Depression Support Thread

Tulip

Hi Everyone,

Hope you are all ok,I am fine I am having a relaxing evening tonight after my busy day at the pub having lunch and singing 5 songs on karioke

love and light,

Katie xxx

judderman62

RoxsiScotland wrote: »

hi everyone, just wondering if anyone thought this would be a good idea -depression support penpals.
i suffer from depression and love getting post, so maybe we could all pair up and send the odd letter, card, and even money saving stuff like vouchers we cant use ect.
im only 22 but do get pretty lonely sometimes.
anyway, if anyone thinks its a good idea maybe we could start a new thread where everyone says a little about themselves and people can pm saying they want to penpal-up!
i dont know maybe its cheesy but hey!

doesn't sound cheesy to me - sounds lovely :grouphug:

Tulip

well everyone I am off now

Night! Night!

chat tomorrow

love and light,

Katie xxx

judderman62

Evening all :hello:

Well seeing as I've made a few posts in this thread already I figured an introduction and some background might be in order .

So grab a brew get comfy , kick of your slippers and relax :D

Also toward the end just want to check that you are all happy for me to be here - so if you get bored with everything else please just let me know if you are happy for me to be here.

I'm 45 , live on my own in a housing association flat.

As mentioned elsewhere I already know Zippy from elsewhere on MSE and elsewhere on-line.

Not sure when I started with depression but it hit a peak
when I was 34 - I was hit with a final written warning by an employer and it hit me hard.

There is a section in the book "The Road Less Traveled" by M Scott Peck headed : "The Usefulness of Depression" - 1st time I saw that I thought what a load of [strike]bolloc[/strike] nonsense and made me quite angry. However at some point down the line I understood - for me at any rate - as it was the depression that kicked in that caused me to take a long and hard look at myself and I decided I HAD to change.

I did two things (don't now recall the order) :

1) Went to see a psychologist - he used cognitive therapy - which was perfect for me.

2) I signed up to an Assertiveness course - best £34 I ever spent in my life - the course was good, but best bit was I met an absolutely amazing bunch of people and once the course came to an end we carried on meeting up at our homes and formed a self help group that continued for some months - absolutely amazing. Also remained good friends with 3 of the people until the friendships just drifted away, but that's Ok sometimes it happens and we change and maybe we're not a good fit any more.

I then got hooked up with a counsellor through Mind and saw him for quite a while at his home - it was very hard work at times and occasionally emotionally exhausting - I remember on one of my 1st visits (1st , 2nd or third not sure) breaking down and crying about something from my past that I didn't even realise I was so upset about.

This chap helped me a lot and was the best counsellor I ever had. Sometime later on I hooked up with another counsellor who was very god and for a while I was seeing both these people - which proved to be very useful as there was a time when something the second counsellor said really upset me and I was not sure if I was going to return to her again. I discussed this with the other counsellor as a consequence of which I went back and the relation ship with the second counsellor went to a much, much deepr, more open and honest level - superb.

I have resisted using medication for two reasons:

1) I had heard from several folk 1st hand that drugs left them like a zombie and they could not remember things that happened during the time they took medication.

2) For me, and this is just my opinion, doing so just papers over the cracks/masks issues. For me, and of course everyone's relationship with depression is different as are the causes, I need to work out why I'm depressed and deal with these issues for once and for all - I can expand on this if anyone wants me to.

I did take St. John's Wort for a while though.


At it's worst I went to bed EVERY NIGHT hoping I would not wake up the next day. I KNEW beyond doubt that my life absolutely would never, ever improve. I hated my life and wanted it to end - though I would never have the nerve to take my own life.

Anyhoo here we are in 2007 and I wouldn't say I'm depressed - I would say I am pretty darned negative in my outlook, sometimes get low - varies from quite low to very low (and probably dip into depression again) but doubt I will ever be 100% free from it. I have a book that sums up my outlook on life and my personality - it's title ?

Negaholics

This is as a result of criticism from my father from year Zero to present (Inner critical parent and all that) :mad::mad:




I suffer from:

Negaholism
Low Confidence
Low Self Esteem
Lack of Assertiveness
Low Frustration Tolerance
Sometimes a short temper

Other than that I am a well adjusted and well rounded human being :rotfl: :rotfl::p


Just to make all that more interesting I have also had a little experience on the other side of the fence in that I did and absolutely loved a basic counselling course - it was fantastic and I got good feedback too - fantastic period of my life :j :j

So with all that in mind - I'd love to pop into this thread every now and again if you are all happy for me to do so ?

Before answering just be aware of the following though - I would probably not be the most regular or active poster - as well as other threads on here and other sites I am also co admin on a forum I set up with some other like minded folk and have a life away from the computer (so why do you spend 90% of your life in front of the PC then J ? ... ah wellll - I'm working on that one)

As a consequence I would probably miss loads that was going on etc.

Anyway I'd love to pop in every now and again if that's OK and you all seem such lovely people

Thanks for reading and look forward to hearing from you all (maybe you could also tell me a bit about yourselves when you reply )

thanks

Judders

Tiff_2

Hi kaz!:hello:
How are you hun?

quote=kazstevens;
Well another day and the suns shinning, but it isn’t making me feel any different. In fact the warm weather isn’t helping me keep cool .. I have been told some two years ago I am pre menopausal, what ever that means, and that I can’t have any sort of medication or help until the menopause is full blown? Could take 10 years the Female Dr told me! … So hot sweats galore for me!!!
There's no guarantee that moods will lift for everyone with the hot weather is there hun? I can't stand it being too humid (we live on an island - what do I expect?!:rolleyes: ) and if out in the sun for too long, I do the lobster thing because I'm blonde, blue-eyed and fair. It doesn't help that some meds make you feel over-heated.
And don't even start me off about people and their apparent ignorance of deodorants and personal hygiene! I keep checking the supermarkets to make sure I'm not imagining the products - but no, they do exist, so why don't some people use them?!!!
Oh Lord - I'll be on Grumpy Old Women next!:eek: :rotfl: Actually, it's just my excuse to hang around the Lynx products so that I'm in a prime position to take advantage of the 'Lynx effect'! :j
Anyway, I digress.

Well hun, Tiff's 42 and heading the same way. As it's been 2 years since you spoke to the gp about it angel, maybe it's time to go back and see what's around. Opinions seem to vary as to when to expect the menopause - much as it does with the weather forecast!:D
The Myrena coil may help , but you need to see a professional (or 3) and ask them hun.;) I also know I read something on the health board about a poster having excessive sweat issues but it's not in the Tiff archives.:rolleyes:


.. I can’t afford any sort of herbal remedies as I am a lone parent on Income support, so moneys tight, any spare cash I do ever have I spend on my daughter, clothing etc
As you're on Income Support angel, you are entitled to have certain items necessary for your health free on prescription that you might not think you could have - Calcium Chewable Tablets and Aqueous Cream are just 2 that I know of - even gym membership as well.
If you're on meds, please check with dr first before buying herbal remedies. They can react with meds seriously.;)


… I feel so so selfish and indulgent feeling like this .. I have three beautiful kids .. 2 grown up, and left home and one little girl still only 8 with me .. Also a little grandson with another grandchild on the way ...
I won't for one minute contemplate the selfish and indulgent part hun! It seems like you've raised a family and put a lot of love into doing it. You should feel proud of yourself angel!:T

...my life is slow and uncomplicated .. But all the same I can’t seem to function properly and have no drive to do anything apart from the housework and looking after my littleun. I can’t be bovered to even call or talk to the very few family & friends I have, the phone stays unplugged more than connected these days .. What’s that all about? … I am not sure whether to return to Dr’s and talk about going on some sort of medication again .. I am just totally in a haze at the mo .. thanks for Listening x/quote
If you have to ask that question angel, then you need to make the appointment.;)



Your phone may be unplugged for a few reasons.....
- you can't deal with other people's problems,
- you want to be left alone, isolate yourself because that makes life a bit easier,
- your self-esteem is so low that you really hurt when you hear how wonderful everybody else's life is,
- you don't know who's on the other end or what they want and you just don't feel able to cope with it at that time.

Your dr may say you're depressed hun, but I think I also hear a bit of loneliness and maybe even a little boredom with the same routine day in and day out, maybe feeling a bit lost. Am I way off track here angel? If so, I'm sorry - it's been a Tiffer of a day!:rolleyes:
Now that's nothing to do with the little one, so no guilt trips on that. We're people too, as well as fulfilling our other roles and we need to balance that out sometimes.

It sounds as if you could use some tlc and also something that's just for you - be it a part time job, a hobby, going to college, whatever you want. If you're ready to change hun, you can make it happen and at your own pace.

There's lots of support on here from these wonderful people hun and you may be surprised at what you can find for yourself - it's not selfish to look after yourself and being the good example you are to your daughter.;) You sound a very warm, kind soul and I think seeing your gp is a good starting point for you. You have nothing to lose by seeing your gp sweetheart.
Hope this helped a little - and we're all always here to listen hun - it's what we do.;) Be kind to yourself.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

*zippy*

:beer: J lovely to have you join us. I haven't been here long, but its very welcoming and I don't think it matters how often you are able to post. Its a nice friendly place to pop into when you have time.

I saw one of those assertiveness courses advertised recently, I will have another look at it ,as it sounds like you got alot out of it.

andipandi_2

sweat pouring out like i'm a running tap,hallucinations,sleep deprivation ,its like the f in twilight zone

Tiff_2

stebiz wrote: »

A couple of weeks ago I posted on here saying how depressed I was - and that I was so bad I was thinking of getting admitted to hospital.

I went as promised to the doctors. Got some medication and am pleased to say that I am feeling 100% better - still bad but can actually reason with myself now. Thanks for all the support. I just thought I'd let you know how things got on. I'm off work and likely to be for a number of months. Maybe the pressure just got too much.
Kindest Regards
Stebiz

Hi stebiz!:hello:
It's good to hear from you again hun.
It's always good to hear how things can turn around quickly sometimes and I'm really happy for you hun. Thank you for taking the time to come back and let us know how you're doing angel. :A
You're more than welcome to anything that helped you here hun, but you're the one who took that first brave step by opening up and then following through stebiz. You did all the hard work!:T
Just a Tiff-note before I go hun. If you're going to be off work long term, you might want to apply for DLA.
Here is a link to the DWP DLA site stebiz - you can send off for a claim pack from this link too.

http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/DisabledPeople/FinancialSupport/DG_10011731

Once you get your claim pack hun, please make an appt and see the people at CAB - they are the professionals in filling this form in and you stand much more chance of success.
It doesn't matter if you're young or old, working or not, single or married, if your health is affected daily by any health issue - including purely mental ill health - you may be entitled to help.
Good luck stebiz and I hope your recovery continues to go smoothly. Take care hun.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

Hi pc!:hello:
How are you angel? I hope all is well.
quote=poppycracker;
...There's no point talking to my Oh about his drinking Slowly Fading, he reackons its under control and gets angry if I mention it. Last thing I want (need) is him angry at me, so I say nothing. He's been asleep most of the afternoon so thats been good.
Smack my muzzle if it's being too nosy hun, but I've been reading through some of your posts and I get little warning signals going off when you talk about OH.
You've done all you can for now to help him talk about his drinking pc.

My concern comes from the fact that he seems a bit volatile and that you feel you have to back off and dread his reaction. You'd rather spend time with the d-o-g :rolleyes:, and you're glad he's sleeping lots and you don't want him angry at you and you don't want him sniping at you. It gives the impression that you almost feel uncomfortable to say the least, in your own home, with your OH.

I'm not making any kind of wild accusations hun,;) , but just a little Tiffy caution for you...emotional abuse is as bad, if not worse, than physical abuse. A lot of people don't realise they're being abused, until they're way down the road. To be that way with someone who has mental ill health is even crueller, imho. I'm not saying OH is like this angel, I don't know him, but you shouldn't have to avoid your loved one or feel on edge in your home. Just thought I'd mention it sweetheart - there's plenty of help if you need it - so I hope you're not upset with me.

ilovegreatdanes I want a third star!!!!! its the little things that make you smile that matter isn't it. (Updated: I just realised I already have a third star... shows how much I notice )
PC/quote
lol :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:
Well done pc & ilgd!:T
I just realised I've been here a year in July!:eek:
Told you I haven't got a life!:D :rolleyes:
Anyhoo, I hope you have a great day hun - though it's likely to be a wet one. Thinking of you pc.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

BigMummaF

Morning! It's quite chilly at the mo, with a cold rain on & off, the stuff with big heavy drops. Not sure if I'm pleased, coz me muvva--Bless her--was going to get tickets for her & I to see 'Elvis' as she says.

I know she means well & I adore Elvis with a passion....but I can't sit through three hours of someone torturing The King in a "tribute" show! I've tried it before when a chap came over from the States who was supposed to be the world's greatest Elvis impressionist.........[silence---birds twittering----crickets cricketing----more silence]...he kept telling the audience how he is in such great demand on The Strip in 'Vagas & all I could think was bu88er off back then, on the next plane, I'll send your stuff on!:rotfl:

So if the rain prevents her from going out--I won't have to suffer. It can't be that good a show either cuz I looked to see if there were tickets available for this week & there's loads!

Perhaps now is the time to use Tulip's fairy dust, to help mum change her mind about going!;)

Peaceful Minds folks. BMFx

ps Tiff-you look great in the wedding photos! A you can see the family likeness with your mam...a good looking family with kind eyes & big hearts.....