Wife fixated on moving to area because of a school.

[Deleted User]

Ok my wife and I have a 2.5 year old girl. We are currently looking to move to Durham for a family home. My wife wants to be in a certain part of Durham so my girl can go to a certain primary and secondary school. Only thing is this part is very expensive and you do not get much for your money. We have seen somewhere else which is inside the catchment area of these 2 schools but with them being so popular all likelihood is my girl will be going elsewhere. Now that to me is not a problem because who's to say that in 10 years time my wife's choice of secondary is still a good school and also there are a lot of very good & outstanding primaries around where I have seen a nice home. My wife loves the house we have viewed also but has just said " it's lovely but it's not going to let our daughter go to her choice of schools" I can't seem to get across to her we are talking about 8 years down the line for secondary, and even if she couldn't get in her choice then the alternate secondary is classed as a very good school with very similar scores on exam results etc etc.
I want the right house for us to live in but she is fixated with a certain part just because of 2 schools!
Please help...

thorsoak

It is important to get your child into the best PRIMARY school that you can find, in order that the basics are firmly set : there is no point in looking at excellent senior schools if she is unable to read, write, know her tables and - most importantly - has instilled in her a love of learning, and confidence in herself - and is happy!

spendingmad

I am sorry but I agree with her. I would sacrifice the size of the house to be in the catchment area of good schools (to an extent - small 3 bed v large 3 bed etc) we have 'fallen out of love' with our house/area but will remain until DD (7) gets into the high school which is the best in the area, and has been for a number of years. We bought a house here because it is the catchment area for best primary and secondary school in the county

You get one chance to give your child the best education you can. You can move to a bigger house in a different area when she is 11 and in the high school which gives her the best start in life.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

So much can change in that length of time - my school has gone from almost exclusively white, middle class to a more representative demographic, all because different people tend to have regular church attendance. We've also attained a specialism that makes us more appropriate for some kids than others - there is another Church School that has moved in a different direction to us and, to some parents and children, that would be the 'better' school - but for others, ours would be the best. With a toddler, you have absolutely no idea how the cute Peppa Pig fan will turn out in that time, so to fixate upon one school now is a bit premature.

Concentrate on a good preschool, nursery and maybe reception place now. Worry about the next step later.

Spendless

I moved into the area of a school I wanted shortly before my eldest's 2nd birthday. Knowing the area well I was aware that though the Secondary could go downhill in the interim years, it wasn't likely to be as dire as some of the others in the town.

Check the admission criteria though. If siblings is high on the list and you get a bumper year of kids with older brothers and sisters then there may not be many catchment kids admitted. Where I live catchment is the first main criteria so this wasn't an issue for me.

[Deleted User]

The thing is though that around this house we are looking at there is 2 primaries that are both outstanding by Ofsted, yet she still keeps saying "it's not this other primary but" even though they are excellent primaries...

FBaby

I'm totally with you. What a waste missing out on a nice house, where you and of course your child will spend the vast majority of their time over a fixation that one school is bound to make your child much happier and cleverer than the local one. In addition, as you've said, schools reputation can change very quickly as so much is dependent on Headteachers. It is the case in my town. The worse secondary school with the worse reputation, the one school that everyone would have done everything to avoid ended up to be the top one in town after 5 years. Today, parents even from 1/2 hour away are trying everything to their kids in the school. It really is quite ironic!

Unfortunately, your wife is entitled to her point of view. My only advice would be to try to gain as much evidence as possible, look at previous performance, go and visits the school, and visits homes close to the school she wants and cross your fingers that she realises that it is not worth it.

jackyann

Totally agree that schools change over time.
Why is your wife so anxious - does she feel that she missed out on education?
Choose the nicest house in the pleasantest area you can afford, where you will be happy living, as far as you can tell at the moment.
Encourage your daughter to be curious & lively, talk to her, give her lots of good experiences - that will stand her in good stead.
Home trumps school any way you look at it.

[Deleted User]

My wife had a great education at her Secondary School which she would like our girl to go too. The problem is the homes around her choice of school are very small and in my eyes nothing that we are after. I think the home is the priority and there are outstanding schools located there where my daughter could go, but like we are saying secondary is 8.5 years away!

tom9980

The thing that makes the biggest difference to a child's education is the parents in my view. The kids who make really good progress tend to be those with parents who take an active interest and work with the teachers to provide their children with a good education.

If you look at the best school in the cluster in this area which is outstanding and track back in 2008 it was barely satisfactory, two years later it was outstanding because the head changed. This kind of thing happens a lot so you would be mad to plan on a school being outstanding in 8-9 years time.

More importantly what if the outstanding school is not the right environment for your child it was for one of my cousins but it was not for his younger brother, in fact it was horrendous. The school did everything to blame his parents and him and completely overlooked that he had a undiagnosed SEN which they failed to spot despite prods that something was wrong.

Teaching turnover is high for many reasons, long hours, low pay, increasing responsibilities, endless paperwork, government meddling and public perception cause teachers to leave. It is highly likely that many staff will have left in 9 years and who is to know how good the new staff members will be.

We are moving, my wife is a teacher schools were low on the list when deciding which house to buy. We were more interested in the intake of children than Ofsted reports.

balletshoes

show your wife this thread OP, at the very least it will show her that your opinion is shared by others.