Depression Support Thread

BigMummaF

Hi Poppy... something I find that helps, is to think of a place where I would like to be--desert island; green meadow; mountain top; flying like a bird--whatever, then you concentrate on all the details. For instance--the beach.

• are there any shells/sand dunes/rock pools
• what is around you..my beach comes out from a jungle, but you may have cliffs or vast expanse of sand..what can you hear
• what colour is the sea/sky/sand/sun/fish/plants/surroundings
• what are you doing..I'm on a hammock strung between two palm trees, listening to mellow tunes on my walkman & sipping on something cool in a large glass with ice, lemon & a cocktail stirrer watching the sun go down!:cool2:

It can last as long as you want it to, & as soon as you get the inkling of the first thought of your 'place' you immediately begin to relax. The beauty of it is,people would think you are looking at the tickets whilst you are waiting to go in, but you would be in your calm place. HTH & hope you both enjoy the concert.

poppyjay

big thank you for that bmf i will try that it has already calmed me down just trying hard not to let panic sink in

Tiff_2

poppyjay!
Thanks for sharing your situation poppyjay - you're very welcome here.:T

I'm recovering from agoraphobia and it got so bad I didn't even want to open the front door so I can empathise with your dilemma hun. In May, I travelled by car from Warwickshire to Harrogate for 2 weeks' convalescence. I knew nobody there. I've told you this to offer you hope angel.;)


quote=poppyjay;
hi hope you dont mind me joining but i could really do with some help finding things very hard today .i changed my tables with the doc and they have about 4 months ago been working very well im on max dose now for about a month and can really see a change from jan 06 have not really left house because of panic attacks .
I'm pleased that you have noticed an improvement with different meds angel.:T
I can give you some Tiffy tips hun that may help you through this I hope.


First of all sweetheart, the way you 'talk' and think to yourself has to change when you have anxiety like this.
Now the last thing you should do now ironically, is think too much about letting your DD down, as that's just going to increase the pressure you put on yourself.


- Understandably, you're already convinced that you can't do it tonight, that it'll be a disaster, that it'll all go wrong. Try and think of what you're feeling as a case of stage fright and that once you're there, with your backup plans in place, your anxiety will disappear down to a manageable level.


- Concentrate on what you are expecting the show to be like. What excited you about the show before? Try and feel the excitement of going through the experience angel.

- It is very common to confuse excitement and anxiety, because a lot of the symptoms are the same. Tell yourself that you're really looking forward to tonight.

- With all due respect to OH, the last thing you need now is upsets and rows and guilt trips. I know it's hard for him to understand what it's like, but getting into upsets is going to make you feel worse and the anxiety bigger. Imho, he needs to back right off and be loving and treat it as a normal day. Tell him that you'll come to him for hugs and reassurance when you need it.;)

- What you need to tell yourself over and over again right now is that ''I am recovering.'' instead of ''I am anxious.''
Are you taking any meds for the anxiety hun? They will help too.


- Tell yourself that this is a one-off opportunity and you're happy to be going. Ask yourself honestly if you didn't have the anxiety, would you go? The answer is yes, usually hun. So we'll take care of the anxiety as best as we can so it won't spoil your night.


- Ask yourself how you're going to feel about yourself if you don't go? Wouldn't you wake up tomorrow thinking 'Oh I wish I had...'?


- Tonight is going to come regardless. You can spend it how you wish. If you're going to feel anxious wouldn't it be better to have had some pleasure rather than curling up at home and feeling guilty too?:o


- The concert is still a good many hours away hun so no point in worrying about that now. Try breaking the day up into pieces angel, without thinking about the anxiety too much. Replace it with thoughts and little plans of action...
'I'm going to get some food treats in for when we get home.'
'I'm going to have my bath/shower at...' Pretend you're going on a first date - take time and pleasure in making yourself look lovely - get out that great outfit, break open your favourite perfume!
Feeling really nice about how you look is going to boost your confidence sweetheart and is a good distraction from anxiety.;)


- Ask yourself what you're scared of hun and then give yourself the answers...

'What if my mouth goes dry/what if I feel dizzy?'
'I'll take a couple of bottles of water in my bag so I won't feel thirsty and it will distract me from my anxiety.'
'What if I feel ill?'
'There'll be lots of people there who'd look after me and there'd be professional help there too. Plus my OH would be there and make sure I'm all right. I know where the toilets are if I need to cool down and take some time out.'

- You can't be anxious and relaxed at the same time. It's impossible. You can't be hungry and full, sad and happy and so on. So now you've planted that thought firmly in your mind, do whatever you can to relax.
The relaxation guide I posted here just a few days ago could really help hun. Certainly worth a try.
Try it and take a couple of hours out to take a nap too.

i have a little girl of seven and we are going to see girls aloud tonight from not leaveing the house to going to concert is a big jump.Have been fine leading up to it but am really panicing now had big fight with oh last night not much sleep but i really need to do this could really do with so advice thank you/quote
The very fact that you've been fine leading up to it hun, shows that you really do have some control over your feelings.;)

Having lived with anxiety already hun, you'll know that it does go away and although it's not nice at all, it does no real harm. Get angry with it for trying to spoil your night - anger can be a powerful tool.;) Tell yourself that you'll do all the panicking tomorrow!
Imagine how you'll feel about yourself if you manage to go tonight! You would feel fantastic sweetheart and it would really boost your confidence.:j

Try and concentrate on the experience itself. Play their music through the day. Promise yourself a huge reward (watch out OH!:D ) for going. :T

And hun, if you've done all you can and still can't bring yourself to go (you're bound to have the last minute jitters), then please don't feel bad angel, because after all, you are ill and just venturing out.

Take a tip from Tiff hun - don't let the anxiety take control of any more of your life - now you are going to control it!
Hope this helps in some way hun - post back if you're struggling ok? Please let us know how you get on angel. Just because we've a gremlin called anxiety, it doesn't mean that we have to listen to it all the time.;) I hope you have a great time.

Be kind to yourself sweetheart and believe.....
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

poppyjay

hi thank you for your post really am struggleing now had to take dasipam have not taken it in a long while but i really need to do this and tomorrow i will beable to do anything today is the day i take my life back this has controlled me for far to long .am going with friends and their children have explained my problems and they can bring my daughter home if i cant stay in but im going in.thank you i really need to face this now

Tiff_2

poppyjay wrote: »

hi thank you for your post really am struggleing now had to take dasipam have not taken it in a long while but i really need to do this and tomorrow i will beable to do anything today is the day i take my life back this has controlled me for far to long .am going with friends and their children have explained my problems and they can bring my daughter home if i cant stay in but im going in.thank you i really need to face this now

Hi poppyjay!:hello:
You're welcome angel.
It is good to hear some of the fight left in you shouting out. As with the rest of us, you are a real survivor.

As for taking the tablets hun, you should check with your chemist/dr that there'd be no reaction as your meds have changed. You could call any chemist, even in Boots/Asda or wherever, for advice on this. However, being that you've not had a problem before with them, I'm hoping you'll be fine. Don't take too many ok hun? It may even be worth calling NHSDirect's mental health line on 0845 40 40 or your local A&E for guidance.
Make an appointment to see your gp on Monday about managing your anxiety with medication for a while.;)

You know what hun?
The fact that you've still got friends shows you that there is a lot of hope for you beating this!:T

Right now off you go and do some chilling out for now angel - you've done enough fretting already. Leave the gremlins at home.
Time for your catnap hun - get some rest.;)
You've put plans in place and you're set for a good night out. Enjoy as much as you can - now go get 'em pj!:T
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

geminilady

feelingdown wrote: »

Im feeling much better today. Iam going to my doctor on Monday and chatting with my oh on sunday. As you said its my problem i have no friends and i have decided its time to change that. I lost ll my friens when i had my son but now i can have friends who also have children. My new life starts today. . I will let you know how things go.

So glad you are feeling better today,you sound much more positive,well done.:T

Tiff_2

Hi rain!
Come on in and pull up a toadstool hun - you're most welcome and I'm sure everyone's been their usual wonderful selves.:T :A

quote=Rain_is_Insane;
I didn't actually realise there was this many people out there that suffer from depression, stress and anxiety.
It is staggering - and sad - just how common mental ill health is rain.

I tried to ignore mine for 2 years thinking I was just tired, having a bad day etc. If I broke down in tears in the loo at work someone would just tell me it would be alright and pat me on the back because when they asked me what was wrong...i couldn't tell them...i didn't know myself !! It was only when my mum noticed i'd been wearing the same clothes for a week and couldn't tell her the last time i'd eaten a meal that she dragged me off to the doctor and he diagnosed me and signed me off work.
I'm sorry you've joined the club as it were hun, but it's great that your mum noticed these things and pointed you in the gp's direction.:T
Embarrassment, fear and confusion can all stop us from opening up, and as you said rain, how can you tell someone what's wrong when you don't know yourself?! It's like asking someone covered in a bright red rash of spots, scratching, with a fever, what's wrong with them - they won't know if it's chickenpox, measles, scarlet fever etc.
Imho, it's because it's our minds that are affected which leads to the fear and withdrawal if we are aware of our mental ill health.

I've been signed off since the beginning of April now and am taking medication for it. I still have more down than up days though. It sounds as though your gp is sympathetic angel. I don't know how poorly you are, but if your illness affects your daily life to a certain extent, and you're not likely to be well within the next 6 months, you may wish to try claiming DLA.

I think the most annoying thing is not knowing how long it's going to last. At least when you get a cold or cut a finger you know it's going to be better in a few days.
We've all felt that frustration hun.:rolleyes:
And because it's mental ill health, there's even fear to go with it. As each of us is individual, so is our mental ill health and how we react to our treatments. I think it's the fact too that there isn't a definite remedy for it all. It's ver much a trial and error situation.

Untill I was diagnosed myself with this illness i had the most bigotted, obnoxious and downright cruel attitude about it and my philosophy was "If you can't see it then it doesn't exist" Someone was right when they said "Payback's a biatch" lol
No rain hun, you don't deserve mental ill health, no matter what your views were. How can we all understand something like this, when the experts are really only just getting their acts together in the last 10-20 years? We are truly blessed with the options today, as opposed to dreading that little padded room (y'know - the one they keep for the Tiffster!:D ) and the sound of a key being thrown away that everyone's terrified of.:o

It's because it'sill health of our minds - what we think with, who we are, how we live, make our decisions, our own personalities - that makes it so terrifying. We're not very well educated about it all and we tend to class all such people as axe murderers - which of course, we're not. I've not met one yet - although sazzy can be a bit temperamental if you try and get her up before noon.:eek:

I know i don't post a lot anywhere on the board but i DO read things and reading through this thread helps. It helps knowing that someone is going through this with me and taking advice from their posts the next day when they say "well i had a shower, ate some lunch and hauled my !!! outside in the sun and felt better" I immediately go and do that to see if it helps me. Sometimes it helps just typing it out and seeing it in black and white (hence the ramble) so thank you for reading.
Till next time.....take care everyone x/quote
You don't have to post angel.;) There are hundreds of lurkers out there who get what they need from reading the replies to other posts on here and that's really good if it helps someone.:T You only have to look up how many people have viewed this thread and you'll see it numbers in the thousands. I think the success of this thread shows the reality of just how many of us there are.

Equally, anyone is welcome here to post. Nobody should feel shy - just grab that keyboard, let it all rush out onto the screen and hit send before you change your mind.;) It's amazing what a different perspective can do sometimes and at least you know you're not alone.

I hope you continue to get better rain. Stick to the basic needs and build on it from there hun. Keep us posted angel.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

Tulip wrote: »

:hello: Everyone,

I havent had a lot of energy today.I have felt really low again and so abnormally tired.I didnt go out today at all after physcologist left,In fact I told her nicely that I had had enough chat for today and she said that was ok and that she wouldnt be offended if I cut short the session if I wanted to as the sessions are about me anyway and I can only take so much.When she left I went to sleep,saw my parents and to them I was pale and I said I didnt really feel right so had a sleep and I had a quick chat to them.I stayed in all day but tomorrow morning I am out early as I see the specialist at 10.30am.I am going to mention the feeling tired etc tomorrow as Mum advised me to do that or they wont know how I feel and then they cant help me to get better again.I am watching Holby City tonight on BBC1.

love and light,
Katie xxx

Hi katie!:hello:
Sorry you hit a rough patch hun and I hope you're feeling better now.
Mum is very wise angel.:T
You should always tell the dr every little thing, because it can make all the difference to your diagnosis and recovery - even if you can't see how it could affect your mental ill health, you should still tell them.;)
Anyway, I hope that one of our resident sparks of sunshine is feeling better hun.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

Hi cif!:hello:
It's been a long time since you posted hun - how are you?

quote=cifpower;
Beem re-referred to my psychiatrist. Had an appointment on the samedaye I moved house in June and I forgot all about it. Then I waited for a new one and 2 weeks ago it clicked that I didn't tell them my new addess :doh:
Good luck with your new home angel.:T Even well people forget their appts at times like this.;)

So had an appointment with GP who referred me back as my case was closed with psych. Gave them my new address over the phone. Have also received an IB50 form to send back. Another medical? :think: _pale_
Not necessarily, but maybe an update? Have you changed gp hun? In which case, it's normal for them to want you to come in and say hi and give you a little MOT.;)

Last Friday I started a Mood Diary to keep track of my sleeping pattern (when I wake and go to sleep) and how I am feeling. Be good for me to look back and also good for my psych and possibly my IB50 medical to see what is going on.
Good idea? /quote
Absolutely it is.:j
It can help just writing things out, which is what we do here. I'd also list your activities during the day, who you meet with, when you eat etc.
As well as being theraputic, you may start to notice what triggers there might be that start you feeling unwell.
Apart from that, you'll be able to look back at it and be encouraged by just how far you have come.;)
Take care angel.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

slowlyfading

not wrote on here for a while. everything is going okay, though getting out of bed each morning is proving hard at the moment. one more month til i'm back at uni. hope everyone is okay. x