Depression Support Thread

Tiff_2

shazrobo!
I'm glad you've made yourself at home here hun & I look forward to getting to know you. I was really proud of you for opening up angel - thanks for sharing, I know it must have been hard. Let's see if we can break this down a bit, hun.

quote=shaz
hi all, having a down day today, and cant stop cryin, no real reason, except finding things tough again. i have two sons with disabilities, and as they are getting older, life seems to be getting harder. its mainly their behaviour, and immaturity, they act so much younger than they are, and need watching over like toddlers, as they have no sense of danger. and as they are big lads for 12 years of age, every kinda notices more, and i already suffer from depression and axiety, and this is making it worse.
It sounds like you've got a huge amount of responsibility and it's no wonder your depression and anxiety are affected! So, they are twins I assume, and have disabilities. Are they physically disabled too angel? May I ask what their diagnosis is?
Are you seeing anyone for your mental ill health shaz?
Do you have any family or friends who can come round and give you a bit of break? Do you have a social worker? Are any of you getting DLA? Or a carer's allowance? Please forgive the questions, but I'm just trying to see the big picture angel.
I can't believe that you're not getting any help and support with all of this angel! Somebody should be doing something for you.

It sounds as if a visit back to your dr might be a good idea hun. There may be ways that the dr can help you to manage better - possibly through temporary meds? - and it's always good to have your situation reviewed again. You're responsible for everyone it seems hun, so you must look after yourself too. Try and take care of the basic things as best as you can - you need to lighten the load on yourself shaz.
While the boys are still at school angel, grab what chance you can and give deep relaxation a try. I posted this technique a couple of times and it can really help shaz, if you practice it daily at least. It's like having a mental massage. Here's the link in case you want to give it a try...
http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?p=6110668#post6110668

dreading xmas as i have both sons at home for 2 weeks, and that is such a long time, i get no help or respite. makes me feel like a bad mum for moanin like i do, sorry.
then on top of this i have bf probs too, he is so unsupportive , but thats another story,
sorry for long post, just needed to get it out.
big hugs to all those who are having a bad time at the moment.
shaz x quote=shaz
Well hun, I can see already that you're a survivor and that you're a very good mum, no matter what you think. There's nothing wrong with anything you said shaz and I don't want to hear that you feel like a bad mum again!You're not moaning angel, you're struggling - and that's quite understandable given all you have to do.
I know I said I'd reply to posts in date order but with it being so near to Christmas, I wanted to give you some options to look into for yourself and the children for the holidays. I noted that you're up in Wakefield and so I went down into the Tiff archives - ok, I googled! - to get some contacts which may be helpful. I hope you don't mind and I'm sorry if you already know about them angel.

http://www.carers.org/help-directory/

http://www.wakefield.gov.uk/HealthAndSocialCare/Disability/default.htm

http://www.wakefield.gov.uk/HealthAndSocialCare/ChildrenAndYoungPeople/ChildrenWithDisabilities/default.htm

http://www.wakefield.gov.uk/HealthAndSocialCare/Carers/default.htm

http://www.wakefield.gov.uk/HealthAndSocialCare/ChildrenAndYoungPeople/ChildrenWithDisabilities/ChildrenWithDisabilitiesFAQs.htm

http://www.wakefield.gov.uk/HealthAndSocialCare/ChildrenAndYoungPeople/ChildrenWithDisabilities/CWDT.htm

http://www.wakefield.gov.uk/HealthAndSocialCare/ChildrenAndYoungPeople/ChildrenWithDisabilities/Connect/default.htm

http://www.wakefield.gov.uk/HealthAndSocialCare/ChildrenAndYoungPeople/ChildrenWithDisabilities/HomeBasedBreaks/default.htm

http://www.wakefield.gov.uk/HealthAndSocialCare/ChildrenAndYoungPeople/ChildrenWithDisabilities/ShortBreaks/default.htm

http://www.wakefield.gov.uk/HealthAndSocialCare/ChildrenAndYoungPeople/ChildrenWithDisabilities/StartingPoint/default.htm

http://www.wakefield.gov.uk/HealthAndSocialCare/ChildrenAndYoungPeople/ChildrenWithDisabilities/Wasdale/default.htm

http://www.google.co.uk/search?hl=en&rlz=1T4GGIH_en-GBGB212GB212&q=wakefield+carers+support&meta=cr=countryUK|countryGB

You can search on the internet for these charitable societies contact details and then write them a letter explaining your situation and ask if there's any help they can suggest...
Rotary Club Of Wakefield
Raising money for charities is an important part of the work of the club, but just as much effort goes into giving practical help to people and encouraging them to make the most of their lives.

Horbury & Ossett District Lions Club
Lions clubs are part of the largest Service Organisation in the world, with 1.4 million members in 186 countries and geographical areas, manned by male and female volunteers from within the local community.

Salvation Army
Owl La, Ossett - 01924 280204
Vicarage St, Wakefield - 01924 376296
Wakefield - 01977 600224
The Salvation Army do a lot of charity work with families, especially at Christmas. They're trying to help and not ncessarily recruiting religious converts hunnie.

As for bf, you haven't disclosed anything about him angel, but I guess the golden rule is, if someone's making your life worse or harder then we need to let them go. If they're not part of the solution, then they're part of the problem. Bless you, you've got enough to deal with.
I hope some of this helps hun - keep us posted about how you get on ok?
I'm thinking of you angel - you're not on your own on here.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

shazrobo

just a quick hello, as i'm getting the boys ready for school.
feeling bit better this morn, probably because school is the only break i get from both sons, yes they are twins. their diagnosis is severe attention defecit disorder, conduct disorder, oppositional defiant disorder, and learning disabilities. we have a social worker, but they are not much use, last time i told her i wasnt coping they wanted to take them into care, which is not what is not what i wanted at all, so i struggle alone, have no family or friends to help, am pretty much isolated apart from boyfriend.
the boys get dla at highest rate for care and low rate mobility, which helps a lot, and i get carer's for them, and just recently after my own mental health got worse, and i had two failed suicide attempts, i get dla too, so at least no money worries at the moment.
see my gp regularly, and am taking citalopram, again, been on and off meds 12 years, and i also go to a day centre once a week, where i do woodwork a couple of hours and also counselling.
i'll have a look at all those links later tiff, thankyou very much for taking the trouble to find them, i read your post last night, and i see you have a lot to cope with too, and then helping others on here, when i feel well enough i shall do the same. we all need all the help we can get to get well again.
hope everyone has a good day, and i'll check back later to see how everyone is getting along.
big hugs to all
shaz x

Horasio

Hanging in there guys

I am going to have to leave this house, the neighbours want to do long term building work next year - why do all my neighbours do it? And the they are always the nasty inconsiderate ones who don't care and make you feel wrong for asking how long it's going to take. They also make as much noise as they can. I hate neighbours!!!:mad:

My OH can only be likened to water on my flame. I am trying to get thro this dark winter but within minutes of being with him, I feel wretched. We had a big discussion about it but nothing changes. He is 56 next month but he might as well be 6.

We have signed up till March as there is nothing out there to buy or rent with it being so near Christmas. We are seeing my parents at Christmas.

I feel sad at the thought of leaving him but can't stand this feeling of deflation he gives me every time I do make the effort. I don't even know where I want to go anymore. I feel I am drifting.

EthelBloggs

Tiff wrote: »

Hi guys!:hello:
I'm hoping everyone's safe and sound this Sunday afternoon?
y is...

THE TIFF CHRONICLES ~ PART 7

I
Keeping you all in my thoughts as always.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Tiffster.. you'll always be needed around here. I think a lot of us wouldn't even be here if it weren't for you. I don't mean we'd be dead or anything but we wouldn't feel like it was worth coming here, iyswim?

I had sort of guessed things were a bit crap in tiffyland and i am sorry for not getting in touch with you about it, I know you understand why.

Families in general are a bunch of !!!!!! (I know there are some good ones) and remember, you don't get to choose them.. you get lumbered so if they're not treating you as you deserve, f**k them!!! that's a lesson I learned years ago and I only keep in touch with my mum now.

DS as you say is a perfectionist, and probably stresses over a lot more than he needs to. In a way you can take it as a compliment that he takes it out on you because he feels secure and knows that you;ll love and be there for him no matter what he says or does, not much consolation but you know what i mean.

I'm sure there is some kind of voice recognition software you can use that would mean you could type less. I'm not sure what it's called or anything like that but I'll try to find out and let you know. Your CPN might know/be able to get it for you.

Love you lots Tiffster xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

BigMummaF

Ethel said it all Tiff....

Hi to Everyone, can't hang about cuz I've got me undies to dry!!!!

Hope to catchas later tho?

Peaceful Minds folks. BMFx

queensway_boy

Whats with the daily mail site mumma?


http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showpost.html?p=6901997&postcount=3551

hugs

meyore

Hi all feeling better today, not sad which is good i guess. OH is having a relly hard time at the moment and is constantly bombarding me with texts telling me how low he feels. I hate it because there is nothing I can do from here to make him feel better. Hope he cheers up soon, but I feel selfish for thinking that.
Xx

fantastico_2

AAAAAARRRRGGGGGHHHH. Good job i didnt hand in my notice, as tghe new job wasnt quite what the chap had told me before. First he said that
it was part time hours (25hrs) per week and it would be permanant. This morning he said i could work Tues & Thurs and it would probably be just to christmas. I was furious, but have calmed myself now. Iwas so nervous first thing, i woke up at 4.30am in a hot sweat, and i havent ever had anything like that before. Took me ages to calm myself.

This is completly off the subject but, when i sleep on my back i have really bad dreams. Any other postion im fine its just when i sleep on my back. Does anyone else find that happens to them?

Love to all

H x

meyore

fantastico wrote: »

This is completly off the subject but, when i sleep on my back i have really bad dreams. Any other postion im fine its just when i sleep on my back. Does anyone else find that happens to them?

Love to all

H x

I find that too-I prefer to sleep on my front, but then I wake up with numb arms! Sorry to hear about the job, it sounds like a right headache to say the least.
Xx

fantastico_2

Ive been sleeping on my back as i pulled a muscle in my arm. I was finding that sleeping on my back was the most comfy, but most restless as i keep having bad dreams. I will keep looking for a new job, but i think most places are looking for seasonal at the mo. Could be the right time to move away, Ive wanted to for some time now, but have commitments here with family. That should be clear by the new year, could be heading north in the spring or before. I shall wait and see what happens, long time from now till new year.