that I had to serve her with court papers she was refusing to see me to make it difficult for me to serve her after I told her I would put them in her letter box she replied informing me about the holiday so it wasn't booked after I fact it's probably not booked at all it wouldn't surprise me

This is the way these type of controllers act, like they are ENTITLED, they never grow up and act like adults, they are a child in an adults body.
Stand firm and don't let her bully you, your son needs you in his life with a freak of a so called mother like this!!