Money and Me - A Love/Hate Story

Busymumofthreeplusdog

skintygerlinky wrote: »

Hiiyerrrr Diva-y-doos,

Am at uni and should be studying but oh well here we are!!

Yes old Skinty back on track, a bit. Crrrrrrap night's sleep though.

Hmmmm. Money, then.

Counted up all purchases over March and it was pretty horrific. Not by usual spending standards of days gone by/yesteryear/days of yore but by the budget I'm on at the mo...yes, pretty horrific.

Realise sat here right now that once again I lost the run of myself just like in bygone times because I had a pretty rubbish month on the personal front - burglary, bereavments, court cases, some friends really p**$ing me off....so, it would appear then, that the best way to combat this is to announce to self that I can't possibly stick to a budget, how can I, I'm UPSET CAN'T YOU SEE???!!

Ohhh its yesterday once more isn't it!!

It's all quite clear now. I'm honestly not beating myself up here - I really needed to spend quality time with lovely people last month. But it just cost money I don't have right now.
I'm not including Mothers Day or loved ones birthdays here - I have actually budgeted for those. But its the other bits...

In a nutshell - it seems that when we need cheering up or want to cheer someone else up, we inevitably spend quite a lot of money.

I also wonder if this attitude of 'ah blow it out the water for now' is present in me because I'm single and don't have kids...surely if I had those responsibilities I wouldn't feel like this??

Enough. Square the shoulders, we are where we are. Lets do April!!

Any thoughts, Divas??

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YTaWayUE5XA

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I have 3 kids and often have the attitude of "a blow it" as you so politely put it! Less so with money but more so with food & drink:o

I wonder if re-evaluating your long term aims and how you plan to achieve these in small steps might help, this might in turn help you to refocus and keep you on track. I think something visual and big that you can pin on your wall and mark of each step as you achieve it. Add in little rewards at crucial points as we all need these to keep motivated;)

Just thoughts....x

in_need_of_direction

You just need to read a few more diaries if you really think that the scr*w it attitude is informed by you not having kids. Sometimes you need to cut yourself some slack

mothernerd

Sometimes its better to have a little 'blow out' rather than deny yourself to the point where you explode. I used to find myself feeling a bit down/off when it was that time of the month (even after having a hysterectomy I knew when it was). I learned to take notice and had a list of free/ cheap things that would help. Sometimes I would take a few pounds (only £5 or £10) and go round the charity shops. I like reading, scented candles (would only get a votive size one but cinnamon is cheery), buy a small chocolate bar (rather than the family bar later). Cheer up activities bubble baths, dancing round the front room, already mentioned silly, soppy films (if I really want to cry I watch lassie), comforting soup, fresh salad (lettuce is good for depression), long walks (among the trees if possible - and I don't mean the estate round the back). Wearing perfume is good and sometimes I wear bangles or a little elephant keyring I attach to a lower buttonhole on my cardigan - I call these my 'portable rainbows' - every time the bangles jangle or the elephant hits my thigh as I move, I try to remind myself of something good/beautiful/ a kind act.

By being aware of my body and how I'm feeling and employing these little tricks I can often ward off depression before it gets to the all enveloping fog stage. Don't beat yourself up, you came off the bike, get back on, don't abandon the bike and phone for a taxi. It's only a blip, you'll still get there in the end (just tot up how much you used to get through and multiply by the 3 months you have been trying this for - you're at least that much better off). You are forming new habits, it takes a while, some will become automatic after a while.

One of the other threads I follow, a lot of the people have serious health problems or are caring for others and as a result, household chores have slipped. They have banded together and encourage each other to take 'baby steps' and congratulate each other on what they achieve - sometimes they only manage 15 minutes work in a day but they do what they can and focus on that, not on what is still to be done.

You are juggling work and study in addition to this, celebrate what you have done. You are making progress. This is my song for the month (lot going on , might need it).
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d-diB65scQU
but these should get you moving
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PIb6AZdTr-A
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iPUmE-tne5U
they did me and I was in bed at the time - good job I've lost weight, I don't think the bed could have taken it.

Hugs

girlatplay

mothernerd I really like your post.

I do think it is best to have a treat section built in to your budget. I think I originally read that on MSE'r mooomin's diary. She said she had to build treats into her budget or she would never have been able to get debt free as she would have had blow-outs all the time.

Don't be disheartened skinty. You have had a HUGE amount to deal with in the past wee while or so. Just pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start again. Baby steps, like mothernerd said.

I have that blimmin' Carpenters song in my head now! My dad was a big fan of Karen Carpenter and we heard a lot of Carpenters music growing up. I think I know all the songs off by heart. He still puts it on in the car now and then.

skintygerlinky

Hi Divas xxxxxxxxxxx

Thank you Thank you Thank you xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Reply properly tomorrow! xxxxxxxxxxxx

skintygerlinky

Happy Sunday Divas xxxxxxx

I've got 'Sunday Night' feeling, how about anyone else?! Had lovely lazy day today which was long overdue but need to do about an hour's worth of uni work now and have got a full on mega busy day tomorrow. Wanted to work from home but there's no way this poor computer will take it so up to uni it is!

Sunday Night Feeling there, but mild compared to how it was in my last job. In the last few months before I left it used to kick in around Saturday teatime. When I tried to explain it, people who didn't have the same job as me would understandably tell me not to be daft so I didn't mention it to them.
My colleagues understood though - but it meant talking about how we felt which meant realising that there was very little we could do in our situation. So we just...didn't talk about it.

Oh dear. I feel badly for how that job turned out but overall....so so glad I'm out of it. Friends and family now say that I just lost the ability to laugh around that time, which makes me sad to think about it.

But! I got out. And here we are!

Some fab words of wisdom in earlier posts, thank you Divas xxxx. Everyone is right in suggesting small ways to treat one's inner Diva and I'm back to fully embracing that lifestyle!!

So. Food, Divas. FOOD!!!

Food. Ah it's great isn't it?? I also love to cook so that is easily one way I can treat myself. Possibly the best way??
Today I've made some sweetcorn fritters for brekkie with extra avocado and maple syrup, I've made a vat of carrot and lentil soup and also finished off the risotto I made last night.

Food, Divas. FOOD!!

Ah how I love thee. How I love to chop and dice you. How I love to buy two YS celeriacs, get them home, look at them with a narrow-eyed sideways glance and say 'now then. What to do with you??'

(Potato and celeriac soup, celeriac mash and roast celeriac. I think I actually smell of celeriac. I also like saying 'celeriac' in my Scouse voice ie 'ssseleerrrrriiiacckkkk')

Are we foodies, Divas?? Even on a small, mediocre scale like me?? Do you enjoy cooking? What are your fave things to rustle up? Do you follow recipes or make it up or are you somewhere in the middle??

Let us know! (mmmm. Lettuce. Crisp cos, springy baby gem. Baby gem lettuce is nice in pea soup)

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in_need_of_direction

This afternoon I made a monster size pot of stew. For me, food is one of the ultimate feel goods. I've quite narrow tastes but will happily be more adventurous for others. Having said that, OH is a good cook and enjoys it so I generally let him get on with it. Btw, nothing is good in pea soup. Peas, like peppers, are the work of the devil. Also in this category is any type of fruit with hairs e.g. Raspberries, kiwi, etc and as for blueberries! Since when was food without mould blue?

Busymumofthreeplusdog

I'm not a big fan of cooking, eating yes, cooking no. :rotfl:
My Busy is a good cook and enjoys it, so I let him get on with it. Until I get fed up with all the spicy stuff( he doe as like the spicy stuff does Mr Busy:eek:).I prefer baking myself.;)

If I do cook it tends to be fish pie, lasagne, chilli(and other mince based dishes). Or soup I make a mean carrot & coriander soup........:)

girlatplay

I quite like to cook but only when I am in the mood. Generally it is the usual type of dishes (spag bol / chilli / etc) and it doesn't really get more exciting than that. Unless I am in supercook mode! Not very often though. I do love soup.

I don't like peas either. I choked on one once and thought I was going to die. I don't want to go at the hands of a small, green round thing smaller than my thumbnail. Put me off. I am now brave enough to have a small spoonfull to show willing when mum has heated them but that's about it. Can't stand pea soup, just the flavour brings back the nightmares. Quite like peppers though, not green though. I do like green veg, just not peas or peppers! Never tried celeriac (which from now on I will say in a Scouse accent in my head, whether I like it or not).

I am wittering. Sorry.

Magsnoodle

Food Gloriious food..... Have just had bubble and squeek made from left overs from Sunday dinner - really taking to this frugal lifestyle....

How's uni going? Not sure I ever asked you what you are doing there and is it everything you hoped for? Keep going you can do it AND the nights are getting lighter...

The world is beginning to look better.

Take care xxx