Would this annoy you or am I unreasonable

SavingPennies_2

I wouldnt mention the hair to her, from what you describe this will get her back up and shes likely to respond with getting upset. Just say "oh you know that money I was thinking would it be helpful for you if you give me it in x installments for x amount each Monday/whatever".

Twiggy_34

Sounds like you need to get her to sign up to MSE! Suggest she goes on the downshift challenge

If it were me, I would always prioritise any debts I have, but, if circumstances meant I was torn between paying of a debt or going out I couldn't possibly do it when I still owed people money and not feel bad about it. I'd be compelled to at least offer a token amount to show that I haven't forgotten and would comment that I know I shouldn't go out but it's so & so's birthday, or whatever reason justified going out and spending money that I could pay off my debt with!

Arthien

The main thing to remember is that you shouldn't be made to feel bad for asking for YOUR money back. You don't have to justify wanting it back, it's YOURS!

My SIL is a nightmare for doing this, she currently owes her mum and grandma well over £800 in total and then carries on like it never happened, leaving them both complaining to me and worrying that they're bad people for even considering raising the issue of repayment with her :mad:

Acc72

From experience in real life and also the many threads on this site (do a quick search) as your sister has already "defaulted" you are very unlikely to see the rest of the money.

In the meantime, this issue is very likely to cause a big problem.

It is difficult to give advice as we do not know the amount involved.

If the amount is too large for you to write off and move on in life, then you need to bite the bullet and speak with her - and as is often the case, the sooner the better.

AcidHouse

Tell her you want to start getting the money back from Feb onwards so she's got a heads up, and tell her how much you want each month. See what happens after that.

If she asks to lend money from you again, ask to see her last 2 bank statements and tell her you need to put a repayment plan together. Then she'll find someone else she doesn't have to reveal all her spending habits to, who will lend her money on the basis of trust. Sounds like she's breaking yours.

harrys_dad

You should only lend money to family and friends if you either:

Are prepared to write it off

or

Are prepared to spoil the relationship between you.

She is living beyond her means and that will eventually cause trouble that she cannot borrow her way out of. Read some of the threads on debt free wannabe for further examples (and I speak as someone who has "written off" a considerable some I lent to a family member who has yet to pay any back).

marisco_2

swingaloo wrote: »

I know if I say anything to her she will get very upset and she's not the strongest person in the world, she gets stressed and upset very easily and I don't want a family fall out about this.

Am I being petty?

Don't get sucked in by this act. I doubt your relative is anywhere near as fragile as you portray her above. Frankly the woman is taking the p!ss and has asked you to babysit whilst she does so. What a cheeky mare hey! If she gets stressed, upset and falls out with you, just because you have the audacity to suggest she considers paying you back money loaned before treating herself, then she would simply be proving that she is selfish and doesn't like being picked up on such behaviour. Stand up for yourself or this will continue to annoy you and cause a rift.

KxMx

Rottensocks wrote: »

The branded names thingy...wierd isn't it? I can understand it with some things (I personally don't compromise on salad cream brands!) but what possible difference could toilet bleach branding honestly make? Its not like you're gonna eat it!

I always thought that and was always happy with Tesco brand bleach, until it got substituted one month with Domestos, seriously never going back to Tesco bleach again! I do get several bottles of Domestos when on offer though

It's probably worth mentioning in my case that with stomach issues I am super fastidious about toilet hygiene, but really Domestos is a very superior bleach

itzmee

I think if my sister owed me money then I would be able to remark that if she had money to spend on herself then she could look to start paying me back even if only in small amounts each week. It doesn't matter how much money you have in the bank OP, she owes you so try to come to an arrangement where it suits you both.


My brother lent me £5k for a deposit for a house purchase. I promised to pay him back as soon as I could but he wasn't in any rush for it as he could afford it. He told me to wait until my youngest son was 10 (he was 3 at the time) and then I could pay it back. I had holidays and spent money on home improvements during this time, and felt guilty for doing so while I owed the money. However I made sure that I kept him in the loop that I hadn't forgotten and was putting money in a high interest ISA as I felt he should know this - he still wasn't fussed. I finally paid him back a month before my son's 10th birthday along with an extra £1k for interest - he didn't ask for this, I insisted as I was so grateful for his help which had allowed me to put down a deposit and get a lower interest rate, therefore also saving me quite a bit of money over the years!

*Robin*

swingaloo wrote: »

But I have just been asked to babysit on Saturday as she is going out with friends and also to look after hers sons on Friday afternoon as she is having her hair done.

Send sister a message saying you'll go over to her place half an hour early on Friday [with your bank details], then together you can set up a standing order to start repayments on her loan, now that xmas is well out of the way.