Relationship advice, any thoughts welcome

duchy

Honestly?
I think you are dissecting every little thing and are looking for problems.
Only you can work out if it is because your relationship has run its course and it's time to end it and move on.............or if as unemployed your self esteem is low and you're letting that impact on your feelings?

If you want him to help you with the research on the Migraines - ask him to sit down with you and research it.....or better still to go to the doctor with you -self diagnosis isn't always a great idea. He's not a mind reader-if you want specific help- tell him !

PuzzledDave

paulineb wrote: »

Dare I say it, the fact that you are out of work may mean that your mood has dipped a bit and are focusing on all the things that you think are wrong, instead of being thankful for the things that are good.

Exactly what I was going to say - except you put it much better :T

To the OP:
It sounds like you wish to test your partner to destruction. Ask for what you want - you have mentioned that he wants you to do this...


Personally, I think Sir Ben has the best advice on relationships, long term or short term:
Hey ho the wind and the rain

Tell me, what have YOU done today ?

Mojisola

chocolate_lover wrote: »

I have tried speaking to him before on numerous occasions, without sounding like I am having a go, just a honest and genuine chat, this always ends up with "Im sorry, now I know" or "next time just tell me".

And does he do things differently after you have told him what upsets you?

chocolate_lover

No of course he doesnt have to do any research, my point is in mentioning this in the first place is that he seems to help others in his family without being asked, it just comes to him! But with me it never the case, I always have to ask. Of course its a little upsetting

chocolate_lover

Mojisola wrote: »

And does he do things differently after you have told him what upsets you?

Not really, and thats me being honest and even my mum mentioned this. He would always say sorry and that he knows now for next time, but then why do i always feel like this when he knows my feelings?

balletshoes

chocolate_lover wrote: »

No of course he doesnt have to do any research, my point is in mentioning this in the first place is that he seems to help others in his family without being asked, it just comes to him! But with me it never the case, I always have to ask. Of course its a little upsetting

maybe he thinks you're perfectly capable of doing it yourself though?

i'm married, and thinking about it, i only do online research for my husband if he asks me to, as i know (and he does) that he can do the research himself. I offer to help my family and friends out with research, i don't see anything wrong with that?

chocolate_lover

Also forgot to mention in my original post so perhaps its more understanding.

He is very jealous of me, if i talk to another guy or even glance anywhere else in a restuarant. Example: i got us both tickets to see Justin Timberlake and told him few days back. His jealousy took over and said he hates him (he dont because he has his music on his ipod), and my eyes should only be for him. It got to a point where he said "i dont think this relationship will last", and this is only over a stupid concert that I wanted me and him to enjoy a good night together he said sorry evetually and did this out of jealousy, but unfortunately this is not the first time we are in a similar situation. I am a very loyal girl to him and would never even think about cheating(as i was cheated in before) so I dont know anymore what to do

paulineb_2

chocolate_lover wrote: »

Also forgot to mention in my original post so perhaps its more understanding.

He is very jealous of me, if i talk to another guy or even glance anywhere else in a restuarant. Example: i got us both tickets to see Justin Timberlake and told him few days back. His jealousy took over and said he hates him (he dont because he has his music on his ipod), and my eyes should only be for him. It got to a point where he said "i dont think this relationship will last", and this is only over a stupid concert that I wanted me and him to enjoy a good night together he said sorry evetually and did this out of jealousy, but unfortunately this is not the first time we are in a similar situation. I am a very loyal girl to him and would never even think about cheating(as i was cheated in before) so I dont know anymore what to do

Thats something you need to sort out or deal with, you've been with him for 4 years, its not a new relationship.

But Im not sure what that has to do with your orginal post. Someone else mentioned it could be you feeling low or the relationship has run its course.

You have choices. You can try and change things, both of you. Or go your separate ways.

Westward_bound

I think a lot of issues in relationships are about different levels of expectation, and the failure to communicate these. Could you sit down as a couple and seriously talk this through so he understands how his actions/lack of actions make you feel? Equally, he may have things he wants to say to you.

poet123

Jealousy can be a positive emotion if channeled, it shows he is still concerned, interested, not detached.

I may be in the minority here but I do think it a bit disrespectful to a partner if the other one has an obsession with a celebrity. I have a friend who loves, loves, Rod Stewart, and some of the things she says when her husband is there I find distasteful. If the boot was on the other foot and her husband was waxing lyrical about Kylie I doubt she would be amused.