Depression Support Thread

rose07

shelby161 wrote: »

Thanks for all the lovely messages on here.Not having the best day here at the moment [kids and men and men and kids] Trying to keep calm and using the rescue remedy which helps a bit i think.Feel v weak-think i felt like this the last few times i used ADs -so have got a ready made lasagne for every ones tea. Lost my appetite bidtime but i like this too so will try to eat a piece later!! Love to everyone on here-stay strong-Sophs

hi soph

hope your day picks up

i think you need some you time, do your kids stay still log enuff to watch a dvd, you could put one on and watch it with them, just time to stop.

have you told your gp how weak your feelin atm? its a good idea to tell them and keep them posted about how the ADs make you feel, some AD dont work for people, they are meant to help not make ya feel worse.


lasagne sounds good, u know thats one of my favs too, just after pizza, im a fussy eater tho :rotfl:

take care xx

rose07

well im still hurting today, i musta ran into somethin on friday, or fell or somethin, coz my head is soo sore , not like a headache, but i think i banged my head, as left side is sore, like i have banged it off somethin, and the pain goes all the way down my head and into my jaw, greeat :rolleyes::rotfl:

ahh well could be worse

xx

fantastico_2

juno wrote: »

Well, after I phoned my daddy, he came home :)And then he took me to hospital. It's apparently my bowel, not my kidneys.

Thanks for the hugs

Hi Juno, its a releif that its not serious. Hope you start to feel better soon.

Sounds like a lot of you are feeling very under the weather. The appauling weather outside is noy helping to lift those spirits of ours is it. Pity i cant think of anything to help. My dog is fast asleep on my bed, he has had his doggy choc from the advent calender (its a proper one for doggy's) and wants some more. He has now given up looking at it as though he could 'will it' to fall off the shelf onto the floor.

Love to all and get well soon

Luv H xx

rose07

poppycracker wrote: »

evening all

(((((((hugs))))))) to everyone who is having a bad day or just feels like a hug.

I'm having a bad week. I'm seriously thinking of jacking the whole thing in, my job, my relationship, everything. The problem is that if I do, I've got nothing but a whole lot of debt and I don't think I'm strong enough to do it.

I've lost my bolthole at my mum's house. My dad says I'm always welcome with him and my nan, but its in London, at the other end of the country. And I should be able to stand on my own two feet at my age! I'm living in a tied flat so I would need to find a new job AND a place to stay at the same time.

Anyway, I'll just have to take a deep breath and carry on until at least after the New Year.

only about 23 days til christmas! hope everyone has a better day than me tomorrow (((((hugs))))) to all

PC

so whats up hun? has somethin happened to make ya feel like just jackin everythin in? or do ya need a change?

its good your dad has said you can move there, but as you say it is at the other end of the country, but maybe if you feel soo stuck atm, maybe a change is what you need. only you know what you really need atm

new year isnt that farr away, maybe a fresh start after christmas, you could even make a plan for the new year even if its just gettin away for a bit.

take care
xxx

dawnylou

Hi all.
I am so sorry I have not posted for some time. I have been reading though and am thinking of you all.

I am so tired and run down. I just don't have the energy to do anything.

I went to the doctors again last week. In all the time we have spoke I have always denied that I had any suicidal urges, mostly because I was so ashamed of myself. However I admitted this to her. She is going to try and bring forward my psychologist appointment. Feels like I have been waiting forever but since I was initially advised the waiting list was around a year I can't complain. Would be nice if it could be sped up though. So sick of feeling like this. So sick of bringing others down with me. So sick of everything.

My doctor advised she will have left by the time my next appointment was due and has recommended another doctor to me so I am a bit scared as I feel I will be starting all over again in some aspects. She said she will leave full notes though and I trust she will. However when she said she was leaving the surgery I instantly burst into tears and then when I had got home felt really bad that I had re-acted like that and hadn't even wished her good luck in her new surgery or anything so I went and bought a pretty thank you card from the town and wrote it out and left it at reception for her. I hope she smiled when she got it.
I am so tired at the moment. I feel like I am running on empty. I went to Boots and forgot something while I was there and decided not to bother going back. I was overcharged for my thank you card and couldn't even be bothered to mention it, I just paid and left.
Everything seems such an effort.

I decided to get contacts as often forget to take my glasses anywhere with me and have found that my eyesight has worsened again. Third time in a year and a half! I'm gutted because I was always the only one who didn't need glasses in our family and I was proud of that and I only just started wearing glasses a year and a half ago. I can't believe how bad my eyesight is now getting. I am so worried that I will end up blind young.

Anyway I haven't been well this last week. I suddenly got such a sore throat I couldn't even talk, my head was pounding and my neck ached and was sore to touch. Was so worried I had meningitis! Didn't feel like flu as no other symptoms at all. Anyway I lazed around a lot this week. Took sore throat medicine, painkillers, lozenges and vitamin c to try and chase it off as I knew I had a wedding to attend and I couldn't back out of it as my place was all paid for!

I have only been getting an average of about 3 or maybe 4 hours sleep a night and so am very very tired.

The wedding was my Fiances workmate and it was a posh do. Whenever I have been out with him and his workmates I have humiliated him with my drunken antics. I am so ashamed of this. I feel I don't deserve him and his mates must pity him for putting up with me. I decided this would be different. I was going to prove that I could be a good person.

I bought a cream and black silk dress with sequins and a matching sequin hair clip and thick black tights. My stomach stuck out so far I looked pregnant! Almost all of the other girls there were so slim and attractive! At least the tights hid the scratches and scabs on my legs though!

Anyway the actual ceremony went well. Bride was beautiful, gorgeous dress and you could see how happy everyone was. It was lovely. And I was feeling much better as far as my throat and head were concerned.
We then went to the pub while we waited for the coach to take us to the castle for the do. I had one glass of wine which I just sipped. Would have preferred a coffee but everyone else seemed to be drinking! So weak!
Anyway thought I would pace myself but the coach came early so I ended up necking my drink and immediately regretted it knowing I had already started!
We arrived at the castle for the reception and had a glass of bucks fizz on the way in. I drank it so slowly, it was nice though J Looking around I noticed that some people had had as much as 2 pints in the time it took me to drink my drink so I did feel proud of myself for that. I also declined a drink to take in with me for my meal! I had a glass of red wine with my meal which lasted the full meal and when we got the champers for the toast I just toasted and sipped it, never even drank half the glass and left it behind.
When the brde threw her bouquet I soooooooooo wanted to catch it but didn’t even dare stand up! My Fiance urged me as he knew how happy I ould be if I caught it, then 2 girls I didn’t know came and got me up so I went, but was nowhere near and didn’t even eally try as I felt so awkward for some reason. I hate being in front of lots of people!
Some of his workmates even commented on how I didn’t try very hard! Lol But of course they don’t know that I have such ridiculous issues so I know there was no harm meant.
And I started to sweat really bad under my armpits – I sweat loads there when I am nervous but it really stood out on my cream silk dress and made me even more paranoid! I kept thinking everyone would think I was a fat sweaty, ugly pig and I ended up comparing myself to almost every other female there. Wishing I was as nice as them. Inside and out. Even wishingthat somehow my Fiance could meet someone else, someone better than me who could make him truly happy without making life so difficult for him. I didn’t want to start one of those conversations there, especially as he kept saying how pretty and sexy I was and stuff and I didn’t want to upset him. I text his sister but feel bad as she was so worried about me!

Everyone was dancing and singing and hugging, having lots of fun but I felt like an outsider looking in. I can’t imagine ever being able to just let go and have such fun. To feel so close to others. To fit in.
I have always been quite like that, I think that’s why I drink so much so quickly usually. To relax me into trying to fit in and dare do as others do. But then I never know when to stop until perhaps I cause arguments or storm off, or pass out somewhere. I hate me!

Anyway I then had an orange juice in the next round and from then drank Baileys but didn’t get a drink every round so when the bus came at1am to take us home I was still sober!
I could remember everything! And I’m sure I can’t have done anything to upset anyone or to embarrass my Fiance. At least if I did it wasn’t intentional nor the result of me being a drunken !!!!! as usual.

I have been having so much trouble sleeping lately getting only about 3 or 4 hours a night roughly. Went to bed at 4am, usually wide awake by then so thought at least I should sleep a bit later. By half six I was up!!! So annoyed! I had some painkillers and medicine as felt bad again, went back to bed bout 7 and got up agai at around half nine.
I am shattered but don’t want to nap in case I can’t sleep at all tonight! I don’t know what to do as I am sure I will break soon if I don’t get some sleep! Does anyone have any suggestions as to what may knock me out for the nght – drug and alcohol free??
Tried warm baths, hot choccie, pjs on radiators, but no matter what I always wake up at stupid o clock!! L

Anyway I am so sorry for such a long post. Especially seeing as it is so boring nd I am just rabbiting on about nothing. I am also sorry for how pathetic and full of self pity I must look when I can see that others have far worse problems than my own.

[FONT=&quot]I’m sorry. I hope that everyone else manages to get themselves through the dark times they are having at the moment.[/FONT]

geminilady

Hi Dawney :hello: Just want to say well done for staying sober at the wedding:T i think you did really well..Also it was really nice of you to leave the card for your Doctor i am sure she was very pleased.I can empathise with the feeling of not fitting in but just because you think everyone was happy and smiling at the wedding does not mean they were,lots of people put on an act and underneath they will have their own worries and problems.I do not know what to advise about your sleep problems you seem to have tried most of the usual remedies.Do you like to read in bed ?maybe that will help i know the worse thing you can do is just lie there thinking why am i awake.Did you mention not sleeping to the Doctor? maybe a change of meds would help.Anyway don't apolagise for a long post this forum is for everyone and your problems are just as important as anyone elses.

shazrobo

hi dawney, well done for staying sober at the wedding. i feel like i dont fit in amongst other people, who always seem so happy, so your not alone hun, just have to put a brave face on.
there is a deodrant that is brill for excess sweating, i use it if i'm going somewhere that is going to make my anxiety bad, think its called triple x, and it keeps me dry.
can really sympathise with you over not sleeping, as i suffered badly too, and the only thing that seemed to work was sleeping pills off my gp, but thats only useful for short term.
have you tried cutting out tea and coffee after 6pm, i find this helps me
big hugs
shaz x

shazrobo

managed to smile this afternoon, i took my sons to the cinema to see fred claus, and it was a funny film, the only thing that spoiled the afternoon, was teenage girls chatting and giggling behind us, how rude :mad:
my boys both have severe ADHD and if they can manage to sit quietly through the film then i dont see why these girls couldnt
big hugs to those that are poorly, tired, under the weather, or just need one
shaz x

BigMummaF

Hi Y'all, from the soaking storm-lashed south......I think someone emptied the sea over us today:eek:

I had hoped to get to a local market to see if I could find anything exciting for the 25th, but in a way I'm quite relieved I couldn't go---I get more time to think about what I should be looking for & by the time I've decided what that is, it's too late & I'll vow to do it for next year:T

I'm feeling a tad hissed off...daresay it's something to do with lack of cash; enthusiasm; sunlight; reasons to be cheerful part 3:o Maybe I should find me a feather....

I hope you can manage to stay dry & warm peeps, & I'll catcha later. Peaceful Minds folks. BMFx

poppycracker

evening all

Thankyou to rose and elegantly wasted for the kind words; I'm feeling better today. This is such an infuriating job that I get upset and feel like jacking it all in at least every 3 months or so! OH and I have both had the lurgy for over a week and I'm the one that has had to get up every morning, get dressed, put my 'I'm OK' face on and go out to work. I'm just fed up with not being able to say 'S*D it, I'm not going to work, I'm ill!' And men are so self centered when they're ill. I've been looking after HIM since we both went down with it, and have been suffering by myself. Sorry for seeming so selfish but I just wanted someone to give me a cuddle, and tuck me up in bed with a hot drink. Don't think I've had a cuddle for about a month now.

Rose, I hope your face feels better now, and juno, same with your various sore bits. I'm glad they found out what it was, now hopefully they will be able to treat it and you'll feel better in no time.

dawny, so sorry you've had such a hard time recently, but well done on getting through the wedding. Please believe your OH when he tells you that you're pretty and sexy, he obviously loves you very much.

shaz, sorry you had a couple of brats behind you at the cinema, but at least you were able to enjoy most of the film.

and to everyone else, I hope you've had an OK day today and lets hope tomorrow is a reasonable day for everyone. Good luck to anyone who is going to appointments, meetings, college etc.

((((((((big hugs)))))))) to all, especially Tiff!

PC