Depression Support Thread

ilovegreatdanes

hi all,
bit of a strange day today for me.felt really envious of my ds(13).hes off skool on hols without a care in the world and i felt such a baby...cos i want to be 13 again.fed up of the responsibilities ands the debts, all of which are my own making,and how itll take me 26 years on my present course to pay them off.
am spending money, not huge amounts, iykwim, and dont seem to have anything in the fridge to eat.thank god for the o/d but still have to pay it back when get paid.
sometimes i cant seem to see a light at the end and think if this is it then im stuffed!!!all the pleasure from my life seems to have gone lately and the more i think how cr*p my lifes becoming, it gets worse.
i have loads in the house i could be doing but honestly, i cant be ar*sed.i feel such a lazy, idle c*w at the mo and am so ashamed.
trying to diet, which is going the opposite way, and feel so disgusted cos i look like such a bag lady these days.feel like 74 not 44.nothing fits anymore and i cant bear to look in the mirror.have loads in wardrobe but cant get my head round anything lately.i really hate myself lately and as i dwell on it, things get worse.im sick of putting a brave face on, cos in the end ,it doesnt do any good and ppl think im not serious.
must try to get myself together as its a slippery slope, as we all know.its only this thread that keeps me together, i swear.at least on here, you all understand and theres no smart ar*se saying"pull yourself together"and various other comments that do not help at all....
am now wallowing in self pity and i know its not helping......but its so hard , sometimes to be who i have always been to those close to me.feel like my lifes been an act and am waiting for my real life to start...but all the time ,its passing by and am wasting it when i feel like i shouldbe somewhere else doing something i was destined for.
god im confused, so i bet you all are.hope you get the gist.for all the jokes and stuff are all an act to keep me going.i worry im alittle skitzoprenic(sp?) or just childish???
had to get it off my chest and no doubt, will read it back later and wonder who wrote that lot.....
thanks for reading, guys,...i appreciate it.
love ilgd xx

queensway_boy

Hugs to all ........

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slowlyfading

I'm having the worst day ever. I just can't go on like this, its not right.

Tulip

slowlyfading wrote: »

I'm having the worst day ever. I just can't go on like this, its not right.

Hi SF,

Whats up? Sorry to hear you have had the worst day ever
thinking of you


love and light,

Katie xxx

Tulip

Hi Everyone,

I have had a relaxing day today,enjoyed it at my parents house for lunch,then went to a fete and went on some tombolas where I won more things relaxing this evening now until its bedtime

love and light,

Katie xxx

dawnylou

slowlyfading wrote: »

I'm having the worst day ever. I just can't go on like this, its not right.

Hope you are ok huni x

Tulip

Hi Dawnylou,

How are you? hope you are well

love and light,

Katie xxx

dawnylou

Tulip wrote: »

Hi Dawnylou,

How are you? hope you are well

love and light,

Katie xxx

I am fine thank you.
Can't wait for weekend to have some time off from work!

How about you?

Tulip

dawnylou wrote: »

I am fine thank you.
Can't wait for weekend to have some time off from work!

How about you?

I am fine thanks Dawnylou won some prizes today at a local fete so well chuffed,its been so hot though


love and light,

Katie xxx

Tulip

:hello: Everyone,

well I am off now

Night! Night!

chat tomorrow


love and light,

Katie xxx