Worried

Artytarty

Yup,now is not the time for harsh comments!
For what it's with I speak to my daughters most days, and my son a few times a week as well.
So what, they are my family, I love them and and like to keep in touch!

lostinrates

tesuhoha wrote: »

She doesn't ring me everyday; she texts and it is unusual today because she is coming home/going on holiday on Sunday. I didn't text her for a few days recently and she asked me what was wrong. She is very independent but there is nothing wrong with us having a friendship. We are supposed to be going to the ballet tomorrow.

My husband has just told me off in the same fashion.

Its lovely you have a friend ship and its great you are close, and speaking everyday is fine, lots of people do it with their family.

But expecting to do it might be too much. .

When you see your daughter, and chat about it she might apologise and say she will but I suggest you redraw boundaries to say you both CAN but don't have to text daily.

I have one of my parents live with me most of the time but would find speaking to them every day they aren't here too much!

bluebeary

you sound like a brilliant mother, same as my mother who worries constantly about me, were not as close and we lead our own lives but i forget sometimes that i should call her to let her know im at least still alive and well, my brother actually told me to do this recently lol

and a good few years ago now we were all worried about my brother after the attack on canary wharf, he did phone eventually when he found out the news to let us all know he was alive and well with friends in a pub in black friars

so i should have known better when the clutha vaults were hit by a helicopter here in glasgow, my mother was phoning and texting me worried out of her mind, i did feel very guilty, hope you hear from your daughter soon x

tesuhoha

lostinrates wrote: »

Its lovely you have a friend ship and its great you are close, and speaking everyday is fine, lots of people do it with their family.

But expecting to do it might be too much. .

When you see your daughter, and chat about it she might apologise and say she will but I suggest you redraw boundaries to say you both CAN but don't have to text daily.

I have one of my parents live with me most of the time but would find speaking to them every day they aren't here too much!

To be honest, I don't really expect anything. I'm okay with no contact. I just want to know that she's alright. To have this kind of complete silence when I am supposed to be picking her up from the station later is worrying. If she just texted me one word it would be ok.

tesuhoha

bluebeary wrote: »

you sound like a brilliant mother, same as my mother who worries constantly about me, were not as close and we lead our own lives but i forget sometimes that i should call her to let her know im at least still alive and well, my brother actually told me to do this recently lol

and a good few years ago now we were all worried about my brother after the attack on canary wharf, he did phone eventually when he found out the news to let us all know he was alive and well with friends in a pub in black friars

so i should have known better when the clutha vaults were hit by a helicopter here in glasgow, my mother was phoning and texting me worried out of her mind, i did feel very guilty, hope you hear from your daughter soon x

Thank you. I know exactly where your mum is coming from. Silence is ok until a worrying situation occurs.

CustardAndPickles

If you're exceptionally worried, call her whilst she's at work - as the other poster has said - and if she's angry, tell her you were worried and you're sorry. I'd also try calling her flat, and if her flatmate answers, explain in a self-depreceiating way that you're concerned and say thank you nicely when you find out everything's okay

As for "when would I get worried" - realistically I'd get worried if she didn't turn up or make contact after a couple of hours had passed after the time she was due to arrive. At that point I'd call her local police force and explain why I was concerned, making sure to express that she's normally in touch. They'll send someone round to knock on the door.

tesuhoha

CustardAndPickles wrote: »

If you're exceptionally worried, call her whilst she's at work - as the other poster has said - and if she's angry, tell her you were worried and you're sorry. I'd also try calling her flat, and if her flatmate answers, explain in a self-depreceiating way that you're concerned and say thank you nicely when you find out everything's okay

As for "when would I get worried" - realistically I'd get worried if she didn't turn up or make contact after a couple of hours had passed after the time she was due to arrive. At that point I'd call her local police force and explain why I was concerned, making sure to express that she's normally in touch. They'll send someone round to knock on the door.

She would have left work by now. I haven't phoned because my husband says I'm being ridiculous. I am going to wait till later as you say to see if she turns up or makes contact. She is supposed to come home tonight so I hope by that time he will be concerned too.

lostinrates

tesuhoha wrote: »

To be honest, I don't really expect anything. I'm okay with no contact. I just want to know that she's alright. To have this kind of complete silence when I am supposed to be picking her up from the station later is worrying. If she just texted me one word it would be ok.

But you are expecting. Because its not getting what you expect that is making you worry, surely?


I understand you wanting to know she is alright but she is 27. You have described her as independent, and she lives away from home in a busy capital city, so we can presume she is not totally witless and has a decade-ish of adulthood under her belt.


I do think you sound really nice and loving. But 'just texting me one word it would be ok' is not, IMO, a particularly helpful reaction (for either of you) to a very adult child not being in contact for a day.

I hope she is fine, and that you are too, I really do understand you must be upset.

Domayne

I think most parents worry no matter what age you are
My mum worries about me if I'm an hour late and will call me, I still live with her and she always wants to know where I'm going when I go out - I don't mind this at all, she's my mum and you only get one, one day who knows...you might not get to talk to her again, so for the person who loves you unconditionally - always make time!
Like I said, I worry if my mum and dad are late home and call them to find out where they are as well

krlyr

If she's coming to yours tonight, maybe that's why she hasn't text?

I used to work with my mum so we'd chat daily, when I left that job to go somewhere new we kept in contact by text and messaging through Skype. But if I were due to go to hers for dinner, I'd probably not text - I'd save the conversation for when I saw her face-to-face