Can He Throw Me Out.

frilly_knickers

Thank you for your replies, those that were helpful anyway. I really don't need people to remind me what I did was wrong. I don't think anyone of you has the right to do that.

However, I should say, that the night of the party, my husband and I had had a bad argument, which surprisingly enough were rare. I had a little too much to drink, and ended up kissing the guy in the bathroom, we had a fumble and I relieved him. That is all that happened, not even pleasurable for me really.

My husbands affair, as I said went on for three months, it only ended because she got pregnant and had to have a termination, which he paid for. Thats how it all came out.

I think this is a case of double standards, and apart from being concerned I am now angry after reading some of the replies.

We had got over the affair, it was difficult but everything was going okay. Having seen the advice of getting legal advice I have decided that next week I am going to make an appointment with a solicitor, I realised earlier that we have a joint credit card that we don't use, so I will use that to pay for any advice. A bit unkind on him but it's the only way I can pay.

I will however, over the weekend try and see if I can talk to him, although I don't seem to be getting anywhere. My children, both married, are furious, initially with me, but now won't speak to him, so all is not well here.

(Before anyone asks, they are my children, he has a son who does not know about things yet)

FBaby

The problem is, everyone react different to whatever kind of unfaithfulness act. It might very well be that it is not the event itself that made him decide that he wants to separate, but that he is finding that he can't trust you again. You were able to, that doesn't mean he can, and if he feels he can't trust you again, it might be that the love has gone to. Only he knows, but in the end, you can't tell him that he has no right not to forgive you because he did. He can do what he wants and if moving on is what he thinks is right for him, then you will have to accept it.

creativemieu

Do you have family or friends you could go to? It might be a good idea to put some space between you and your husband to defuse the situation. I think that there are mediation services now (in place of legal aid) CAB will be able to tell you if that is correct and the route to go. But my view is it would be best to let him win a small battle - move out and put that space between you and begin negotiations either for reconciliation if you want it or divorce and split of assets if you don't want him back. You never know, he may well calm down and start to think more forgivingly/rationally when he is all alone.

tinkerbell28

Two things.

It's the marital home. He can't throw you out.

You leave, it weakens your position on a claim for the house and to stay there.

If you get legal advice they will tell you that, which is why his solicitor so trying to scare you/pressure you into leaving.

Don't follow well meaning advice on here about space and such like.

kboss2010

frilly_knickers wrote: »

I don't flirt, and it is out of character. He had an affair with a girl in his office 3 years ago, it lasted for around 6 months. So I don't feel he is being reasonable. He hasn't mentioned divorce, just wants me out. I am scared to leave the house in case he changes the locks.

I agree that I did wrong, and have tried to make amends, but now he won't even talk to me, he won't eat anything I cook, does his own washing, and has moved ME into the spare room.

The common law spouse rules may apply, especially if you can prove that you have contributed financially but, really, he cheated, you cheated, why do either of you want to save this relationship? Neither of you sound happy.

I'd cut my losses and lawyer up.

Also, learn the lesson. No person in a relationship should ever leave themselves with no monetary assets/savings of their own. Things happen and if you're completely financially reliant on your partner then that can leave you in a very difficult position.

hawk30

kboss2010 wrote: »

The common law spouse rules may apply, especially if you can prove that you have contributed financially but, really, he cheated, you cheated, why do either of you want to save this relationship? Neither of you sound happy.

I'd cut my losses and lawyer up.

Also, learn the lesson. No person in a relationship should ever leave themselves with no monetary assets/savings of their own. Things happen and if you're completely financially reliant on your partner then that can leave you in a very difficult position.

What common law spouse rules? If you mean the so-called common law wife, there is no such thing in England and Wales. But that doesn't matter since they are married.

seashore22

Two things:


1) They are married.


2) No such thing as common law spouse.

kboss2010

seashore22 wrote: »

Two things:

2) No such thing as common law spouse.

Even if you're not married (in Scotland at least), you potentially have some entitlement to remain in a property if you can prove that you have jointly contributed to it. It isn't called a common law spouse but it's semantics. My (albeit poorly worded) point was that the OP may be entitled to stay whatever the marital status.

whitewing

In my book, you relieving him is exactly as bad as sleeping with him.

lucym

whitewing wrote: »

In my book, you relieving him is exactly as bad as sleeping with him.

The OP didn't ask for opinions on that.