coworker enquiring about sexuality

terra_ferma

mattcanary wrote: »

is a man that constantly denigrates his own sex, thinking himself and all other men inferior to women.

haven't met many of those :rotfl:

Edwardia

Google Craigslist London, click on Casual Encounters and search on domme and you should find quite a few calling themselves worms or slaves, looking for a Mistress to treat them badly.

adouglasmhor

Edwardia wrote: »

Google Craigslist London, click on Casual Encounters and search on domme and you should find quite a few calling themselves worms or slaves, looking for a Mistress to treat them badly.

Just because they want to sub in relationshir/play doesn't mean they want to sub in real life all the time though. I know I don't.

Males subs straight and gay are ten a penny though.

prowla

terra_ferma wrote: »

So if they feel awkward it is their fault and they should out themselves so that you don't say certain things around them. What about not saying things that could make people feel awkward, particularly in the workplace? It's not just gay people (or whatever group) who feel uncomfortable, it's also people who are straight but may have a friend/relative who is gay, or just don't like prejudice (I assume you are talking about things like jokes and innuendo about sexuality/masculinity etc.)
I bet Edwardia hears all sorts of things when people assume she is straight and can say what they like about gay people...

Don't be silly; it's up to people what they want to do; I don't make the rules.

I'm just saying that some people have certain topics they might wish to avoid, and if you know what they are then you can steer clear.

It doesn't just apply to gay people, but that's this thread topic, so that's the subject matter.


As a forinstance, the other day, I was having a chat about someone who I knew who was born a man and then chose to have a sex change op, but they still stayed with their (female) partner. I said they had chosen to become a lesbian, which was vaguely amusing at the time. Had the actual person, been present, the topic would probably not have come up.

Prejudiced, innuendo, or just chit-chat; I'll let you decide, since you seem to have a handle on it.

Edwardia

terra_ferma wrote: »

I bet Edwardia hears all sorts of things when people assume she is straight and can say what they like about gay people...

Absolutely right. Then I have to decide, do I tell the person that I'm offended, which may lead to questions about my private life or even an argument, or do I just walk away and leave them to it.

My mother made the remark to me yesterday that there seem to be more gay people than there used to be. It's probably not true that the LGBT population has increased, it may be the case however, that more of us are visible. Not just famous people but ordinary peeps too.

I always have to decide, as a bisexual do I stick up for people in my community or say nothing to avoid questions and feel guilty afterwards.

burnoutbabe

I always make it clear that what people have said COULD be considered offensive (but in a "sure you don't mean it that way BUT" sort of smiling way). As who knows who could be listening that is affected/offended by what someone is saying. If someone is being casually homophobic, I may then casually mention going to visit my sister and her wife soon.

You have to be sensitive about many topics at work - for example if people don't have kids, its best not to be grilling people about whether they are intending to have kids one day (as who knows whether they are trying desperately or not). But thats the same for meeting people socially, just be sensitive to what questions you ask.

kwmlondon

mattcanary wrote: »

You sound like a somewhat humourless bureaucrat that over-analyses things.

What happens for a man in a predominantly female workplace or career - eg: floristry. Are then then subject to these same troubles in reverse?

Or maybe it just depends on the individual workplace and individuals within it. Most people just try to get on with each other the best they can for most of the time. And may make the ocasional mistake in this overall goal. Big deal.

And what riles me even more than a woman that automatically thinks men are inherently sexist, is a man that constantly denigrates his own sex, thinking himself and all other men inferior to women.

I can be hideously un-PC in context. When I'm with people who I know I can say the kinds of things that would - frankly - get me arrested if I said them in the workplace.

But that's with people who I know well and know me. We know each other's sense of humor and being the kind of people we are we know that it's a game to out-do each other.

At work I don't have the choice about the people I am around. They didn't chose to work with me. I want to make the workplace totally neutral and safe and if that makes it a bit boring then at least it's pleasant. Yes, maybe a bit anodyne and sterile, but we all rub along okay. It protects us not only from industrial tribunals, the whole PC thing, but it makes for a pretty efficient working environment.

There's a place for Chubby Brown and that place is not in the office!

ScorpiondeRooftrouser

kwmlondon wrote: »

There's a place for Chubby Brown and that place is not in the office!

When you find out where it is, let us know and we can put him there.

adouglasmhor

ScorpiondeRooftrouser wrote: »

When you find out where it is, let us know and we can put him there.

Royston Vasey?

kwmlondon

ScorpiondeRooftrouser wrote: »

When you find out where it is, let us know and we can put him there.

His turn as mayor of Royston Vasey was one of the highlights of League of Gentlemen. To be fair...