Apologizing makes everything forgivable?

victory

All you hear these days in the news, politicians, footballers, celebs on twitter , people having affairs, messing up and then apologizing, so does that mean you can do and say whatever you feel like, hurt and upset people and then go ' oh sorry, didn't mean it' and that makes it all ok?

Domayne

To err is to be human...Or something along those lines.
People say sorry when they have done wrong and they know they have, whether they mean it or not - Others don't have to forgive them if they don't wish too...
It's better than not apologizing though?

victory

Domayne wrote: »

To err is to be human...Or something along those lines.
People say sorry when they have done wrong and they know they have, whether they mean it or not - Others don't have to forgive them if they don't wish too...
It's better than not apologizing though?

My train of thought would probably go along the lines of ' if you had not thought it/ acted it/ done it said it, you would have not caused hurt / pain, therefore would not have to apologize?

Mrs_Bones

No I don't think apologizing does always make everything all right but that's the seems to be the modern viewpoint. Also if an apology isn't sincere, it's just empty words, what's the point of it. I've rather have no apology than one everyone knew wasn't meant.

jjj1980

victory wrote: »

My train of thought would probably go along the lines of ' if you had not thought it/ acted it/ done it said it, you would have not caused hurt / pain, therefore would not have to apologize?

Victory!! Someone else with my way of thinking. I've always been if the mind that if what you are about to do/say will need to be apologised for later, then don't do/say it in the first place!

Domayne

victory wrote: »

My train of thought would probably go along the lines of ' if you had not thought it/ acted it/ done it said it, you would have not caused hurt / pain, therefore would not have to apologize?

This is true...but it comes back to my 'to err is to be human' comment...everyone makes mistakes, whether they mean to or not. Life isn't always that black and white

victory

jjj1980 wrote: »

Victory!! Someone else with my way of thinking. I've always been if the mind that if what you are about to do/say will need to be apologised for later, then don't do/say it in the first place!

It just seems empty and pointless, all these people forever apologizing, they must have know what they were doing or saying was wrong and would be caught out eventually but were happy to do it until the papers chased them or the wife found out and then it's flashing cameras, sheepish look and an apology ( probably written by someone else):D

jjj1980

Mrs_Bones wrote: »

No I don't think apologizing does always make everything all right but that's the seems to be the modern viewpoint. Also if an apology isn't sincere, it's just empty words, what's the point of it. I've rather have no apology than one everyone knew wasn't meant.

Completely agree with you here. In my opinion the only sincere apology is the one that never needs saying as nothing hurtful has been said or done.

victory

Domayne wrote: »

This is true...but it comes back to my 'to err is to be human' comment...everyone makes mistakes, whether they mean to or not. Life isn't always that black and white

No it's not but if you got away with it for say 5 years before you got caught out that doesn't make it any more right with an apology than if you were found out within 5 minutes:D

poet123

I think it depends on the act. Adultery, child !!!!!!, drink driving and things of that ilk, then doing them is clearly wrong, so don't do it.

Minor things, nasty comments said in the heat of the moment, gossip, etc, are human failings and so for me, not as black and white.

I agree though that an insincere apology is adding insult to injury. If you are really just sorry for being caught and not for the actual act, don't bother apologising.

CuppaTea

But its not always that cut and dry. People don't necessarily say or do things to deliberate ly hurt or offend others. I know at times I've unintentionally put my foot in it and had to apologise. My well intentioned comments were misconstrued. Therfore interpretation was different to theirs. I didn't sit there thinking what can I say or do to wind people up.