Apologizing makes everything forgivable?

jenhug

My ex sister in law believed that as long as she went to church every Sunday, all her actions would be forgiven, even though they were deliberate acts and she wasn't sorry.

She ruined my brothers life in ways I cannot bear to discuss. The tears are flowing at the thought of her.

I think if an apology is sincere it is easier to forgive, but it depends on the act.

FBaby

Surely that's something every parent teaches their kids? I had many 'sorry mummy, I didn't mean it..what's for dinner' line responded to 'it's not because you are sorry that it all magically goes away. If you do something that hurts someone one way or the other, you will have to find a way to make it up and more importantly show you've learnt your lesson so you won't do it again.

supersaver2

Raksha wrote: »

My Mum used to say 'you're not sorry, your only sorry you've been found out'...

Going back a few years now, my maths teacher use to say 'if you are that sorry you wouldn't have done it in the first place.' It took me a while for his words to make any sense to me.

Morglin

What I hate are apologies made on our behalf, by politicians, , for events that happened before anyone alive today was born, and which we had no control over....:mad:

In recent years, apologies have been issued on our collective behalf for slavery, several historical wars/invasions/occupations and the Irish potato famine! :wall:

How on earth can an apology be sincere when today's generations were not the cause of it?

It's all meaningless waffle so that politicians can feel self righteous.:mad:

Lin

picklekin

All depends on the nature of the apology, my OH has the habit of saying "I'm sorry I upset you", OK, so not sorry for the actual THING then? Makes me hopping mad, but he is a proud person and wont apologise for anything he does not consider 100% his fault!

Georgiegirl256

Domayne wrote: »

This is true...but it comes back to my 'to err is to be human' comment...everyone makes mistakes, whether they mean to or not. Life isn't always that black and white

Exactly this ^^^

Sometimes people don't mean to say something or make a mistake, but unfortunately that's part of life and it happens.

Georgiegirl256

victory wrote: »

It just seems empty and pointless, all these people forever apologizing, they must have know what they were doing or saying was wrong and would be caught out eventually but were happy to do it until the papers chased them or the wife found out and then it's flashing cameras, sheepish look and an apology ( probably written by someone else):D

Although if they didn't do this, everyone would be like "look at them, they don't even give a !!!!, no apology, nothing." So what they meant to do, just let it blow over?

I totally agree, an apology means nothing if it's empty and forced, but if they just sat there and did nothing, people would be "Ooo look at them, no remorse whatsoever".

tea_lover

What annoys me are repeated apologies for the same thing... if you were that sorry the first time you wouldn't keep doing it!! My OH does this and it drives me mad.

ETA: he does it about things like sock fluff on the floor, nothing serious!

catkins

lostinrates wrote: »

Have you never done anything wrong ? I know I have, all too often

Apologising might not make everything alright, but refusing to doesn't mean it never happened.

Which is worse, once the transgression is made?

I've done things wrong (nothing terrible) and apologised afterwards.


If you are talking about affairs though then no amount of apologising will ever make it right.


There is no excuse for having an affair so don't have one

unholyangel

Personally I think whether people are forgiven should depend on whether they're sorry they said it/did it, or sorry they said/did it and got found out/offended people?

If its the latter, they're not really sorry for the act, they're sorry for the reaction it received and that doesn't deserve any forgiveness in my book.