Depression Support Thread

whitevanwoman

Hey folks
I'm new to this thread and haven't read it all, just the last few posts, but you seem like the kind of people who would understand. I'm just beginning to pick up out of a bad depressive episode (one good day, three bad days) and starting to make contact with the world again. It started in the last week of Jan when I was made redundant - I was just about beginning to get my finances in order and my income was just about matching my outgoings when it all went pear shaped and I crashed. The last few weeks have been spent in a blur of medication, tears and sleep, and I've totally withdrawn from the world. But I've started to reach out for some help which is a huge step forward for me as that's one of the most difficult things for me to do and I'm now having the odd good day which is a sign of recovery. This isn't new to me, I was first diagnosed with depression in 1994 and since then I've been on a dozen different anti depressants, had various therapies, seen pyschologists and psychiatrists and had a few different diagnoses.
My financial situation is dire - I'm in the process of claiming income support which is a nightmare in itself (they seem to work on the principle that all claimants are potential benefit cheats and so treat you accordingly) but as I have a mortgage I won't get any help towards my housing costs. To be honest, I'm just not even thinking about that at the moment, because I just need to get myself better before I can tackle problems like that. I know its ostrich syndrome but its just too big a problem for me to deal with at the moment. Just filling in the benefit forms is bad enough.
I've also been filling in an application for disability living allowance which I've been advised I might qualify for but I've been told not to be too hopeful as having an episodic health problem might mean that I won't qualify. If anyone has any experience of DLA and mental health and can give me any advice, I'd be grateful.
So if there's anyone out there who wants to be my e-friend, let me know. I'll try not to moan and whinge too much, and when I'm well, apparently I can be good company and good fun.

feelinggood_2

Hi WhiteVanWoman, nice to meet you You are right, this is a friendly and supportive thread. Don't worry about moaning and whinging - if you are down, sometimes it helps to just get it out there. We all have good days and bad days, and you are welcome here wether you are happy or sad.

I currently claim DLA for depression and anxiety. It is possible to qualify, but the forms are notoriously hard to fill in. You could make an appointment at the CAB to get help filling it the forms. Do you have a CPN or OT? They can sometimes help with the forms. There is a lot of advice in the benefits section on DLA and its worth having a read through some of the threads to get an idea. I didn't have a medical for DLA and filled out the forms myself. Just be honest, detailled and thorough, and hopefully it won't be too stressful. Some people advise that you say how your illness affects you on your worst day. I'd do a practise form first. Make sure you think about things like being forgetful, panicking, leaving the oven on and stuff like that.

You are at the right site for help with finances. Make sure you have a good browse around, and ask for help in any of the other sections. I'm no expert on finances, housing or other benefits, so I cannot help with that I'm afraid. I do have a good ear though! There are a few others on here who have some housing/money worries, so you'll have people to talk to whop understand.

Looking forward to getting to know you, post as much or as little as you want. Its quite late, I hope you get some sleep tonight. Take care xx

whitevanwoman

Thanks Feelinggood. I've downloaded the DLA form and been doing it tonight. I have a CPN but sadly not much faith in her, but for the first time ever I've found other sources of support in a Mind Advocate and a Supported Employment adviser, both of whom seem really helpful and friendly, though neither know much about DLA. I have tried to contact my nearest CAB but I live in a rural area and the nearest CAB is 20 miles away and you just have to turn up and wait and hope that you will be seen. As I've hardly left the house for weeks, and going out is a major stressful thing, I was hoping that I would get some practical advice online from people like yourself.
My most recent diagnosis was anxious personality disorder and the DLA form says that it doesn't cover personality disorders, but I'm hoping that I could get it for the depression which is a symptom of the anxiety. I've been told to apply from the point of view of my worst day, as you say, but the difficulty is about the number of days I'm affected - I can be ok for months but then have a bad episode which lasts weeks and during those weeks every day is a "worst day". What I have recently realised though, is how affected I have been for years by both the depression and the medication - I had just assumed that I had a bad memory, and was unreliable, and always late for things, and always stressing about silly little things but having recently done quite alot of internet research, all these things are likely to be caused by either the depression, anxiety and/or medication, so I guess I can put that in.
I suppose I need to give myself a pat on the back for getting this far today - the benefit forms and various other paperwork has sat on the table for several weeks now & I've been avoiding even looking at the pile, never mind tackling it, but today I did, and although there's still lots to sort out, I suppose I'll be one step forward tomorrow.
Thanks for your reply.

Stephb1986_2

morning all!! its FRIDAY whooo!!!

i hope your all ok and you have a great day.

Tulip how was the ice show?

Shaz everything will work out

Steph xxx

Horasio

juno wrote: »

I'm bipolar too, woohoo! There's quite a crowd of us now

I'm gonna be in trouble I didn't tell my daddy about my OU course coz I knew he wouldn't approve. But today some stuff came through the post for it, and they print "OPEN UNIVERSITY EDUCATIONAL MATERIAL" in big letters on the outside. And he was in to get it

I love not drinking. it makes me such a lightweight that one glass gets me nicely tipsy.

I feel angry what I read about your father disapproving of you learning - tell him to get into the 21st century:mad:

Grow some and tell this runt to eff off!!!!!!!!

Horasio

Deleted due to feeling no-one caring and being amongst wolves disguised as lambs

Horasio

Deleted - its a waste of time, no-one has taken the time to talk to me anyway.

shazrobo

morning all, and welcome to whitevanwoman.

as well as having joshua off school today i now have daniel, there was a fire alarm fault in school, and has been going off since 5am, so all the kids are tired and been sent home.

still sat in my pj's going to get a shower and get dressed and do something to keep them occupied
big hugs all
shaz x

Horasio

shazrobo wrote: »

evening all, how is everyone?
hope you have a fantastic night katie

not had a great evening, josh's school rang, to let me know that he had threatened to stab a teacher with a pair of scissors so he is excluded, have to go to a meeting with his headteacher and the police monday morning
shaz x

No wonder you are depressed if your kids are getting into trouble at school.

If my son had done that, he would get the biggest thrashing and punishment going. I don't have much tolerance for badly behaved kids. I agree they should get counselling if they are unhappy tho.

My son used to get it in the neck because he was hyper but never hurt people - why can't teachers deal with kids who are violent? I used to get really annoyed with the teachers blaming us the parents, they have training, parents don't. I detested our son's teachers, especially the primary ones. They would moan about how he behaved with them, he is with you, deal with it (not hitting or shouting at him of course). I would hope to have got some advice and support from them about why he was hyper rather than moaned at. I thought eff you, you're being a b*tch to us why should we care about you.

No-one would dare do that when I was at school, so why do kids do it now?
I don't hold the unhappy at home excuse either, I'm sure there were unhappy kids in my day but you never heard of things like that. If they need counselling, then arrange it.

I am sure you a great mother and you sound to be a nice person but I am going to be blunt here, your kids need to be told to cut out their bad behaviour, it isn't helping you feel any better and you don't want them growing up into anti social hooligans.

shazrobo

CCStar wrote: »

No wonder you are depressed if your kids are getting into trouble at school.

If my son had done that, he would get the biggest thrashing and punishment going. I don't have much tolerance for badly behaved kids. I agree they should get counselling if they are unhappy tho.

My son used to get it in the neck because he was hyper but never hurt people - why can't teachers deal with kids who are violent? I used to get really annoyed with the teachers blaming us the parents, they have training, parents don't. I detested our son's teachers, especially the primary ones. They would moan about how he behaved with them, he is with you, deal with it (not hitting or shouting at him of course). I would hope to have got some advice and support from them about why he was hyper rather than moaned at. I thought eff you, you're being a b*tch to us why should we care about you.

No-one would dare do that when I was at school, so why do kids do it now?
I don't hold the unhappy at home excuse either, I'm sure there were unhappy kids in my day but you never heard of things like that. If they need counselling, then arrange it.

I am sure you a great mother and you sound to be a nice person but I am going to be blunt here, your kids need to be told to cut out their bad behaviour, it isn't helping you feel any better and you don't want them growing up into anti social hooligans.

both sons have severe adhd, and other learning and mental health problems. josh has been arrested in past, but no amount of talking is going to make too much difference to a child who cant take in what is being said. both sons are on high dose medication, and when they got back to the pychiatrist, in march, maybe he will higher their dose again as they have grown so much since last time their meds have been reviewed.
i am not a bad parent, they are not bad kids, both are very polite most of time, but bullying from other kids cos they are different and wont actually fight other kids make them a target.unfortunatly they bottle up there anger til they explode, and usually take it out on an adult, this time their teacher.
both kids have councelling, we have a fairly happy home, i do my best for themj, feeling like a failure now, and getting upset, so i'm going to log off
shaz x