Depression Support Thread

dawnylou

Hi all,
I know I haven't been around for a few days now - but first of all I would like to apologise for my self pitying rants!
I had a terrible start to the week where I couldn't dress and just constantly cried.
I saw my psychologist again on Tuesday, I think this may be coming to an end as at my last session he said something along the lines of how he felt a little helpless at how I was no better. He also said to me that the doctor was obviously useless too when we were talking of how I was now on my third medication as we hadn't found one yet that made me better. Is he trying to make me give up hope??

Anyway since then (with a push from my Fiance!) I went to B&Q on Wed with his parents to get some plants and when I got home I did some housework!!
On Thursday I went on the coffee morning with his Mam and I then went to my Mam's and we went on a little mini shopping trip to get things for our hampers that we are making for upcoming birthdays.
Although we had an accident in Asda and a big pillar candle fell from the shelf as I was crouched down looking at some candles lower down - and it bounced off my knee!! OUCH!!!
It was very sore and I had to hobble a bit and now I have a big bruise!!
Anyway our hairdresser was coming on Friday to give everyone a trim - my Fiance said I should colour my hair and he would pay as it might give me a boost.
I couldn't decide what colour I wanted so I bought 6!!!
On Friday I took my youngest pup to get chipped and then our hairdresser came - I had a fringe cut in and we chose a red colour for my hair. Then we all went to the pub for tea to show it off!! I even put on some new clothes and makeup to surprise my Fiance!!
Yesterday I felt a bit motivated so we walked all the way to the town for some groceries and back, then we walked to the dogs to his Mams, then we went to visit his sister.
Got tired though, and last night was a rough night and I do feel a bit weepy - but maybe suddenly doing so much has taken it out of me a little??
Anyway fingers crossed this will keep up! BUT how do I know if my meds are working - or whether I am just getting better???

meyore
I know what you mean about friends. I have friends but tend not to see them that often as I feel I am not worth their time. Besides a lot of the time I don't feel up to doing stuff with them, and they may visit and I can't even feel like drawing up or continuing a conversation with them!!! Gosh that sounds awful doesn't it?!?
Besides I have my Fiance and I do feel that I don't really need anyone else anyway as everything seems ok when he is there to hold my hand.

I know this might sound awful - but one way to look at it is.....she could have won the jackpot!!!! That could have been a lot worse

I have one of those balls too. The dogs play with it in the garden!!!! lol
Well I can't even stay on the bloody thing!

razorbladekisses
I have been thinking a lot lately and I did wonder if even my cousellor couldn't help then maybe I should look for other treatments in case I do start to feel low again and CBT sounded like it could be so helpful as I seem to have a voice inside of me that is continuosly negative and critical of me and everything I do! What sort of things did you do in that therapy? Did you stop having it because it was too hard to apply to in real life situations?

slowlyfading
Sorry you have been feeling so low again. I hope you have had your wounds cleaned up and that they will heal well.
I know how much worse it can make you feel to be around people who seemingly have not a problem in the world. In fact at my last counselling session as I sat crying we heard a young girl laughing as she went by and he asked how I felt hearing someone laugh like that. It suddenly struck me that it certainly makes me feel even more sad as I would love to be like that. But also (and I know this is terrible and it makes me feel even worse!!) I sort of begrudge people that. I don't see why they should have that when I don't and it makes me a little angry sometimes to see people so happy and carefree whilst I am suffering. Afterall why can't that be me???

cat9586
Thanks - I am hoping I am on the mend now, but I am scared to let myself believe that too much as I do worry a little that from having a few good days I may be in for a huge fall very shortly!!
I think we are actually on the same meds. They do say Lofepramine on the label on the box, but the box says Gamanil or something. How bad is that? I don't eben know what bloody drugs I am taking!!
It's hard not being able to drink! lol, but at the end of the day that in itself could be good for me - less calories, less embarrassing situations, less terrible day afters....

rose07
WOW! How fit are you??? I would have collapsed before I even had the chance to get a score!!

Tulip
Oh I saw Girl Interrupted a long long time ago - can't even remember it, but I do know that I enjoyed it at the time. Maybe I should watch it again! Did you enjoy it?

BizzyBek
That is good news!! About the mental health issue no longer beng around!!

Tiff
Hope the chest is feeling a bit better now.


Sorry to rush off, but I am feeling sleepy now so might grab another hour if possible as we are meant to be going shopping today!

FOR EVERYONE HERE:

Tulip

geminilady wrote: »

Hi Katie:hello: You do lead a busy life no wonder you need a nap some days lol.I got the free lightbulbs too,i love to get all the bargains and read the other boards so i do not miss out.I will be watching casualty myself,apart from that eastenders and corry are about the only things i watch on the tv.I miss corry a lot as i work till 8 and they have stopped doing the omnibus on a sunday.I did watch it last night though as i finish at 7 on Fridays It was so sad i think some of the acting is brilliant and "Jack" did really well.

:hello: GeminiLady,

Hope you are ok great you got the free lightbulbs too I liked Casualty last night

love and light,

Katie xxx

Tulip

:hello: Everyone,

Morning! Hope all is well,I am fine today off to my parents for lunch as always having Roast Turkey,Roast Potatoes,Cabbage,Carrots and for pudding Sponge and custard as its cold weather I am well in myself and getting to bed early most nights as I get so tired and up early in the mornings about 9.30am,so I get enough sleep

*hugs*

Have a lovely day everyone


love and light,

Katie xxx

BigMummaF

Hey Peeps..... yawn......some early birds around then..... s-s-t-r-r-e-e-e-e-t-ch

First may I apologise to Cat about the other night....we had a power cut Again! Seem to be having quite a few lately & it plays havoc with the old alarm clocks:eek: I've got a battery one for back-up, but just don't hear it as well as me radio

Nice to see some regulars making an appearance---just try to keep yourto yourselves please!

Can you tell I'm with QWB.....

Peaceful Minds folks. BMFx

queensway_boy

BigMummaF wrote: »

Hey Peeps..... yawn......some early birds around then..... s-s-t-r-r-e-e-e-e-t-ch

First may I apologise to Cat about the other night....we had a power cut Again! Seem to be having quite a few lately & it plays havoc with the old alarm clocks:eek: I've got a battery one for back-up, but just don't hear it as well as me radio

Nice to see some regulars making an appearance---just try to keep yourto yourselves please!

Can you tell I'm with QWB.....

Peaceful Minds folks. BMFx

.........................................................................:D

BizzyBek

Well I've walked to the shop three times now with no real panic attacks. Am very pleased !

Morning everyone. Mum still in tremendous pain, worse if anything so will get in touch with the doc tomorrow and she about what we can do, stronger painkillers etc.

slowlyfading

razorbladekisses wrote: »

slowlyfading :T hun. You must be really happy with what your tutor had to say. You deserve it you're always working so hard.

Thanks RBK, what a nice thing for you to say. Talking of working, I should be in the library now but I'm not really can't be bothered today, although i will make myself go in a bit.

I am actually really worried about you. Your manager had no right to do that, we have rights to things even if our harms are self inflicted. Although I can sympathise with you - when i was in year 12 at college, I went to the sixth form office as the head of year had summoned me there, and she made me take off my jumper and my bracelets. There was nothing I could do, beause if I refused, she'd know anyway. I took off my jumper and bracelets, and she examined my arms, and I'd NEVER felt so ashamed and violated before. it was horrible, and then all she did was look at me, and then say 'well, that's not normal is it.' and i almost died. So yeah, but having it done at work, and mentioning it to another person you work with is just unaceptable. (hugs) you are more than welcome to PM me anytime you need to vent/chat. Do you have msn? I do, if you want to be added on that or whatever. Keep that chin up, sweetie. xx

poppycracker

Hey guys

ooh i went all leany there!

Good afternoon. how are we today?

I've had a good week. Went to see my friend last Friday, just got away from the complex and the OH and everything else. Makes such a difference.

Bizzybek I hope your mum is ok, its not funny when someone is in so much pain and you don't know what to do. (((hugs))) to you.

RBK, i dont personally think that your manager should be allowed to discuss your personal business with anyone, is there no-one higher up the chain than her that you could talk to?

How are the bites Steph?

Dawny, hope the knee is not so painful today,

Tiff (((((((hugs))))))))) good to see you back, please do try and keep breathing!!!!

CCStar, my OH is just the same and it's driving me up the wall too. I'm seriously thinking of calling it a day here, but it's difficult as he is not well at the moment.

To everyone else, (((((((((((((((((big hugs)))))))))))))) and hope next week will be a good week

PC

slowlyfading

dawnylou wrote: »

slowlyfading
Sorry you have been feeling so low again. I hope you have had your wounds cleaned up and that they will heal well.
I know how much worse it can make you feel to be around people who seemingly have not a problem in the world. In fact at my last counselling session as I sat crying we heard a young girl laughing as she went by and he asked how I felt hearing someone laugh like that. It suddenly struck me that it certainly makes me feel even more sad as I would love to be like that. But also (and I know this is terrible and it makes me feel even worse!!) I sort of begrudge people that. I don't see why they should have that when I don't and it makes me a little angry sometimes to see people so happy and carefree whilst I am suffering. Afterall why can't that be me???

They are healing okay, thanks. You know what, I am jealous of people are just happy all the time. Its pathetic I know, but it makes me jealous, angry and sad that they are just happy without knowing what it feels like to have to physically psyche myself to get out of bed. My friend Lauren at uni is SO happy all the time, she genuinely has nothing that she is unhappy about - she has a gorgeous figure, and thinks so herself, she's always really happy and nothing bothers her, ever. and i'm just like 'why cant i be like that?' and i dont think i ever will be. Take care of yourself today. x

slowlyfading

poppycracker wrote: »

Slowlyfading, i dont personally think that your manager should be allowed to discuss your personal business with anyone, is there no-one higher up the chain than her that you could talk to?

Its RBK's manager who's been a :mad:, not mine but :hello: anyway, long time no see! x