Depression Support Thread

Stephb1986_2

Hey everyone!

well i went out into town tonight as marilyn monroe i went with my mate and her mate and got ignored so ive come home as i have flu aswell! so im pretty bored now

hope your all ok

Stephb xx

BigMummaF

BAILEY I've bumped the thread about SAD lamps so it should be on the first or second page OK? HTH

Sorry your night didn't pan out quite how you'd hoped Steph, & hope you feel better soon.
BMFx

shazrobo

glad xmas and boxing day is finally over. apart from watching my two sons faces light up yesterday when they realised santa had been and watching them rip open their presents, i've been totally bored and alone, even rang samaritans yesterday cos i felt so bad. just putting on a brave face for sake of the kids. my ex rang me today to see how i am, says he missing me and still loves me. how do you know if someone truly loves you? how do u know if you truly love them, or are missing them cos your lonely?

Stephb1986_2

my mum says anyone can tell you that they love you it doesnt mean that they mean it though. sorry your having a hard time right now, i feel like carp sat in bed cant stop coughing

hope your feeling better soon
Stephb xx

shazrobo

hope you feeling better too soon steph, there seems to be a lot of cold going around at the mo.
shaz x

Stephb1986_2

i blame my step dad he's give it me!!!! my mum is getting it now too! the dirty animal

Stephb xx

shazrobo

off to bed now worn out with all the crying i've done over the last few days
goodnight, sleep well
shaz x

Stephb1986_2

aww shaz hugs hunni, night night sweet dreams you take care ok hun

Stephb xx

Tiff_2

katyk!
Thanks for sharing angel - I'm sure you've probably already had a nice welcome and good advice from the angels here. It certainly sounds as though you're having a tough time hun. Well done you for posting!

This may sound an odd question but can anyone help me decide the difference between being generally blue and genuinely depressed (ie where help should be sought).
It's not an odd question at all angel. I'd say that if you have to ask the question, that it may be a good idea for you to along and talk to your gp, hun. You will get a proper professional assessment and access to support and help if necessary. Don't be tempted by DIY diagnosis or cures. You don't have anything to lose angel and then you'll know for sure what your situation is.
Let's break this up into smaller pieces katyk although naturally, I know some problems can affect other problems we might have. I'm not a professional, so please use your own judgement and also discuss everything with your dr.
From your post, I see your issues as being -
- your health,
- your job,
- your relationship,
- your family's health,


Your Health:
I am 42, 5 stone overweight, married with 2 children but am just so down over the last few months and cannot seem to shake it...
... Just seems to be lots of bits of things closing in on me sometimes and just lately I have lain awake with my heart just pounding for no apparent reason. Mainly it is thinking what all I still need to do at work but then I think I end up just panicking about the fact that I am panicking.
It's strange how when we're feeling so low, the first thing most of us describe is our age and our weight! I've been guilty of that myself. It only underlines our low self-esteem. When we're very low, we all wish we were younger, older, fitter, taller, shorter, thinner, fatter etc - anything than what we are.
Your age is not a problem, sweetie - honestly. Regarding your age, I think the trick is to find a way to be happy with the age we are. Not an easy task by any means, but if you work at it hun, you won't feel down and frustrated about something that you can't change. At 42, you have the gift of experience and of living a life - hopefully, you're less than halfway through your life's journey, so don't you go giving up on me yet lady!

As I said, it's a good idea to see your gp. They are a gateway to huge resources, katyk. Please don't worry about it angel - your dr will be used to dealing with all kinds of situations and will probably have heard it all before. And if they haven't, they'll find some way or someone that can help.
Tell your gp about your anxiety hun because the dr can help you. They may also be able to get you referred to someone who is informed about LS for example, and/or a dietitian to help with your weight, counselling or other mental health support, a physiotherapist if you have problems with exercise or even a dr specialising in dealing with sexual issues, which is just as important as everything else! There are all kinds of possibilities, angel.
Tiffy's tip is to print off your post and show it to the dr hunnie. That way, you don't have to worry about forgetting anything. Also, when people pour out their hearts on here, it's pure and honest feelings that have surfaced in their posts and they feel brave enough to be completely open here. If you've printed off your post, your gp will have an extremely accurate and honest view of how you're feeling. They may suggest taking sick leave for a week or so, just so that you can have some breathing space, monitor how you feel and work with you, on deciding the best way forward.

Your Job:
Currently much worse due to pressure at work and feeling like I am not very good at it and being well and truly shown up by 23year old new boss. Would love to !!!!! about her but cannot in honesty - she is just very very efficient, focused and determined to turn round a very poorly run office in a hotel that seems to go through staff like water. would love to be as efficient as her but am disorganised and sloppy as a result. Work keeps getting on top of me when it shouldn't as what I am being asked to do is not actually very hard. Only work 30 hours a week where she thinks nothnig of averaging 12-14 hours a day so feel I cannot say I am sinking and things are falling further behind.
I admire your honesty in not putting your boss down katyk. When faced with such a seemingly 'super-woman', it can make us feel near useless if we're feeling really low. This can sometimes be what they call 'black and white' or 'all or nothing' thinking. I hope you can find some comfort in the fact that if she were going through all that you are, she wouldn't be able to do all that nearly so well imho. She's paid a good salary to work those hours katyk and doesn't have the demands on her time that you have. Don't compare yourself to others angel - you never know what goes on behind their closed front doors. And don't put yourself down either hunnie - everything you're feeling is completely natural.
The positive side to having a boss like her, is that her skills will turn the hotel into a smoothly-run place and that helps to ensure your job security. Is your boss aware of how much you're going through hun? Do you feel you could sit down and discuss work with her, tell her that things are hard with OH atm, for example, and that you're struggling a bit? You don't have to tell her everything or anything even - you choose what you feel comfortable with, angel. This may be a good idea if you're worried about your job due to recent performance hun and it could take some of the stress from you if you feel your boss is sympathetic and supportive. Maybe you could even consider taking a few days of sick leave, with a dr's note?

Your relationship:
Added to this is a marraige which is happy enough on the surface but most of the time we seem to tolerate each other more than anything else. He hates the fact that I am untidy and I hate the amount of time he spends in the pub. Also I feel he is to quick to shout at the kids and he feels I am too soft. We seem more to just snip at each other rather than really row, and the physical side of the relationship has been totally dead for over 6 years now since I was diagnosed with LS. Having said that it was infrequent even before that. Realise I cannot have sex but I put up barriers to even a touch many years ago and now we don't hug, kiss or anything.
You sound so unhappy hunnie. I don't know your situation re children and marriage etc. obviously, but a couple of things occurred to me whilst reading this part.
One reason for your 'untidiness' may actually be part of depression. OH maybe spending time in the pub because he doesn't know how to change things or he doesn't understand what you're going through. You snipe at each other imho, because you both have trouble talking because you're both struggling and also not really understanding each other's problems.
Again hun, there is help available and even your dr may have some ideas, including counselling which could also help with your self-esteem. Your sexual and intimacy issues can also be discussed with your gp, angel. It is an important part of life to us and there is nothing wrong with that.
If you think your OH might go, you could contact the charity, Relate, for counselling. Here's a link to their website hun, which explains all the things that they can help with. It's not necessary for OH to go - you can go alone - and sometimes there's the option of telephone support.
http://www.relate.org.uk/
Sometimes getting a different perspective on our situations, can make all the difference and help us see things in a different light, with different options. Of course, all of the issues you mention are treated with great confidentiality by all these professionals.

Your parents health:
Mum has senile dimentia and is going downhill quite fast now and I worry that I cannot get over there often enough to be of any support to dad. Big sis is over to see them most days and is much more practical help to them. He is remarkable for his age but is 83 and she can be very hard work sometimes.
Just seems to be lots of bits of things closing in on me sometimes and just lately I have lain awake with my heart just pounding for no apparent reason. Mainly it is thinking what all I still need to do at work but then I think I end up just panicking about the fact that I am panicking. Other days I feel OK and everything shrinks back down into perspective.
Not sure if I really need to go seek help or just ride it out. Hoping some others here may recognise a little more than me.
Thanks Katyk
I'm sorry that your mum is so poorly angel. It's a cruel illness. I'm sure you've got all this information already but just in case, here are links to the charity, MIND:
http://www.mind.org.uk/Information/Booklets/Understanding/Understanding+dementia.htm
http://www.mind.org.uk/Information/Booklets/How+to/
http://www.mind.org.uk/Information/Booklets/Mind+troubleshooters.htm

Also, you can find some related links from other sites here:
http://www.patient.co.uk/leaflets/sd_-_senile_dementia.htm
http://carers.org/articles/alzheimers-and-dementia,48,CA.html

I can't vouch for them myself hun, so always seek extra advice. You may also be able to get help from Social Services Adult Team. The rules are always changing so it can't hurt to ask them to look at the situation again, if you and your sister agree to. Your dad sounds lovely hun and I'm glad they've got practical support from big sis. Don't feel bad about not being able to get over there more hunnie - we all have different roles to play and you do play your part.

You've got a lot on your plate angel to say the least but even then, you are able to see that you're not like this all the time. The very fact that you're trying to find answers is a really positive thing, angel.
I hope some of this has been a bit helpful katyk. Keep us posted as to how you get on, hun - you're welcome here any time.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Tulip

:hello: Everyone,

I hope you are all well,I am fine today,still not well at the moment with my cold but I will battle on as always pottering around as usual welcome Bailey to our thread,you have come to the right place,post as little or as much as you like Sorry you are not well StephB,Get Well soon

Have a nice day everyone,just went to the Argos website to find the Dslite's are still out of stock again,never mind

*hugs* to everyone that needs one


love and light,

Katie xxx