Wife fixated on moving to area because of a school.

Seanymph

In the five years mine were at secondary it changed beyond measure - two heads in short succession, a change from blazers and shirts to to shirts and fleeces - and a specialism change from languages to sports.

That can happen to ANY school in five years. (Not to mention the new academy status they are pushing so hard!).

Good kids will thrive in any school. But the schools you are looking at now may not be there in 8 years time.

When we moved we had the choice of two primaries - I chose the one in special measures. It 'felt' nicer. I was a governor in that school eventually, and clerk to Governors in the other - and I do not have one moments regret - I made the right choice for my girls.

They are both now in years 1 and 2 of degrees, they had an awesome educational journey (with a few blips) - and they are happy and settled. You can't ask for more than that.

The home life is the MOST important thing for education. And the involvement of parents.

I would not buy on future catchment. (and in lots of areas school figures are going down - so criteria are being more relaxed).

rpc

Deleted_User wrote: »

My wife wants to be in a certain part of Durham so my girl can go to a certain primary and secondary school. Only thing is this part is very expensive and you do not get much for your money.

The two are likely linked if the schools have good reputations.

In Scotland, catchment area is everything when it comes to school admissions and you often find house prices higher within the catchments of good schools. This system has been in place for ages and the good schools are still good, while the poorer schools are still poorer (albeit perhaps better than they were).

securityguy

Seanymph wrote: »

In the five years mine were at secondary it changed beyond measure - two heads in short succession, a change from blazers and shirts to to shirts and fleeces - and a specialism change from languages to sports..

Buying houses ten years in advance in madness.

One of our local comps, previously outstanding and visited by Prime Ministers and Education Secretaries of both political hues as an example to follow, is now in special measures and, looking at its results, properly so.

My brother's local comp has been through catchment, random and fair-banding oversubscription criteria in the space of less than ten years.

To buy a house on the assumption that in ten years the school will still be good and the admission criterion will still be distance is brave, to put it mildly.

tomtontom

Deleted_User wrote: »

The problem is the homes around her choice if school are very small and in my eyes nothing that we are after. I think the home is the priority and there are outstanding schools located there where my daughter could go, but like we are saying secondary is 8.5 years away!

It sounds to me that the school is not the main issue, but there is something else she is trying to avoid discussing with you. You need an honest chat with each other - are you sure that she wants to move at all?

duchy

Sounds like she feels education is very important and that (she feels) you don't give it the same priority and to you a nicer house is a higher priority. Not saying it is as black and white as that and you maybe are feeling pressured that she has an expectation you should provide better ? For a lot of people a two bedroom v a three -or terrace v semi or detatched IS worth it for a superior school.
The reality is until you move and get to know both schools more intimately you won't know which is right for YOUR family. My son went to a school that had the same headmaster for years -which was great til he got older and frankly a bit past it and the school went from excellent to failing -a new headmaster brought the school back on top but lots of parents at other schools remembered the period of failing and judged the school accordingly...... your wife might be doing that if it's her home area or she has contacts in the area who *think* they know both schools.

Is it that you can't afford the desired catchment area or just that the other catchment area has nicer houses for the same money ?

Are you fixated on buying your "forever" house now or could you move and then want to move again later ?

Could more money be released for the house if your wife went back to work or went part-time to fulltime ?

Somewhere there will be a compromise - but whilst she thinks the size of the house matters more to you than (what she sees as) the best education for your daughter you're both going to get nowhere in finding the compromise needed.

peachyprice

Have you asked her why she is so fixated with these particular schools? Did she go there? Is she feeling under pressure from her friends or family to send your daughter there? Has she heard such wonderful things about the schools that goes over and above any others in the area? Is there a certain amount of snobbery in sending your child there? Does she just like the uniforms? There must be a reason behind why she is so adamant, without knowing that it will be impossible to persuade her otherwise

Perhaps you need to go with her to see the schools in areas that you can afford a nicer home so that she can see for herself that there is little difference.

Another thing you might want to remind her of, is that just because she wants your daughter to go to these schools for whatever reason, that doesn't automatically mean that these schools are the best for your daughter. Different children respond well to different environments, which isn't always necessarily the environment that parents would prefer.

Your daughter's education is the most important thing here, not the whim of your wife. For her to be quite so blinkered is, IMO, very selfish.

warehouse

I'm with the Wife on this one. Education of your Children is everything, and if you have to make hard choices then they need to be made. Trust me on this, when your Daughter is in year 6 and the choice of secondary school is looming, (and it will be on you like a flash), then you will absolutely wish you had acted now to get her into the best one possible.

We also moved to an area with outstanding secondary schools, (it cost us our savings and 7 years later we're only just getting back on our feet financially), and it was bl**dy hard work getting my eldest into our preferred choice, but we got there eventually and now with her GCSE's looming she's predicted A's and B's in every subject and striving hard to make those all A's.

I dread to think what school she would have ended up in had we not acted when we did. Don't fall into that trap of thinking everything will work out because your competition is huge.

peachyprice

warehouse wrote: »

I'm with the Wife on this one. Education of your Children is everything, and if you have to make hard choices then they need to be made. Trust me on this, when your Daughter is in year 6 and the choice of secondary school is looming, (and it will be on you like a flash), then you will absolutely wish you had acted now to get her into the best one possible.

We also moved to an area with outstanding secondary schools, (it cost us our savings and 7 years later we're only just getting back on our feet financially), and it was bl**dy hard work getting my eldest into our preferred choice, but we got there eventually and now with her GCSE's looming she's predicted A's and B's in every subject and striving hard to make those all A's.

I dread to think what school she would have ended up in had we not acted when we did. Don't fall into that trap of thinking everything will work out because your competition is huge.

But OP is saying the other schools ARE just as good, he's not expecting her to move to somewhere with terrible schools, but equally good schools, just not THE schools.

warehouse

peachyprice wrote: »

But OP is saying the other schools ARE just as good, he's not expecting her to move to somewhere with terrible schools, but equally good schools, just not THE schools.

I think the OP's wife has done her homework hence being so certain of which schools she wants, which I think is very clever of her. However, there can be no doubt that they need to talk about the issue between them asap.

peachyprice

warehouse wrote: »

I think the OP's wife has done her homework hence being so certain of which schools she wants, which I think is very clever of her. However, there can be no doubt that they need to talk about the issue between them asap.

Where does OP say that is why she wants their daughter to go there?