Such further or other contact as may be agreed between the parties

Mojisola

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

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Have you tried talking about this face to face?

Email can be such a cold way of communicating and it is much harder to have a proper discussion that way.

It's good to have everything in writing so, even if she would agree to talk (face to face or on the phone), follow it up with an email saying "Today we discussed this and that and we agreed that X and Y should happen."

Bej84

Mojisola wrote: »

It's good to have everything in writing so, even if she would agree to talk (face to face or on the phone), follow it up with an email saying "Today we discussed this and that and we agreed that X and Y should happen."

I have done this in the past and Ms xx says she doesn't like my constant need to keep confirming everything but I will continue to do this. It's early days il hoping very much that this can be worked out but if the saying start as you mean to go on! Means anything I might be at a loss. Hopefully not!

Bej84

Is there anyway to get an emergency hearing within a day? How would I go about it? Ms xx had just contacted me and has said that as the judge did not verbally state when the Friday-Sunday contact should start that she will not be allowing me my so this Friday instead out old agreement of Saturday-Sunday and I can have him Friday-Sunday when she moves. She does not have a moving date so can not tell me when she's moving.

Gigglepig

Bej84 wrote: »

Is there anyway to get an emergency hearing within a day? How would I go about it? Ms xx had just contacted me and has said that as the judge did not verbally state when the Friday-Sunday contact should start that she will not be allowing me my so this Friday instead out old agreement of Saturday-Sunday and I can have him Friday-Sunday when she moves. She does not have a moving date so can not tell me when she's moving.

It does not sound like an emergency to me. You still get to see him and this way his routine stays the same (might be good for some 4 year olds)

If you push too much it is not likely to help your relationship with the ex - pick your battles?

GobbledyGook

Gigglepig wrote: »

It does not sound like an emergency to me. You still get to see him and this way his routine stays the same (might be good for some 4 year olds)

If you push too much it is not likely to help your relationship with the ex - pick your battles?

Why should the ex get to over-rule the court?

I'd say it'd be better to get the child used to the longer stays with Dad before the upheaval of moving house. Doing both at the same time would be changing every part of his routine at once. Although you won't get an emergency hearing over it as she's not refusing access at all.


Ms Xx does sound like one of the parents who needs a good talking too from a judge about how the contact should be done for the child's best interests - not in how it suits her.

Gigglepig

Not saying ex should get to overrule court just that it does not sound like an "7emergency hearing within a day" is called for. If needed op can return to court but an emergency hearing before this weekend sounds well ott to me.

hippihaz

doubt you would be able to get an emergency hearing for it, however from the date the order was set you have a certain amount of time (usually several weeks) to appeal it. We have just finished going to court for the 3rd time (lo is now in year 6), and the order, despite all previous orders needing very specific clarification and this being made clear to the court, when the new order arrived it was very wishy washy and had the 'all other contact to be at request of child and agreed by both parents' which was useless, so we went through appeal (date usually comes through within 4-6 weeks) on the grounds that the order was effectively useless and would mean lo wouldnt get the routine and consistency he was used to as the mother would withhold contact at her choice, unless it was all specified.
If you are out of the appeal window, its a bit more difficult, whether to wait or not. You probably need to gather a bit of evidence that this is consistent and that plans for holidays, time with child etc are being cancelled/put off which is causing inconsistency for the child. Keep all evidence you can, eg emails/texts. Any phone calls where she says you can have a certain date etc, send an email or letter to say 'just confirming our phone call on this date that says I can have child on this date', so she can not use the defense of 'you never told me this' or 'I forgot'. Also offer to her to go to mediation or formally (eg with letter) ask her to meet to discuss holidays or whatever else isnt in the court order, as this will be asked in court and you will be able to say that she isnt amenable to any mediation and will give you grounds for application. Hope that helps a bit....

mum2one

Whilst I can see where your coming from in terms of trying to make arrangements - the section of the court order - means you both need to agree, at the moment you yes may have made 4 geuniue requests - but flip the coin and this could be seen as harresment to the mother.

Family courts do tend to take a strong view of cafcass reports as a basis of their court order.

I can see where you are coming from in terms of wanting to get plans sorted but you really need to take a step back and do it by the book

eg - call to make arrangements - follow up with an email to say just confirming the arrangements made on the phone.

As for visits - use your visits for time for your son.

If you could go for a 6 month period and of this shows that your contact is not being met, then this will show it is not a one off incident and that x,y,z has happened - the question is what do you want out of this, - obviously the weekends etc - but are you looking for custody?

You say she has a solicitor - is she paying as the law changed regarding solicitors and representation, there are few and far between that legal aid pay.

brenda10

Bej84 wrote: »

Hey guys

Please can someone in laymen's terms explain the meaning of

Such further or other contact as may be agreed between the parties.

This is regarding a contact order my ex and I have for our child. I'm 99% certain I know exactly what it means but before I argue it I want to make sure I'm correct

Thanks in advance

Anything that can be agreed by both of you that you are both happy with, have you got a difficult partner who is out for revenge or are you that partner, IF you can both agree it is better BUT not always possible with difficult other half when they feel they are on the battle field and want to dig their heels in. Good Luck, hope your child is well. Big Hug, not an easy path.x

brenda10

Bej84 wrote: »

Thank you

So far Mr xx has requested:

a visit for a few hours on the child's birthday as she is taking him on a 2 week holiday the next day and Mr xx will not see his son for 28 days
2 over night stays to centre parcs to celebrate christmas December 22-24
1 week holiday abroad june / July
1pm pick up on bank holiday Friday instead of the normal 5pm due to Mr xx not working on the bank holiday Friday

Ms xx refused all the above. Mr xx reminded Ms xx that judge said regarding all holidays and other contact Ms xx should be accordant and discuss further contact but Ms xx responded by saying that what the judge ment by that is that they should discuss more contact but she doesn't have to give it.

A contact order states exact contact.
Usually the judge adds this clause of bog standard nonsense of
'if parents can mediate or agree among themselves' then extra contact with the child could be obtained.
There are problems with this wording as it all boils down to either parent agreeing.
Mother may want to control and limit contact with father out of
spite,
hatred,
power & control feeling,
punishment etc
or
that she feels there may be a risk to child
we do not know what kind of person either father or mother are so it is difficult.
Father can return to court and ask for more contact but this is very costly and as the child is young this may be disallowed.
It seems to me having had a family member in this same position that these are not unreasonable requests for time with ones child but what kind of parent are either of you? we don't know. A mother would if taken to court maybe have to prove why you should NOT be allowed extra contact BUT this is costly going this length, it can be done though, my good brother has got 50/50 even though the horrid mother of his child tried her best to ask for 5/2, the CAFFCASS officer's word is usually what the judge listens to, it is all about money. if you have a difficult partner like was in our family it is a challenge but they are often seen through as their motives are not all about the child/father relationship nurturing but cutting a good father out of a child's life. Good Luck.