Depression Support Thread

meyore

shazrobo wrote: »

hi everyone, hope your all well. feeling really tired and lacking motivation, think its a result of an increase in my medication.
just sat at home waiting for my son to ring at 3. his support worker in school rang me half hour ago, to say he'd been assaulted in school, and my lad had done absolutly nothing to provoke the attack. feel sick in my stomach worrying about him, wish i could go into school and give daniel a big hug, so worried about him.
big hugs to all
shaz x

Aw shaz, big hugs

Hope everything is ok now? Arent you allowed to visit him?

Xx

dawnylou

CCStar wrote: »

Hey cut the bad self talk

I am also in my PJs and feel I deserve to be happy - AND SO DO YOU!!!

What has happened to lead you to this feeling?

I'm afraid we will have to agree to disagree.

I have no idea, I am so up and down constantly lately.

I am just so sick of this. So much effort to do anything. Or nothing.

I hate myself so much for what I put other through on a day to day basis.
And yet I feel unable to do anything about it.

I now feel so helpless.

BizzyBek wrote: »

Tulip - that used to happen to be a lot when I had to get an evening train in the northeast. Never saw a conductor and the ticket booths were closed (no machines) I must have had about £100 of free travel over the year but what are you supposed to do!

DawnyLou - of course you deserve to be happy! We all deserve to be content and supported. And I'm betting those are still pretty sexy PJs aren't they?!

CCStar I kinow what you mean about wanting to make people realise what they have, like you son. I have friends with no panic attacks etc and they do little of anything with there lives. If I could just hop on a plane like they do I could possibly rule the world! Then they have the gaul to say they are jealous of me because of what i have achieved with my job and writing and I could scream - yes it's bloody hard work every day for me!!

Had one foster cat put to sleep this morning but don't feel too sad as I know it was the right thing to do for her. The other cat due for an op is home with more antibiotics as he still has too much of a cold to risk an anaesthetic with.

Matchsticks for my eyes please!

Do you live in the NorthEast?

I wish I could say yes - but I would be lying.
I have a black Dirty Dancing vest top on (minus most of the diamantes! Already!!!) big grey baggy bottoms and a pink Supergirl bathrobe.:o:o:o:o

Whatever floats your boat though... :rotfl:

I wish I could realise what I have. It's strange - I have everything I could possibly wish for - so why this constant darkness for me??? It makes me feel worse that I can't sit back and enjoy my life knowing this!

So sorry about your cats

meyore

razorbladekisses wrote: »

meyore What's been happening hun? How are you feeling tonight?

I'm ok now, is was a hectic weekend. I only got to spend about 24 hours with OH before he had to go back, so I was quite disappointed. At least I got to see him at all though, things could've been worse.

Hes talking about leaving the army possibly now. I know its making him unhappy and would love to have him back, but I don't want him making any decisions he might later regret.

razorbladekisses wrote: »

I feel quite upset today. My self-harm is really bad. I have many large open wounds on my arms. It looks so horrible. I just don't get it. I'm ruining my body yet still it isn't enough to make me stop. I don't have any friends and my family don't seem to care. I mean I've attempted suicide many times and made myself so ill and they still don't take any interest in me.

I don't feel like I'm living my life. I just exist. I have no real purpose here.

Have you been back to the doctors so he can clean you up? Can he not offer any support at all? Probably not if its anything like my doctors. I care what happens to you and I hate to think of you hurting yourself. You help a lot of people on here and I'd like to think I could do something for you If you need me just PM me.

I don't feel I have friends really either, but I think of a lot of you on here as friends and I'm always glad to read your posts.

Xx

dawnylou

shazrobo wrote: »

hi everyone, hope your all well. feeling really tired and lacking motivation, think its a result of an increase in my medication.
just sat at home waiting for my son to ring at 3. his support worker in school rang me half hour ago, to say he'd been assaulted in school, and my lad had done absolutly nothing to provoke the attack. feel sick in my stomach worrying about him, wish i could go into school and give daniel a big hug, so worried about him.
big hugs to all
shaz x

Sorry you are also struggling a little right now...
I wonder if that could be my problem at the moment too?
I was on 40mg fluoxetine - was weaned and now trying 140mg gamanil???
Maybe it is a change in my medication causing me to feel like this again?

I feel like a human guinea pig - try this drug, try that drug - and at the end of the day for all of the good they are doing me I may as well be gulping smarties!!! :mad:

I have lost all pleasure in everything - even comping and my challenges!
Living off bowls of cereal because can't be bothered to sort out some food for myself and I bet I still just get fatetr!!!

Feel even worse as I have my psychologist appointment tonight too :mad::mad::mad::mad::mad:

dawnylou

And I Forgot To Feed The Dogs Again!!!

meyore

dawnylou wrote: »

I wish I could say yes - but I would be lying.
I have a black Dirty Dancing vest top on (minus most of the diamantes! Already!!!) big grey baggy bottoms and a pink Supergirl bathrobe.:o:o:o:o

Whatever floats your boat though... :rotfl:

Lol, I'm sure you look better than I do though!

dawnylou wrote: »

I wish I could realise what I have. It's strange - I have everything I could possibly wish for - so why this constant darkness for me??? It makes me feel worse that I can't sit back and enjoy my life knowing this!

Don't beat yourself up about being unhappy just because you have everything you could want. Depression is an illness and telling yourself you should be happy just because will only make you feel worse. Its ok to feel like that, its how I feel when it hits me. But I'm lucky that the good days now outweigh the bad and I hope that they do for you too soon.

Xx

BizzyBek

Dawny - I was born and brought up in the North (yorks), moved to the Midlands 9 years ago)

You still sound more fetching to look at than me. I grabbed what was clean this morning, saw a glance in the mirror and I look like one of those mad old spinsters on documenteries with lots of cats....hang on a minute I have lots of cats already !! At 34 I won't write myself off as a spinster just yet!

Shaz - I hope the phonecall from your son helps to ease your fears about he is today

shazrobo

meyore wrote: »

Aw shaz, big hugs

Hope everything is ok now? Arent you allowed to visit him?

Xx

thanks for hugs, he has phoned me, and i was going to go over and bring him home for the night, but as the other lad has been arrested and also excluded from school for a week, daniel wants to stay in school, they spoil him rotten and take him on trips everyday, bowling, horseriding, swimming etc.
so long as he is safe from other lad i feel more settled, and i can ring him whenever i like and he can ring me anytime after 3. he's happy now and thats the main thing
big hugs
shaz x

shazrobo

dawnylou wrote: »

Sorry you are also struggling a little right now...
I wonder if that could be my problem at the moment too?
I was on 40mg fluoxetine - was weaned and now trying 140mg gamanil???
Maybe it is a change in my medication causing me to feel like this again?

I feel like a human guinea pig - try this drug, try that drug - and at the end of the day for all of the good they are doing me I may as well be gulping smarties!!! :mad:

I have lost all pleasure in everything - even comping and my challenges!
Living off bowls of cereal because can't be bothered to sort out some food for myself and I bet I still just get fatetr!!!

Feel even worse as I have my psychologist appointment tonight too :mad::mad::mad::mad::mad:

i know how you feel dawnylou, i have been a guinea pig too, tryin different pills. for me the fluoxetine was the worse, i couldnt focus on anything at all, and crashed car on them, not heard of the ones your taking now, but it could be your system getting used to them. living off cereals and ready meals here too.
big hugs
shaz x

meyore

Just found out today that my job has been offered to someone else at work. One of the full timers wants to go part time, so its my job they've offered her. Basically, I'm a part timer (28 hours) and I'm bottom of the heap as I was last to join. There is another part timer (20 hours) whose is above me in the "pecking order", so he automatically gets the fulltime job if he wants it (which he does) leaving me with the 20 hour a week job. Hope you all follow so far...

I was taken on for this job as 28 hours a week maternity leave cover for one year, which lasts until September. I imagine she mustn't be coming back, as it is also her job they are giving away. After my year I get sent back to work retail instead of counter (which is the side I worked on before), which pays less, but I keep my 28 hour a week contract. But I'm struggling to work out how they intend to make me do the 20 hour a week job when my contracts state 28 hours. And I've realised I can't find my contract anywhere...