Depression Support Thread

santashelper_2

ElegantlyWasted wrote: »

SantasHelper - I'm sorry things are so bad for you right now. I don't want to make any rash judgements as I don't know you or your family, but your husband sounds very unsupportive. Obviously, this could be for many reasons. It's likely that he is concerned, and doesn't know how to help you, and is therefore getting defensive and being hurtful, rather than admit he is stuck.

Are you still having counselling? Or having any support from your GP? If you haven't already been to see them, I'd really recommend it. It's scary, but they are equipped to help, or refer you on to the right people.

*hugs*

Lisa x

i went back to the councellors and they said i was doing ok and to keep facing my fears as i became afraid of people after my parents rejection (something to do with not being able to trust them) felt i could not trust anyone i also had a situation where one of my bosses confronted me over a problem at work in front of lots of other people and even though i was right and he was wrong and he walked away embarrassed it must have brought lots of issue to to the surface and thats when i started to get depression which led to a breakdown, i still see my gp who basically say keep facing your fears to which is overwhelming when you feel you are trying to do this alone. I get easily frrustrated because i am a high achiever and feel frustrated with the physical and mental exhaustion i experience but also feel my husband is putting me under pressure to get better by commenting on how little financial support i can give, i try in other ways do all the housework, do the shopping, take the dog out, do the ironing, clean the house, sort out any problems in the house, run my daughter around, so he only has to go to work and occassionally walk the dog, and this is why i feel annoyed that he wants to spend so much money on his nephew for xmas when he complains about money i dont particularly get on with his nephews mum who always tried to put me down and thought i was a mug doing to much and maybe she knew men took advantage of you but not having brothers and going to a girls school i looked at my husband in admiration and thought mariage was a joint thing when you both support each other no matter what.

my husband rarely praises me and when i ask him how i look because i feel ugly due to my parents rejection he says lots of men look at you but hardly ever tells me i look good i am a size 12 5ft 6 so im not overweight i try to look good but feel ugly

johnroberts07

I know how you feel, im the same. I always think im ugly and worthless. People tell me im good looking but i dont believe it. I have driven people away by my low self worth. By the way has anyone had Sertraline? they are the new tablets im on.

ElegantlyWasted

johnroberts07 wrote: »

I know how you feel, im the same. I always think im ugly and worthless. People tell me im good looking but i dont believe it. I have driven people away by my low self worth. By the way has anyone had Sertraline? they are the new tablets im on.

I'm on Sertraline at the minute.
For me, they seem to be ok at the minute. I had been taking Citalopram - which were terrible - I had night sweats, couldn't sleep, couldn't eat, crying all the time. Then we tried Seroxat, on which I attempted suicide twice, and doc decided to take me off them. I had no energy, no drive, it was horrid.
Like I say, the Sertraline are going ok at the minute, but I'm still on my first packet. I hope they work well for you and you feel better soon.

Lisa x

johnroberts07

I was on Citalopram as well, and i got taken to hospital a few weeks ago as i tried to commit suicide. I just hope these tablets are better

santashelper_2

johnroberts07 wrote: »

I was on Citalopram as well, and i got taken to hospital a few weeks ago as i tried to commit suicide. I just hope these tablets are better

i used to take citalopram but ive been trying to cope without antidepressants under my doctors advice some days i feel like i get black dots in front my eyes but i have noticed i dont feel so detached as i used to i try and exercise by taking the dog out which is really good because i feel i need to take him out i probably get more support from him than anyone else

ElegantlyWasted

santashelper wrote: »

i went back to the councellors and they said i was doing ok and to keep facing my fears as i became afraid of people after my parents rejection (something to do with not being able to trust them) felt i could not trust anyone i also had a situation where one of my bosses confronted me over a problem at work in front of lots of other people and even though i was right and he was wrong and he walked away embarrassed it must have brought lots of issue to to the surface and thats when i started to get depression which led to a breakdown, i still see my gp who basically say keep facing your fears to which is overwhelming when you feel you are trying to do this alone. I get easily frrustrated because i am a high achiever and feel frustrated with the physical and mental exhaustion i experience but also feel my husband is putting me under pressure to get better by commenting on how little financial support i can give, i try in other ways do all the housework, do the shopping, take the dog out, do the ironing, clean the house, sort out any problems in the house, run my daughter around, so he only has to go to work and occassionally walk the dog, and this is why i feel annoyed that he wants to spend so much money on his nephew for xmas when he complains about money i dont particularly get on with his nephews mum who always tried to put me down and thought i was a mug doing to much and maybe she knew men took advantage of you but not having brothers and going to a girls school i looked at my husband in admiration and thought mariage was a joint thing when you both support each other no matter what.

my husband rarely praises me and when i ask him how i look because i feel ugly due to my parents rejection he says lots of men look at you but hardly ever tells me i look good i am a size 12 5ft 6 so im not overweight i try to look good but feel ugly

I think maybe you should go back to the doctors, and tell them how much you're struggling. You could ask to see a different GP to your usual one, if it would help to get a different perspective. Have you tried meds? I understand that most people don't want to take them (Hell, I never did!), but they can help.

Please, talk to your husband about how you feel. It will be difficult, judging by how you say he drives you down, but he needs to know. If he doesn't know how much he is upsetting you, he can't try to change. You are right, you do a lot in the house, which is contributing to your family. If you were working full time, he wouldn't be able to come home to a nice, clean house everyday.

I understand about being a high achiever, this has been the bane of my life. It's hard to accept that you just can't do some things. The important thing though, is not to rush it. You need to take the time out to get better, and look after yourself.

Men are (in my experience) appalling at giving compliments. Try not to rely on his words. It's hard, but you are a good person. You obviously care about your family, and you're trying so hard to get better so you can do more for them. Try to focus on yourself, and take care.

Lisa x

santashelper_2

i do feel that a lot of people are under more pressure nowadays which probably adds to the amount of people with depression in the area i live know four people with illness a women in her 40s who has had a stroke a man in his 40s who has cancer a woman in her early 40s who has muscular dystrophy and am sure people never had all these things at such early ages years ago

johnroberts07

I am finding it an effort to have a shave or make something to eat nowadays. I havent been out of the house since friday or talked to anyone.

johnroberts07

My sister died of cancer 2 years ago, she was 42

geminilady

Hi Tiff:hello:
Hope your tummy is feeling better today.Just a couple of thoughts about your chronicals which i have really enjoyed reading wondered if you have thought of putting them together to make a book?I am sure lots of people would like to read it and the one thing that comes across is that you are a fighter and survivor.Sorry your mums condition is getting worse that must be so hard for you to see and i know you do not want to let her go but i am sure you do not like seeing her suffer either it is so hard we only have one mum.
About your brother,you did say he said he is trying to be a better brother so that is something,it shows to me that he DOES care, lots of people would not make the effort(i have a brother who lives 15 miles away and i have not seen or heard from him for ten years)

My brother replied that he felt awkward and embarrassed around me because of my mental health, didn't know what to say to me because of all the abuse I'd been through and he couldn't deal with the fact that I'd been sexually abused as a child. Forgive me for sounding sorry for myself guys, but I felt like a leper. If my own family members can't deal with it, how am I going to find someone who'd want to share their life with me?! Honestly, I'm not a bad person, (though I can relate to juno's thoughts), and I've got so much love to give and I could just see years ahead alone - I don't want to live like that yet, I can't help but feel my time has come and gone. I know this is partly my ill health talking but I still hurt, no matter how much common sense I try to talk myself into.
At least he is being honest with you,not everyone has the same strengths maybe you are the only strong one in the family i don't know,he proberly does not want to feel awkward around you but he just can't help himself.As to the sexual abuse maybe he can't deal with it because he feels he should have saved/protected you in some way?that is what brothers are supposed to do protect their sisters and maybe he feels he failed you?As to finding someone who can share your life it would be easier for them because they are NOT a family member and do not have that blood bond with you.Hope i am making sense and i have not offended you that is the last thing i want to do .