Rubbish days

Metranil_Vavin

Thanks everyone. It's nice to just read some 'real' experiences of motherhood, alongside the fluffy 'yummy mummy' one's I sometimes feel everyone else is living except me!

I don't think motherhood has ever come easily to me, and I do my best but somedays I struggle a bit with it all, particularly the tiredness both mental and physical. I also constantly feel guilty that I am not doing enough to keep my 3 year old occupied.

It made me laugh the other day as I said to him ' shall we go to the park today and feed the ducks?' to which he replied 'no thanks..I want to stay at home and play with my toys'!!

I could have wept with joy as dragging my ar5e down to the cold muddy park yet again was not something I was relishing! :rotfl:

Big congrats on your recent arrival btw TeamLowe I have been stalking you

notanewuser

Metranil_Vavin wrote: »

I don't think motherhood has ever come easily to me, and I do my best but somedays I struggle a bit with it all, particularly the tiredness both mental and physical. I also constantly feel guilty that I am not doing enough to keep my 3 year old occupied.

It made me laugh the other day as I said to him ' shall we go to the park today and feed the ducks?' to which he replied 'no thanks..I want to stay at home and play with my toys'!!

I could have wept with joy as dragging my ar5e down to the cold muddy park yet again was not something I was relishing! :rotfl:

I only have a 3 year old (39 months), who is and always has been a pretty easy child, but I feel just as you do. I worked for 18 years in demanding jobs before having her and never felt as knackered as I do now. Even when DH is home (he works away when he needs to) it can be hard work, especially now that DD has developed her willfulness (a real challenge to my "gentle, child-led" parenting approach!).

I find it best to ignore what the world says. Days indoors are okay. Cbeebies is okay (mostly). Hell, staying in pyjamas all day and watching the raindrops race down the window can be the most fun. Get a jumperoo or equivalent for the wee one - a brilliant thing for giving you 15-20 minutes without babe on your hip to have a cuppa or to play with your older child. Breathe deep, don't over think, don't compare, enjoy this time - it soon shall pass.

Metranil_Vavin

I do actually have a Jumperoo..it's currently residing in the loft, I'm intending on digging it out as soon as DD can hold herself upright a bit more. It worked a dream with DS..fab thing!

Thanks..I know ignoring what the world says is the thing to do. My mum never did huge amounts with us when we were kids, save the odd trip to the park, and we turned out ok(ish) I also remember with nostalga watching Rainbow, Finger Mouse, The Flumps etc, which I guess are the equivalent to today's Mr Tumble and In the Night Garden!

Prior to having my son I did NCT classes, which were great in that I met a bunch of really nice girls (and blokes), who were a godsend in those early days of early first time motherhood when I needed lots of support. I still see most of them, in fact we are having a joint 3rd birthday party this coming weekend for all the kiddies.

However I also ran myself ragged doing every bl00dy baby group/baby massage/Sing and Sign/swimming/Monkey Music/Gymboree etc as that is what they were all doing. I was not only skint very quickly (these things cost a fortune), but I was also exhausted and stressed out much of the time, yet I felt i ahd to keep up with everyone else or DS would miss out. Ridiculous really as a baby doesn't care if he/she is at Gymboree or just playing about on a playmat at home! It was all for the mums.
This time round I haven't felt the need to be constantly seeing other mums and chatting over cups of tea and too much cake, and I think DD at 5 months old is happy with lots of cuddles, a good roll about on her playmat and the odd trip to the park. I do feel that DS needs to be more stimulated though, so try and get out at least once a day, but somedays it is just such a struggle, particularly if I've had a rough night with the baby the night before.

Lara44

I'm only halfway through my pregnancy and I'm feeling this way! Currently sat on the sofa eating chocolate while the ironing glares at me. I know I should be making the most of this rare time off before the baby arrives but to be honest I can't seem to get my backside lifted to do anything. Yet it's not like I'm really enjoying sitting here either. I reckon 'meh' describes it perfectly.

notanewuser

Metranil_Vavin wrote: »

I do actually have a Jumperoo..it's currently residing in the loft, I'm intending on digging it out as soon as DD can hold herself upright a bit more. It worked a dream with DS..fab thing!

Thanks..I know ignoring what the world says is the thing to do. My mum never did huge amounts with us when we were kids, save the odd trip to the park, and we turned out ok(ish) I also remember with nostalga watching Rainbow, Finger Mouse, The Flumps etc, which I guess are the equivalent to today's Mr Tumble and In the Night Garden!

Prior to having my son I did NCT classes, which were great in that I met a bunch of really nice girls (and blokes), who were a godsend in those early days of early first time motherhood when I needed lots of support. I still see most of them, in fact we are having a joint 3rd birthday party this coming weekend for all the kiddies.

However I also ran myself ragged doing every bl00dy baby group/baby massage/Sing and Sign/swimming/Monkey Music/Gymboree etc as that is what they were all doing. I was not only skint very quickly (these things cost a fortune), but I was also exhausted and stressed out much of the time, yet I felt i ahd to keep up with everyone else or DS would miss out. Ridiculous really as a baby doesn't care if he/she is at Gymboree or just playing about on a playmat at home! It was all for the mums.
This time round I haven't felt the need to be constantly seeing other mums and chatting over cups of tea and too much cake, and I think DD at 5 months old is happy with lots of cuddles, a good roll about on her playmat and the odd trip to the park. I do feel that DS needs to be more stimulated though, so try and get out at least once a day, but somedays it is just such a struggle, particularly if I've had a rough night with the baby the night before.

Snap re the NCT friends. We've always done a class together once a week since the babes were tiny, but ran out of steam with Monkey Music after about a year or so. We now meet up one afternoon a week (somewhere outdoors if dry, indoors if not).

I don't know where you are, but in England you're entitled to 15 hours a week of nursery provision for your son, aren't you? I started my daughter at a Welsh one last April (I paid) and she's just become eligible to the funding this month (we only get 10 hours here, and only if there's not a full time school nursery place for them in this area). She does 4 mornings a week during term time. It's made a huge difference to her and to me. I have time to work (from home) and do bits and pieces and she gets interaction, creative time, she's immersed in the Welsh language, and she's learning loads just through playing.

Metranil_Vavin

DS does actually already do 2 days a week at nursery and 1 at a childminder. I was working 3 days a week, so kept my childcare in place when I went on mat leave to keep the place as I am going back to work in June, and also as I just thought I'd crack with both at home full time.

I have nothing but admiration for women who are SAHM's. I just couldn't do it, and have always thought DS probably get's a lot more stimulation going to nursery and his CM a few times a week than he would being at home with me all week.

Metranil_Vavin

Lara44 wrote: »

I'm only halfway through my pregnancy and I'm feeling this way! Currently sat on the sofa eating chocolate while the ironing glares at me. I know I should be making the most of this rare time off before the baby arrives but to be honest I can't seem to get my backside lifted to do anything. Yet it's not like I'm really enjoying sitting here either. I reckon 'meh' describes it perfectly.

Lara enjoy being pregnant! It's exhausting at times so you should relax as much as you need to. Get OH onhand to help with chores round the house, and as for ironing..well I've never ironed anything in my life so my advice would be leave it! :rotfl:

Also once baby arrives you will be all consumed with it all, so make the most of just being a twosome whilst you can..life will never be the same again (in a good way)

Bennifred

Thank you ladies! :beer:
I was just having a rose-tinted moment of "I miss my boys being little" and you've just reminded me of the reality of it all!

Anyway - I am here as living proof that it is survivable, and to remind you all that no matter how "bad" you think you are being by not constantly being perfect: no-one is perfect and they won't actually remember these early years so don't feel guilty - good enough is good enough!

Also - save some strength for what is to come...... :rotfl:

pollyanna24

Ooh, I found it sooo hard when the kids were only a little bit smaller (they are 5 and 3), but we seem to have turned a corner where they are turning into normal (well normal for children) human beings.

I am so not a maternal person and went through hell for the first two years of my youngest daughter’s life. Their dad left me after 11 years when I really wasn’t in a state to cope with things by myself.

I used to beat myself up constantly about being a bad mum, feeding them parp cos that was all they’d eat etc. But now I don’t care. I do the best that I can, don’t get me wrong, but I don’t spend my life worrying about things anymore.

They don’t want to eat, that’s fine, they can eat tomorrow, it’s not like I didn’t try giving them food. They want to sleep in my bed, that’s fine, it means we all get sleep and it’s not like they’re going to be doing it when they’re 16.

Same goes for my youngest having a dummy and a bottle. People say I’m making a rod for my own back, but I just can’t be dealing with the hassle of taking them off her. She doesn’t have them that often, only when she’s tired and again, she won’t be doing it when she’s 16.

I also don’t stress about how much tv they watch. They both go to school (youngest only in the mornings), so they get stimulation there. And they don’t watch it all the time at home. Mainly when the evening is wearing down and they’re done making a complete mess of the house.

And the whole facebook thing. It’s true. People don’t put their bad days on there. I tend to avoid it now and just don’t post anything.

People have said to me they are small for such a short time, but when they are constantly whinging and clinging on to you so that you can’t go the toilet, it’s hard to see the good in comments like this. But I guess it’s true. Still I wouldn’t do the baby bit again for anything! Now my girls are getting older, I might actually enjoy the things they want to do. Like on Sunday, we are going to see Frozen in the cinema, yay!

notanewuser

pollyanna24 wrote: »

They want to sleep in my bed, that’s fine, it means we all get sleep and it’s not like they’re going to be doing it when they’re 16.

Same goes for my youngest having a dummy and a bottle. People say I’m making a rod for my own back, but I just can’t be dealing with the hassle of taking them off her. She doesn’t have them that often, only when she’s tired and again, she won’t be doing it when she’s 16.

My daughter has just given up her night time bottle of milk. It coincided with her wanting to stop wearing nappies at night time. She was old enough to understand that she couldn't have milk and no nappy as she would have to get up for a wee in the night, and she hates being woken up. She got it immediately.

She never had a dummy as she re-found her thumb at about 3 weeks. Just this week she told me one of her friends had pointed out the gap between her teeth. "That's because of your thumb," I said. I've explained that her grown up teeth will do the same if she keeps sucking her thumb. She hasn't stopped but tells me she's "thinking about it"! :rotfl::rotfl:

No way was I going to take things that cause no harm away for no reason other than other people thought I should.

DD has a cold and has slept in with me 4 nights in the past week. As we both sleep far better that way that's no issue whatsoever for me!

pollyanna24 wrote: »

People have said to me they are small for such a short time, but when they are constantly whinging and clinging on to you so that you can’t go the toilet, it’s hard to see the good in comments like this. But I guess it’s true. Still I wouldn’t do the baby bit again for anything! Now my girls are getting older, I might actually enjoy the things they want to do. Like on Sunday, we are going to see Frozen in the cinema, yay!

DD LOVED Frozen, but there are a couple of scary bits. If your children are more sensitive it might be worth preparing them for it.