Wife fixated on moving to area because of a school.

Katem

Schools change massively over time:
- different staff
- different catchment (school catchment does change occasionally)
- different abilities of children

Children change massively over time:

Parents are the best teachers a child can have. You can instil the love of learning in her and consolidate what she's been taught with out of school activities.

At the end of the day, they all teach the National Curriculum so are much of a muchness to a certain extent. Some schools have better facilities, yes, but they all get taught the same, and you find excellent, committed, enthusiastic teachers in all schools.

A bright child will thrive anywhere.

Interestingly, my children have all gone to the local "outstanding school" (primary) with excellent facilities, with a catchment of children who are very privileged and have everything money can buy etc. We did extra curricular activities in a much less well off area, with schools which weren't deemed as good by Ofsted and hadn't such good facilities. In my experience the children were FAR nicer than those in my own area, a whole lot less "grabbing" and "entitled" and altogether more friendly (as were the parents tbh!)

If your daughter is happy at school, then that's all you can ask for. And I believe that if she's happy, she will do everything to the best of her ability.

Mojisola

As well as the quality of the school changing, so can admissions policy.

Imagine spending loads more on a house near a good school only for your child not to get in -
https://www.telegraph.co.uk/education/10656101/Surge-in-admissions-lotteries-threatens-childrens-right-to-place-at-local-school.html

MallyGirl

we bought our house in the catchment for the outstanding comp - and paid heavily for the privilege. I still love the house and don't regret it but in the last 2 years they have changed the catchment so we would no longer get a place for my DD and then she qualified for grammar school anyway. Certainly aim for a primary school you both agree on but so much can happen by secondary it is much more of an uncertain path.

jackyann

The worst situation, I think, is that a parent fixates so much on a school, that if the child doesn't get in, they feel a failure, and then it's a self-fulfilling prophecy.

I wonder if you grew up in the same area. I get the impression that your wife has this strong attachment to her old school, but that you can't easily counter this.

Do you talk about your different education experiences & how you feel thy have affected your lives?

FBaby

I also think it could put quite some pressure on the child to do well because after all their parents have sacrificed on a bigger/nicer house so they could go to this school and do better/be happier.

ska_lover

I dislike the idea of moving to an area specifically to go to a certain state ran school.

It is just pure snobbery and an opportunity for certain regular people to make themselves feel superior to other regular people, to obtain a better crack at the whip at what is a free for all service. It is cheating the system and teaches your kids a not very nice message that ''Money talks'' and gets you what you want in life.

If people have the funds to relocate just to get into (what they consider to be) a better school then why not send your child to a private school, or is there a limit to the amount of funding you are prepared to give your childs education?

[Deleted User]

FBaby wrote: »

I also think it could put quite some pressure on the child to do well because after all their parents have sacrificed on a bigger/nicer house so they could go to this school and do better/be happier.

That's a very good point, anyway my wife wants a second viewing on the house which suits us. She knows its the parents job regards instilling good values and the nearest primary to us does have a Ofsted 1 rating and the second closest comes out top on Good school Guides, we can think about secondary in about 7-8 years time. Thanks for all the comments they are deffo food for thought...

Lily-Rose_3

Deleted_User wrote: »

Ok my wife and I have a 2.5 year old girl. We are currently looking to move to Durham for a family home. My wife wants to be in a certain part of Durham so my girl can go to a certain primary and secondary school. Only thing is this part is very expensive and you do not get much for your money. We have seen somewhere else which is inside the catchment area of these 2 schools but with them being so popular all likelihood is my girl will be going elsewhere. Now that to me is not a problem because who's to say that in 10 years time my wife's choice of secondary is still a good school and also there are a lot of very good & outstanding primaries around where I have seen a nice home. My wife loves the house we have viewed also but has just said " it's lovely but it's not going to let our daughter go to her choice of schools" I really am getting sick of this now I can't seem to get across to her we are talking about 8 years down the line for secondary, and even if she couldn't get in her choice then the alternate secondary is classed as a very good school with very similar scores on exam results etc etc.
I want the right house for us to live in but she is fixated with a certain part just because of 2 schools!
Please help...

Does seem a bit much. There is no guarantee that the schools that are outstanding now, will still be in 9 years! My daughter's school (she started it in 2006 I think,) was one of the worst schools in the county up to the early 2000s and almost got shut down. However, the nearest secondary school next to that one (which was 3 miles away as it was) was 5.5 miles away, and frankly, was not much better.

In 2005, the school became an academy and long story short, someone came in from another very high achieving school, and it improved dramatically within a year. Upshot is that it went from a school that came close to being closed down by OFSTED and came 12th out of only 14 schools, to being number 5 in that list of 14. That was just within 3 years. True story. There's probably no need to move. At least not yet anyway!

honeypop

pollyanna24 wrote: »

But how close do you have to be to guarantee a place at the school? I'm 3 minutes' drive from the school I wanted my girl to go to and we live about 600m away, but she still didn't get in.

I'm 200 metres away from our closest school, and still couldn't get in. You just never know each year how many spaces the sibling intake will use, and how many are left for other children, and how many of those live closer than you.

rach_k

Remember that great Ofsted results don't mean everything!

I'd just say that you'll move again if she still wants LO to go to that particular school in 10 years. I'd imagine things will change so much in that time that she won't be so bothered - you'll all form attachments in the other area, come to appreciate other schools etc... and if she is, the extra cost/stress will be worth it.