Breaking Through, Travelling On

smallholdingsister

Go you KC. You used your words!

Karmacat

smallholdingsister wrote: »

Go you KC. You used your words!

:kisses3: Thank you honey

Fortune_Smiles

Good for you Karma - you are the customer after all.

Fortune x

greent

Good stuff, Kc x

michelle09

Well done KC. We had this with the gardeners as well. (Or, I had it.) At least you sorted it in the end!

rtandon27

Well done KC - patronizing men are the bane of my existance so very happy to know you set him straight!

Knit_Witch

Well done KC!

ZTD

Suffolk_lass wrote: »

You know, I actually sold a car I had bought from new because I do not have to put up with patronising, supercilious men who think they know best. I was lied to, spoken down to ("there, there dear" type of comments) and was in danger of flooring the next misogynistic bar steward who did that to me.

Don't ever fall into the trap of thinking people do this "because you're a woman" or "because they know best". Essentially, they have an agenda and they are manipulating you to acquiesce to that agenda in whichever way will work. That often is patronisation, to try to destroy confidence, to using complicated jargon to try to bring self-doubt into your head about your level of knowledge and understanding. I've had those and more used against me.

My former director was very sensitive to "appearing stupid" so he got jargon used against him all the time. I, on the other hand, am not afraid to say "So how does that work?", "What does that do?", "What does that mean?" But I'm technical enough to make your nose bleed, so if I don't understand, the most likely explanation is bollox is being spoken.

In a recent project I was involved with we had the usual "we're cleverer than you" and "your colleagues didn't say that" etc. It culminated in one of the people elsewhere in the organisation making a public complaint to my section head (and everybody else CC:d on an email - including external people) about my "attitude". A guy who works for me went off with a bang over that. I, on the other hand, came this close to replying with the single word "LOL".

I prevailed in that instance.

Suffolk_lass wrote: »

I will never, ever buy another Fiat, and I am very happy to explain my experience to any women who may wish to avoid similar.

Friends don't let friends buy Fiats...

smallholdingsister wrote: »

"Do you want to ask your husband about that, luv?".

"He speaks more sense that yours does."

Karmacat wrote: »

Thank you for your support, you three. It's resolved now - he went away to buy the frame that was needed for that sort of upgrade, and came back with a printed quote for the work - the doorframe has to be hand built, can't be bought off the shelf, its a bit too narrow, so they're making it - at cost, "because we made a mistake", which is perfectly fine - he wasat pains to point out "its everything that needs to be done".

Getting (quite an elderly) chap to listen feels like a real achievement - thanks to Captain Awkward, I have quite a new way of going about these things. I don't mince my words at all (I'm scouse, after all!) but I'm perfectly polite, and I don't apologise for what I want, at all. I'll pay the going rate, but I want what I want, and I don't care that a builder thinks it's overkill. Happy sigh

Yes, I would always point out in this situation, there's only one person bringing money to the table - and that person is you.

beanielou

Glad it is resolved

gallygirl

Glad shed door issue has been resolved KC. Have you found the missing sim card?

Suffolk_lass wrote: »

You know, I actually sold a car I had bought from new because I do not have to put up with patronising, supercilious men who think they know best. I was lied to, spoken down to ("there, there dear" type of comments) and was in danger of flooring the next misogynistic bar steward who did that to me. I will never, ever buy another Fiat, and I am very happy to explain my experience to any women who may wish to avoid similar.

Your "builder knows best" tale resonates, as if you could not tell!

I used to do mystery shopping, oh I had some right shockers to write up from car showroom visits :eek:. I could not have been any blunter in my write-ups . Best was the chap who wouldn't give me a price for a car, just kept saying he could do it over a longer period if I couldn't afford it. He actually used the phrase 'don't worry your pretty head about it' :eek::mad::(. What was worse was that he kept it up even when I made it clear how unimpressed I was. Renault btw .

ZTD wrote: »

Friends don't let friends buy Fiats... .

Aw that's not nice , I had three Fiats and loved them all, really cheap to buy and run, reliable and the salesmen treated me like a responsible adult (which goes to show you can fool some of the people all of the time :rotfl:).