Depression Support Thread

specialK

hi Shaz

Yes all relationships are hard work and you only get out of it, what you put in. (this works both ways)

It easy for us to advise, you really need to change your thought pattern. Focus on all the GOOD things about YOU, then tell yourself he does not deserve another chance with you, he blew it.
When you start to believe in yourself again you will look back at this and wonder why! Of course, you will hurt and you will never forget the times you shared, but if he is making you feel this lousy, is this the man you fell in love with?
You have got children to think about there, and here is a good place to get things of your chest, just don't let it suck you in.

Try not to let him get to you, try and be strong for the good things in your life. It still sounds raw and you are bound to go through these emotions, it is normal, as long as you believe in you, this journey will be easier to bear.

XXX

shazrobo

thanks antronella and specialk feels comforting to know that people are thinking about me, even tho i dont deserve it.
time for me to put myself and the kids first, and try and forget about him which will not be easy, and no doubt he will still try and make contact, but i'll try stay stronger, my sons hurting too seeing me upset, and also missing my ex, so i need to try and focus on some fun things for them, not easy this weather,
my son often says bad things to me when he is in a mood, and i usually dont let it upset me too much, but guess as i was already feeling so low it got to me. please dont think my son is a bad kid for the things he says to me, they both lovely lads, but have learning and behaviour problems, ADHD.
i know deep down the kids love me, by their massive bear hugs and cute smiles and kisses.
shaz x

specialK

Of course they love you, if he was alone with the kids, it would be him they were hurting. You are convenient for them to express (or try to express) what they are feeling. You would probably worry more if they had no expessions in all this!

As long people listen, you are worth it When they don't, rush out and buy some random Loreal product!
xxx

antronella

Good girl!! thats better! try a book called "How to mend a broken heart" by Hugh Willbourn & Paul Mckenna...overcome emotional pain at the end of a relationship. I've been reading and rereading this since my marriage broke up in july ( and even tho it was my choice it still hurts) Sure you would be able to get it 2nd hand maybe from amazon.

Try and get some sleep. Tomorrow's another day..and just get through 1 day at a time, don't look to the future. Your boys will be feeling it too as you said, and I'm sure they hate seeing you unhappy. Of course no one would think badly of them..they just don't know how to respond to whats going on. xx

antronella

I'm off to bed now. Need to try and get myself back into some sort of routine ready for going back to work on 2nd jan :eek: Hope you sleep and feel a bit stronger tomorrow. Nite nite xxx

shazrobo

i'll have a look on amazon for the book tommorrow, sounds like a good read.
thanks for been there tonight and listening to me rant. going back to see my counsillor on monday, and gp, dont know what they'll say.
sleep well, am going to bed myself now, as no doubt the children will be up around 7.30
night night, sleep well
shaz x

gario900

hope your all well
will catch up soon

xx

Tiff_2

Hi guys!:santa2:
I hope everyone's safe and sound this morning.
Erm... before I go on,(and on!), ...

STEPHI HUN ~ PLEASE SEE A [strike]VET[/strike] DOCTOR, JUST TO MAKE SURE YOU DON'T NEED MEDS.
NOW DON'T YOU MAKE ME COME ROUND THERE!!!

Ok, that's better - there's still a couple more on my Tiff list though.
Where was I? Oh yes.....

Huge Tiffy hugs to anyone who's poorly, or who is looking after poorly peeps, or who is struggling, or who feels lonely, or who has got a 'waggy thing' , and to all our friends, old and new.
I hope that today will be a good one for us all. Be kind to yourself guys!
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

Hi shaz!:santa2:
How are you this morning, hunnie? I'm so sorry you're hurting so much right now.
Let's have a look angel...

shazrobo wrote: »

trying to be strong and stop crying over him, i know he isnt worth it. he rang me tonight we had a polite chat about the kids, then asked if i wanted some company, stupidly feelin lonely said yeah, and he replies, i'll bring some spare clothes and stay over for old times sake, should have said no outright, but i'm so lonely and miss his company. anyway i add if you sleeping over its on sofa, to which he replies, whats point if we not gonna have s*x. told him we'd have to sort our problems first, and see how it goes. i was so ready to give him another chance, but he went into a rage, because i didnt want to sleep with him, told me no wonder my kids are mental with me as a parent. told me i'd never find anyone as good as him to take me on. crying my eyes out, feel so hurt, so used, and so stupid, you gave me advice and i did listen but didnt respond to it.
i am so stupid i deserve all i get, sorry for long post. dont feel like living any more really i dont. i think my kids be better off with out me in the long run. only this afternoon daniel has had a major tantrum, and said he hated me and called me a f***ing b**ch
had enough
sorry

WHOA THERE, TIGER!
You're doing a very good job of tearing yourself apart just for being a warm, loving person. Not allowed on Tiffy's shift, shaz hun!

First things first. You know what sweetheart? I'm actually kind of glad that he rang you tonight and that he came over and that he was such a pig to you!
*Stop throwing things at me guys!* And here's why I feel that way, hunnie...

Because of his behaviour last night -
You will never again be able to trust a word he says.
He has shown himself to be the absolute groin-itch that he is.
He has underlined the fact that he was just taking advantage of you and your warm nature.
His behaviour comes under the classification of 'domestic violence' - which can be emotional and/or physical. Emotional abuse can take a lot longer to heal than physical abuse.
He showed no respect for you or your boys.
His behaviour showed that he needs you more than you need him and that love=biology with him.
His words show a capacity for being vicious and sadisitc.
He proved that he is not worthy of the precious gift ofyour s*xuality or of your love.
He has removed all doubt from your heart and mind that you should give him another chance.
He gave you evidence of what life would be like with him - and it would probably only get worse!
How dare he treat you like this, shaz! Oh, I am royally tiffed-off at him.Lemmeeeatim!!!

shazrobo wrote: »

...told me i'd never find anyone as good as him to take me on.

Nope - you'll find someone much better instead!

shazrobo wrote: »

crying my eyes out, feel so hurt, so used, and so stupid, you gave me advice and i did listen but didnt respond to it.
i am so stupid i deserve all i get, sorry for long post. dont feel like living any more really i dont. i think my kids be better off with out me in the long run. only this afternoon daniel has had a major tantrum, and said he hated me and called me a f***ing b**ch
had enough
sorry

You have nothing to be sorry for sweetheart! It doesn't matter what advice is offered here angel - you have to follow your heart and there's nothing wrong with that. You were willing to work on the relationship, that's all. Nobody deserves to be treated this way, shaz.
You're raw and hurting right now hun so try and remember that. You're bound to feel this way and you're grieving for a relationship you put your heart into. Feel proud of that - and that you've still got your self-respect, hun. You need to be kind to yourself shaz, now more than ever!

You're a lioness of a mother, shaz - looking after your twins, who have mental ill health themselves, as well as providing a home and what's best for them, while you're ill yourself! Don't you ever doubt that you're not the best thing in their lives, hunnie!
I'm sure Daniel was just responding out of anger to whatever the situation was at the time angel, and because he has the health problems
that he does. It's even harder because of the long school holidays and the boys not being able to go to their centre. But hang in there angel - just another week to go and you'll be able to get some respite.

It is more than natural for you to be feeling helpless and that your life is being turned upside down, right now sweetheart. Cry all you want to, to get that *&!<?*$@ out of your heart and mind. Crying is good hunnie - it gets rid of negative chemicals caused by stress.
When you're ready sweetie, throw the tissues away, take a deep breath or ten, and hold your head up. You see angel, without him, you've got a whole new year full of possibilities waiting for you, in just a few days.

I'm so sorry I haven't been able to do more than post, shaz - I wish I could do more for you hun. But you know you're among many wonderful friends here , and please don't hesitate to post whenever you need to, ok? Sorry for my rant shaz & everyone. Thinking of you hun. You're a star!
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Tulip

:hello: Everyone,

Hope you are all ok,I am off to a friends today,got to phone them to say I am going over as I wasnt sure depending on how I was with this cold,I am completely well to go so I am going after all

Shaz *hugs* you are a great mother to your boys I think Daniel senses things are not right at home and he just lashed out at you.Please take care of yourself ok,we are all here if you need to talk and there is always the samaritans if things get too much for you,they were so brillient in 2005 when I hit rock bottom,they gave me some good and sound advice and really recommend them,I phoned them up instead of e-mailing but when I was well I thanked them for their advice and that I was coping again,but I know where to go to now if I need them online as that is such a lifeline for me knowing they are out there

Go here

http://www.samaritans.org// they are there 24/7 day or night What you say to the Samaritans is confidential so your doctor or anyone wont know so its ok

StephB,hope you get well soon

to those not mentioned you know who you are hope you are alright


*hugs* to those that need one


love and light,

Katie xxx