Depression Support Thread

gillette147

andipandi wrote: »

you are all probably aware that i am a alcoholic but i am also a big fan of a group called barclay james harvest

regards

weird andy

What's their best album then?
I'll have a listen.

And welcome Tao:j

andipandi_2

hello folks,not getting on well with my other half at the mo,we are both 50% responsible for the situation

gillette147

No-one about?

Feel down at mo.
I ended it with g/f. We are talking on msn and she is upset and saying she loves me - which is hard to hear. I don't want to hurt her and don't want to fall out. This ending it without hating the other person is new to me. We are in different places and want different things. That doesn't make me angry - it's just a shame. It's not healthy for me to be in a relationship with her because of that. It's not good for my esteem to be in a half-relationship. It was making me bicker with her and I decided to end it rather than let it get ugly. But now I'm alone.

Life just doesn't feel real. I feel tired and numb all the time. Feel very alone. Being out of work leaves you permanently unsettled. I havent been off my land (i.e. been in house or garden) since I got back from brum on thursday. I'm lazy and don't want to make the effort to go anywhere or do anything and yet also life feels empty and without interest.

My arms ache all the time. The pain is like an anger, if that makes any sense. Maybe that's the feeling self-harmers get and harm to relieve. I wouldn't know. But I've had the sensation for over a month.

Always tired but don't want to sleep. Haven't had a hug for 6 weeks and not likely to get one anymore.

Wondering what the point of life is. Dragging along really.
This is a cheery post for you all to wake up to....

xxx

Tiff_2

Hi gilly!:hello:
Hope you're feeling a little better this morning hun.

Firstly hun, it doesn't matter that yours was the first post I woke up to - you don't decide when you're feeling low and it doesn't matter.;)
Let's have a look here angel...


quote=gillette147;No-one about?
Feel down at mo.
I ended it with g/f. We are talking on msn and she is upset and saying she loves me - which is hard to hear. I don't want to hurt her and don't want to fall out. This ending it without hating the other person is new to me. We are in different places and want different things. That doesn't make me angry - it's just a shame. It's not healthy for me to be in a relationship with her because of that. It's not good for my esteem to be in a half-relationship. It was making me bicker with her and I decided to end it rather than let it get ugly. But now I'm alone.
The first thing I'm going to say is that I'm sorry about you feeling so low and breaking up with gf gilly hun.

Again I see different problems being melded together, making one big snowball. If we break it down into Tiff-sized pieces, I see your issues as
- your mental health,
- your physical health,
- your relationship,
- work.

Was there no way of working things out angel? You sound most reluctant to be ending the relationship and don't want to be alone you say.

No-one would want things to get ugly gilly, so I applaud you for thinking of gf's feelings, but I can't help but wonder if the way you feel is down to your mental ill health atm?

As gf loves you, she's going to want to help you and I think that you maybe feel that would make things harder for you.
Sometimes when we get very low, we feel we need that breathing space and we can feel that everything in our lives is a problem and we don't want to be dealing with it. May I respectfully suggest hun that maybe you could compromise and tell gf that you're in a very low place right now, and need to sort some things out and then you could meet up again and see what happens? It doesn't have to be all or nothing angel.;)

Life just doesn't feel real. I feel tired and numb all the time. Feel very alone. Being out of work leaves you permanently unsettled. I havent been off my land (i.e. been in house or garden) since I got back from brum on thursday. I'm lazy and don't want to make the effort to go anywhere or do anything and yet also life feels empty and without interest.
I think we both know it's time to see your dr hun, don't you?
You sound very depressed and this could be the root cause of most of your issues. It will affect how you see your gf, physical health and work. It colours all parts of our lives hun - and the colour is usually black.
This all sounds like depression talking to me. Instead of being so hard on yourself, why not accept that you're feeling ill as the reason? How can you be ready for work when you feel like this angel?

I know you'll feel that it's a waste of time gilly based on past results,:o but I think you should see a gp about your physical problems and get some support for mental ill health issues. They'll only know how poorly you are if you keep going back, no matter how many times it takes.

You'll need to keep an open mind hun, as to the dr's suggestions.
I know your gp's counsellor's service didn't suit you angel, but the gp can refer you for a higher calibre of counselling, maybe with a psychologist, or to the CMHT for more support. Please see the gp hun and see what they can do for you. You seem to be in a lot of distress and that's not going to go away without help hun.

My arms ache all the time. The pain is like an anger, if that makes any sense. Maybe that's the feeling self-harmers get and harm to relieve. I wouldn't know. But I've had the sensation for over a month.
Always tired but don't want to sleep. Haven't had a hug for 6 weeks and not likely to get one anymore.
These physical symptom need looking into regardless of anything else hun, so that should be top of your list. Being exhausted isn't going to help you feel well either.
You sound so alone angel and I know you don't want to be. It doesn't have to be over with gf necessarily hun, as I said before. Can you honestly tell her what you're going through? Can you honestly tell yourself, or do you feel quite lost? Again, your gp is the gateway to services hun and you deserve to get that chance.

Wondering what the point of life is. Dragging along really.
This is a cheery post for you all to wake up to....
xxx/quote
The point of life, imho, is that it's been given to you.
It goes right and wrong and good and bad. But you can have a happy life gilly, even if you can't see that yourself. No-one expects you to see the light when you're so low hun.

So, this is my essay for you to wake up to angel. You can take action by seeing your gp today (as an emergency appt if necessary) and opening up to them totally. You're crying out for help and I hope you'll see the dr gilly. Don't give up on yourself hun - we won't! Keep talking to us angel, but please make that call. That's the only way things can really start to change.
I'm thinking of you hun.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

Hi guys!:hello:
I hope we all made it through the weekend safe and sound?
Another lovely dawn, sunny and cool - though I hear rain is coming, so don't break out the swimwear just yet.;)
Good luck to everyone with tests, appointments, counselling, meetings and treatment this week. Good luck for tonight sazzy. I'll be thinking of you all.
And to our new friends! I'm sure you've already had chance to see just how wonderful the people on here really are.:T :A Please feel free to make yourselves at home.;)

To ethel, sazzy, stenny, elona, rose, gilly, rbk, zippy, bmf, blinky, beer, dawny, sf, goldie, ilgd, sh, miro, katie, rovers, andi, ltd, gem, cb2, pumpkin, flissy, sandy, ltf, bunnie, lrs, qb, dmg, pink, r28, pc, kaz, stebiz, ethansmum, roxsi, judderman (jd), tao, et al, , - I'm sending you all huge Tiffy hugs (but no blue smarties!:D ) with best wishes for your day.
Be kind to yourselves guys and take care.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

BigMummaF

Morning All.

Can I say that I too, have noticed a difference in my mental wellbeing when I eat 'properly'. If I go more than four days without fruit or veg, my ability to cope begins to wain. I've come to the conclusion that because of my recent tummy bug forcing the issue, I'm dragging my toes behind the wagon as I desperately try to avoid falling off the damned thing!:eek:

Scuse the flirtiness, but I'm sending :grouphug: to Gill--many a time I've sat on the stairs willing someone--anyone--to knock the door & just give me a hug & tell me it's going to be fine. But I also knew that if they did, I would be screaming inside for them to qiz orf n leave me alone!

Relaxation classes may be a way to go, or just try yourself at home. I found the visualisation to be most helpful, but others :T for the CDs you can get that talk you through specific exercises to tense & relax muscle groups. HTH

To each & all, on this day, I wish you Peaceful Minds folks. BMFx

Tiff_2

Hi ethansmum!
How are you feeling hun?

quote=ethansmum;
Can I please join the club?
Of course you can hun - come on in and pull a chair.;)

I've been depressed since the birth of my 3rd child last year. I know its awful to say, but I didn't want a boy (I already have one of each) I was so certain I was carrying a girl so when he popped out I was devastated. When he was 2 weeks old we moved into my 'supposed' dream house -thats another story though. My daughter suffers from acute eczema and now the baby has it very badly too. So instead of the adorable girl I longer for, I got lumbered with an itchy, red and sore boy. I try to love and cuddle him but hes not that type of child- he doesn't like to be fussed over. I've been diagnosed with PND but I didn't find that the medication helped. I have bullying neighbours from hell, and I feel trapped at home. Most of all I'm so lonely.
Thank you for letting me vent my sadness.
Tracy/quote

I have to say well done on being so honest angel. That can't have been easy.:T

From reading through hun, it seems that a lot of big things were going on at the same time - you had the birth of your 3rd child - 2 of them have bad, painful eczema - you have PND - you don't sound as if you've got any support - and you moved house too! Oh - and I'm sure you've sent yourself on a long guilt trip also. So excuse the heck out of me, but it's a wonder you're still standing sweetheart!:o

I don't doubt that you love your children emum.;)
From just before your second son was born, you were already under huge stress getting ready to move house.
I can't say why you felt so devastated angel - I'm no professional - but it sounds as if you were already low before you gave birth. Hormones can be nasty things.

Now if a man had suggested a connection with hormones, he'd have been torn to shreds!:eek: :rolleyes:

Giving birth has a huge impact on your life hun. You were diagnosed with PND and given meds. May I ask if you were as open and honest with your gp as you have been here sweetheart? Did you go back to the gp when you thought the meds weren't working? There may have been an alternative.
I think you should go back to your gp sweetie and take your post with you to save you trying to find the words. I think it would be a good idea to see what your gp thinks and bring them up to date with everything.;)

Am I completely wrong in thinking that maybe you feel a little rejected by your son not wanting cuddles etc. and him being so independant? Quite a natural response emum.;)
This will serve him in good stead as an adult and as he goes through school hopefully, being an independant person. Also hun, maybe it's just too painful for him to get cuddled.

Bullying neighbours and feeling trapped in your house - it's no wonder you feel lonely tracy!:o

How old are your other children hun? Is there an OH around to share the burdens with? Does he know how you feel? Do you have any family locally for support?
There's a charity called Homestart which helps struggling families with children under 5. I'd also suggest any mother/baby groups, but I'm sure you've already thought of that and maybe don't feel ready for that.
Another thought is to visit social services and see if they have any help on offer.

As for the neighbours hun, what are they doing to you?
If you've got a problem with them, you can discuss the issue with the council's housing officer or if it's a private home, you can talk in confidence to your local police or your community support officers. If you don't want them to come to your house angel, you could ask to meet them somewhere or go to the station. I would also recommend a visit to CAB to get their professional advice too.;)

I can understand how isolated you must feel and you probably don't feel like going out there and socialising right now. By making plans to solve these other issues, it will hopefully give you some confidence back and that will take a lot of pressure off you hun. That's when you'll feel more ready to let the world back in tracy. Again, there is help with this available.;)

Please don't feel embarrassed angel. You can rant here at any time.;)
Who knows, we get a lot of 'lurkers' on here who read but don't post, and you may have helped someone else by opening up. You are not the only one in this situation and help is available.
Please make an appt to see the gp hun - don't waste any more time on starting your recovery. Keep us posted angel and you know where we re if you need us.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

slowlyfading

Good morning everyone :hello:
Just been for a run and realise how unfit i am. going to go tomorrow morning as well. hope everyone is okay, and that you all have a nice day. I'm off to work in a bit
sf x x

Tao81

Hi Gillette147 :hello: Thanks for the welcome
So sorry to hear about your break-up and just how hopeless you are feeling. Can't find a hug icon on here.....So have a traditional one.....Here goes take a deep breath 'cos I squeeze hard when I really mean it!!!...........!!!!!!!!!!!!!!{X}}}}}}
Hope things get better soon, will keep reading your posts and BTW I didn't mind waking up to your post at all, gets a bit boring to hear just whizz bang, fizzy, popping lines of happiness all the time!!!! Let it out, a problem shared is a problem halfed as they say;)

Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.
- Unknown.

geminilady wrote: »

Hi Tao:hello: Welcome to the thread,it is a bit quiet tonight but i am sure others will be along to welcome you tomorrow.In my opinion mental health problems can run in famillies.My mum had what they now call social phobia and took medication most of her life.She also had a breakdown when i was about two and my grandma had to move in for a while to look after myself and my brothers.How this effected me i don't really know but i have suffered with depression on and off for years.I was interested to read about the Patrick holfield book,what sort of diet does he recomend?I have changed mine quite a bit in the last few years and eat a lot healthier,fruit and vedge,fish for the omega 3 and i must admit i feel a lot better for it.

Hello geminilady :wave:

Sorry to hear you had to live with mental illness as a youngster.
I'm sure this had a monumental impact on my personality as an adult, as I've always been a shy anxious sort of individual (although granted with a big attitude sometimes :rotfl: ).
Find it difficult to trust people easily yet can get emotionally 'mugged' by people who are charming enough to adequately cover the fact that they have psychopathic/sociopathic tendencies and won't think twice about 'doing you over', once they have identified your vulnerabilities, regardless of how good you've been to them?!! - Bullies basically! It's all about hard nosed boundary setting and not letting anyone cross your boundaries until you give them full permission........It can involve a lot of strategic planning and sometimes constant changing of tactics to stop some people 'getting in' and having a pop at you!.
How's the saying go?......
If someone makes a fool of you once it's THEIR FAULT.....If they make a foul of you twice....It's YOUR FAULT!!!!
and
"Only once you remove the bad from your life, can you make room for the good to move in!" (this is so true in my opinion, but can be so difficult to accomplish sometimes!!! Although I seem to be cracking this one at the moment big time Yiphee :j Only taken me 44 yrs to learn!!)

Over the years, on reflection my mother seems to me to have been psychopathic by nature, which is probably why I 'learned' to be dragged into allowing people to behave so badly towards me! Although I'm no expert, only have a smattering of knowledge regarding psychology, when I read about psychopathic behaviour, it feels so familiar compared with a lot of the treatment I received via my relationship with my mother and my Ex-partner (my daughters father, finally left after suffering the very painful and confusing experience of domestic violence, both physical and mental).
There's something psychologists call 'unconscious fit' which appears to be that subconsciously we are attracted to people who behave in a way which we recognise as familiar and therefore (even though negative for us) are attracted to!! Fits with my experience, although I'm not seeking to blame others for my failings, we are all responsible for ourselves as adults. Hence, why I am working so hard to learn from my mistakes!

Doing my best to stay well clear of people like this. However, these types are so 'clever' and manipulative (and apparently so common to find) that it is difficult not to get drawn in regularly during your lifetime?!!!!..... Which translates into often being left picking up the pieces and try to deal with the damaging scars they manage to so enjoy inflicting on you!
(Oh! Haven't I woken up in a rambling mood this morning?!! Excuse me??!!!:o )
I'm not feeling sorry for myself by the way, far from it. We all experience these events, I've not been somehow specially singled out for it, but what makes me suffer so horribly is that I'm not naturally a hard-nosed, self-centred type and therefore, often don't see others crasness coming and managed to put myself right in the firing line of some really big body blows!!:rolleyes:
(I can get really deep sometimes....Just smack me! and tell me to 'wind my neck in' when you feel the need?!!!:rotfl: )

Patrick Holford's books are very detailed discussions about the body's biochemistry and how we can change/enhance our body's functioning primarily through diet and additional suitable supplementation of nutrients. http://www.patrickholford.com/content.asp?id_Content=1

If you you want to talk further about this then please feel free to pm me, I'll try to pass on any gems I may have picked up over the years (for what they're worth?!). It is a jungle out there and depression is difficult enough to cope with daily without having to take on the huge task of trying to find a successful treatment plan for yourself!!!

Thought for the day:

"Never frown when youre down, you never know whos falling in love with your smile"
- Unknown.

Have to go connect with my day now......Take care ALL...... TTFN xxxxxxxx

Tulip

:hello: Everyone,

Morning! hope you are all well,I am fine today,rang parents and mum said I sound a lot brighter I feel brighter in myself but then later I expect I will feel low again.

Gilly sorry to hear about breakup with GF. *hugs*

Sf hope you are ok

everyone I havent mentioned hi and hope you all have a lovely day


love and light,

Katie xxx