Can He Throw Me Out.

mountainofdebt

Oh and if you do have a joint credit card (and I presume he's the main card holder) I would check that he hasn't closed it without telling you.

Could be pretty embarrassing if he has

Gavin83

Were I in his position the first thing I'd do (before I'd even told you it was over) is close the joint accounts. Best check it as anyone in their right mind would do this.

rpc

tinkerbell28 wrote: »

She is married, it's the marital home. He can't kick her out and she will retain more power/right if she stays.

But he can ask her to leave, which is effectively what he has done.

It seems clear that the relationship is over, the reasons are immaterial.

OP cannot be forcibly evicted, but it seems sensible to start making a plan to live elsewhere.

marisco_2

Poppops wrote: »

It was a stupid thing to do, but in no way was it worse or even as bad as him having a six month affair which ended in pregnancy and your devastation.

I would look at this as a kick up the backside. He obviously has double standards.

You forgave him much more. I would leave him to his self-pity if I were you

Betrayal is betrayal. It makes no difference whether someone has a full blown affair or a one night stand. Both have the same devastating affect on a marriage, shattering any trust and respect that was once between a couple. If a relationship is based on who can forgive and forget the most, then it is completely broken and both parties are best walking away from it.

Poppops

marisco wrote: »

Betrayal is betrayal. It makes no difference whether someone has a full blown affair or a one night stand. Both have the same devastating affect on a marriage, shattering any trust and respect that was once between a couple. If a relationship is based on who can forgive and forget the most, then it is completely broken and both parties are best walking away from it.

And I didn't say otherwise if you read my post correctly. Although you are wrong.

A one night stand is just that. A full blown affair is, 'did he mean it when he wrote he loved me in that card. Did everyone else know. Did he always wish he wasn't lying next to me. Did they laugh at me behind my back' The list is endless.

What I did suggest is that the trust was broken in the first place by OP's husband and it is perfectly feasible that, as she didn't continue with anything after the one drink fuelled night, it could have been borne out of low self esteem.

I don't need anyone to tell me about betrayal.

However, the reason I commented was because I don't think she deserved some of the posts. She didn't ask to be judged. She asked if he could kick her out.

yvonne13_2

OP you've been married for 15 odd years and at no point did you see a solicitor to get your name added to the deeds. I don't know if doing that would've made any difference but that's what I would've done.

Going forward don't move out.......carry on paying bill's ect as that may help your case (not sure). You need to seek professional advice to see where you stand, I hope you all the best.

mountainofdebt

yvonne13 wrote: »

OP you've been married for 15 odd years and at no point did you see a solicitor to get your name added to the deeds. I don't know if doing that would've made any difference but that's what I would've done.

I have a feeling that you can't be named on deeds without being named on the mortgage as well

FBaby

A one night stand is just that. A full blown affair is, 'did he mean it when he wrote he loved me in that card. Did everyone else know. Did he always wish he wasn't lying next to me. Did they laugh at me behind my back' The list is endless.

It's a matter of perception. I personally think I could cope better if I found out that my husband had been having a full blown affair than a one night stand because in the instance of a full blown affair, I would accept that something is very wrong in our marriage, that he has either stopped loving me, or madly fallen in love with someone else. The result of it is that he is just a coward. A one night stand though is weakness at a different level. It means that our marriage is perfect in every way, but do to alcohol or one time argument already forgotten about, he is ruining the whole foundation of our settled life.

In the first case, there is nothing left to save in my opinion, in the second, there would be, but with trust massively shaken, I am not sure I could go on with the marriage, at least being happy in the marriage, and it might mean throw something that was really good away, for me, a much worse situation.

Laurajo_2

I agree with FBaby.

Having been in both scenarios, both are devastating, but when my ex had an affair, I was more gutted because the relationship was over and that he was in love with someone else. When another ex (I can't half pick 'em) confessed to a drunken s... on a lads holiday, it hurt more. I ended the relationship because I couldn't face the fact that he would risk it for a bit of drunken fun, and I would never be able to trust him again.

But, if it comes down to it, remember: the judge and solicitors don't give a damn who slept with who. It isn't a legal issue. You don't get a bonus for having kept your legs closed. They will try and divide up the marital assets (including the house) in the fairest way possible, as they see it.

tinkerbell28

rpc wrote: »

But he can ask her to leave, which is effectively what he has done.

It seems clear that the relationship is over, the reasons are immaterial.

OP cannot be forcibly evicted, but it seems sensible to start making a plan to live elsewhere.

Why? Like it or not. She's got a claim on the house. That claim is harder to enforce if she leaves.

I think peoples moral high horses are getting in the way of giving op good advice tbh.