Depression Support Thread

dawnylou

I'm so sorry to hear that Huni. Maybe he just struggles with his feelings though? I'm sure he does care for you.

dawnylou

Anyway I am off to see if I can actually get some sleep tonight...

Wish me luck!

Good night x

impy78

Thank you to all you lovely people who replied to me.

Ah, didn't know about that body storing fat thingy...crap.

I was really happy and a bit triumphant because I held on today, I only had 185 calories and I did a 3 mile walk.

I guess I need to take a recount. My boyfriend now knows something is up, because he found a pregnancy test ( I haven't had a period since July), and I don't know what to say to him. (We haven't, well, ahem, since May).

I also feel crap because whenever I get like this, I can just hear my mum's voice saying:

"No-one cares about your problems, people your age don't have them"

OR

"I don't want a child telling me they've had a nervous breakdown, that's just blackmail" (I was 23 at the time and had just come out of hospital for that very thing).

feelinggood_2

Impy - have you considered asking your GP for a referal to a dietician?

I know that I have to be careful as I can easily fall in to obsessive calorie restriction and excessive exercise. These things can be as harmful as eating too much.

impy78

I don't like going to the doctors about this sort of thing. They just look at you like you shot their mother in front of them and then put you on drugs.

geminilady

impy78 wrote: »

I don't like going to the doctors about this sort of thing. They just look at you like you shot their mother in front of them and then put you on drugs.

Hi Impy,I think the poster was suggesting you went to the Doctor to get diet advise not for the lack of emotion you have been feeling.You definately are not eating enough which could be why your periods have stopped.Obviously it would be best to get a doctors opinion on this.If you really do not want to go why not look on line at the slimming world or weight watchers sites.I am sure they will have diet plans and you can get an idea of what you should be eating.I know it is easy to think the less you eat the quicker you will loose weight but this really does not work in the long run

Tiff_2

Hi guys!:hello:
I hope everyone is safe and sound this a.m.;)
Weren't we a lot of busy bunnies on here yesterday?!
I think this sums it up perfectly for me atm!:D




Wishing you all a great Tunasday! :rolleyes:
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

Hi miro!:hello:
How's you hun?
Thanks for the lovely catnip miro!
You shouldn't have let me have so quite so much - it's like letting sazzy loose in a smartie factory!

It helped me to cat-ch up on my catnaps though!:rolleyes:

quote=Miroslav;
It was more like tiredness than courage When I woke up, I thought arrrrrrrrgggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh what have I done. How many pages have you written below Jump in, just not with 2 feet :eek:
See hun - no-one's rejected you or preached to you because of what you posted here - you're still our miro.;)
It would be a huge splash hun - talk about tsunami!
Don't worry miro - I'll be gentle with you.
Back to being serious Tiff now...


1. Well, I feel as a male, i've never had opportunities or been taken as seriously as if I were a female. The world is inbalanced, some things favour males, some females, but this doesn't do men any favours. I remember my step father telling me, it happened 5 years ago (I was 18 when he said it) so you should be over it by now - it's never over and I'll never find anyone who will accept me for it and I don't want to be rejected on the basis of it. I remember the indignity of going to my solicitor to file a damages claim on the say so of someone else. The court/decision makers decided, on the basis of 1 letter from the solicitor, that it caused 'no long-term damage'.
Would they be 'interested 18 years after it happening? Surely that is far too long.
I understand what you mean miro, it affects either sex. It's hard enough to find - and accept - help if you're a female, but it is easier to find for women. Like mental ill health, it's something no-one wants to talk about - one of the final taboos. But the links I posted yesterday show that it is being taken seriously for men too.
What is nearly as traumatic as any kind of abuse itself, are the things said to us. Quite simply, your stepfather was wrong hun. You can't erase something that has traumatised someone. Be it out of good intentions or through worry, it's the last thing you'd want to hear. If we could just accept a traumatic experience, don't they think we'd have done it by now?!

The abuse itself is over though hun and what we're left to deal with, is the fallout from it - which is just as hard, if not harder!
It's like mental ill health imho hun - we end up tormenting ourselves with our own thoughts. The skills we need are learning to put the basics in place to get through each day, to realise that it takes hard work to recover, that we can't change the past because it's gone.

If we can acknowledge and manage what has happened to us - and that's not agreeing with it! - we can learn to live a better life. We can learn ways with professional help, to try and put the events & the pain where they belong and to manage them, so that we can go on and still live a good life. I have more thoughts on this paragraph hun and might share them another time.;)

I'm not aware of one. I know there is a female one that is advertised, but nothing for men
Most primary care trusts have a male health clinic in their area hun. Call the gp & ask the receptionist or even call the local hospital miro. If this isn't available in your area angel, I think you should print off your first post and take it to your favourite gp at the practice. You really did a good job of explaining how you feel about this issue of needing medical help because of the abuse. There's help waiting for you hun and as hard as that is for you to approach, you don't have to be suffering from physical pain. Just think of how much better you'd feel once that was out of the way angel.

[SIZE=-1][SIZE=-1]Thanks for all the links, i'll check some out, maybe I have to start facing all these things that have stopped me living for so long.[/SIZE][/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1][SIZE=-1]You're welcome sweetie.[/SIZE][/SIZE]
Now don't go at anything or everything at full speed miro.
All the links I posted were for 'if' and/or 'when' you might want to look into them any further. I'm not trying to push you into anything hun. You have to go at your own speed and be ready to do things.
Speak to your dr angel and ask their opinion too. In my humble opinion, maybe you should make a list of the priorities to deal with and I'd suggest number 1 might be taking care of your physical health issues.
The longer you leave it them, the bigger that issue will become. Once they are dealt with hun, you'll have a clearer mind to deal with everything else.
Be aware that it won't be an easy fix for the other issues miro - I'm sure you know that already. It'll take time and no-one can tell you how long that will be. You have to do it step by step miro, or it won't work. But there'll come a day when you'll feel the sunshine and you'll be so glad you did it.;)


2. Hmmmm, when I went to my local A&E about 12-18 months ago, they told me they had no dentists within their environment
Go back and tell them to find out which cupboard he's been locked in then! This kind of attitude ticks Tiff off! Have they got electricity there yet?! Oops sorry - Tiffy claws retracting.:o
Hospitals do have access to emergency dentists, as well as being able to refer you to your local hospital's orthodontics dept. or to the nearest hospitals with one. With the new legislation, you can get a choice of where you get treated with a referral, so if they haven't got one, then choose another hospital angel.


3. The motivation is never there. I know the benefits, but I feel defeatist and never do it Being on here is finger and eye exercise only
I won't say it, I won't - I'll resist the temptation!
If you can just motivate yourself to make sure you eat properly etc hun, that's a good start. You don't seem to have a problem with your general physique or health, so don't over-stretch yourself.

4. I'll look at these as well, thanks. I feel pressured though. I have a PCA review next month and feel panicky. I don't want to obtain the thought of not passing through it
You're welcome hun. Why do you feel pressured angel?

5. :eek: :eek: :eek: Every little thing matters in our shallow world, sadly I fell ugly and horrible
You're not ugly or horrible hun - it's the pain inside us that's horrible and ugly!
Tiff secret - shhh...I avoid looking in mirrors. I don't like what I see and I can't help but think it should have all been different, that I shouldn't have ended up like this. Your self-esteem is a fragile thing and is usually the first thing to break.
So, I'm not going to tell you that you look like Justin Timberlake (), even if you do, because you won't believe me if you can't believe yourself yet. You've only got to look at our little MSE World angel, to see many good people trying to help each other out across all of the boards.
A good heart doesn't get old or fat or wrinkly hun - and that's what counts.

6. CAB refuse to help because they help my flatmate. One lady accused me of lying, saying she didn't believe flatmate and I were only just friends I'm going to try and do it myself first
Have you been to CAB with fm? If they refuse to help you because of a possible conflict of interest (even if you were dating or not), then they should have advised you that you can get help at the next nearest CAB to you.

7. I just feel unloveable and have done ever since 15 and did before I was 13. Why would anyone want me? I have nothing that people look for. I'm a sub-standard human being
I keep telling myself things will change, and they don't
There's probably nothing I can say here to change your mind hun but please think about this viewpoint:
You're not unloveable hun - you were badly loved!
This leads to a lot of people's trauma and how they see themselves. The change hasn't happened because you haven't dealt with everything yet, because no-one's told you about what help there is, or helped you to get it!
Why wouldn't anyone want you? Have you met everyone yet? I know this sounds blase hun, but what you wrote is an example of 'black-and-white thinking' and of 'catastrophising' - which is what we all do when we're hurting.

You're not a sub-standard human being miro. That couldn't be further from the truth. Never say that please hun! Because angel, every time you or anyone does, it reminds me of how I feel about myself. And it underlines it in your own heart too. The only sub-standard human beings miro, are the people who hurt others enough to bring them to this state!

A challenge then for us all!
If you can, take just one day.
Claim it as your day and do nothing but please yourself, be kind to yourself in your thoughts and dig however deep to find anything that will make you smile.
That guys, is step 1 to seeing yourself as you really are.:o

You're a compassionate, witty, intelligent miro, who is just waiting to grow into all your potential. The pain is a screen that stops you from seeing all the good things you are. It may take us longer to achieve what we will achieve than it takes others to, but the battles overcoming our issues will make the victory all the sweeter in the end. Be kinder to yourself, miro.

Apologies for the length of this guys. Right, now you've got a soggy Tiff - I'm off!
Now where did I leave that tin of sardines?! :think:

Much Love,
Tiff xxx

P.S. - see below...

Britney :kisses2: :kisses3: :iloveyou:

- But I love Justin Timberlake more!!!! :happyhear

consnmattsmom

Hello everyone

How are we all today? I hope the people that have been unwell and down last few days have started to pick up. Its hard isnt it to feel like that and not know how to change it.

Big hugs to SF,FG,Miro,Impy and Dawnylou and anyone else that would like one.

Dawnylou did you sleep better? I hope so.

I have lots to do this week as we go on hol for a break next Mon - Fri so that should keep me busy.

Hope everyone has a good day.

Glad you had a good sing on the karaoke again Katie. What did you sing this week?

TTFN xx

consnmattsmom

gillette147 wrote: »

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vr3x_RRJdd4

Hugs to you all
xxx

Thats great love the video.