OS Singlies - We Do It Our Way!

greenbee

ellie99 wrote: »

that reminds me, I have one glass left in a bottle of wine, better finish it tonight before it goes off

How on earth did you manage that?

LavenderBees

:rotfl:

What Ellie hasn't said (I suspect) is that the wine is only left over from this afternoon

:rotfl:

:beer:

ellie99

greenbee wrote: »

How on earth did you manage that?

LavenderBees wrote: »

:rotfl:

What Ellie hasn't said (I suspect) is that the wine is only left over from this afternoon

:rotfl:

:beer:

:rotfl: cheeky mare :rotfl: :rotfl:

the bottle has been open about a fortnight, i'm very lazy at finishing off an open bottle!

Good luck tomorrow LB, remember the job won't be "new" for long, you'll soon settle in.

greenbee

ellie99 wrote: »

:rotfl: cheeky mare :rotfl: :rotfl:

the bottle has been open about a fortnight, i'm very lazy at finishing off an open bottle!

Good luck tomorrow LB, remember the job won't be "new" for long, you'll soon settle in.

It doesn't last that long! You need to practice...

(In all seriousness, maybe you should buy it in boxes)

ellie99

greenbee wrote: »

It doesn't last that long! You need to practice...

(In all seriousness, maybe you should buy it in boxes)

Hmm, maybe I should...I don't drink much though.
Not to worry, it's all gone now (hic)...as is the chocolate I forgot yesterday

Tomorrow is a new week,I can start again then!

JustKeepSwimming_2

ellie99 wrote: »

I wish people would think about what they're saying before they make comments like this. We shouldn't have to defend what we're doing (only going out alone fgs!) but it almost makes it feel like that. I think if that happened to me now I would be tempted to question them why they thought like that, at least it might make them think a bit!

And you're not bottom of the pile JKS!
...
ETA...JKS crocheting a blanket is easy whilst watching TV.

Thanks Ellie! Never been able to get the hang of crocheting, but its on my list .

I don't think the comments would have been made if they'd realised how upset I was. There is a lot going on with DD that I won't post about, but its been a very difficult year & next year will in all likelihood be even more difficult as she navigates year 11 & the dreaded GCSEs Today we finally had an appointment with a specialist who asked all the usual questions about family set up etc. I had a quick chat with him on my own at the end of the session when he asked where my support came from - & to my shock & horror I burst into floods of tears I was all so unexpected it took both of us by surprise I think.

He concluded that I don't have any support (well, doh :mad:) & I need to get some from somewhere (great, really helpful, thanks a bunch - another person telling me what I already know & making me feel even more inadequate that I haven't managed to suddenly grow supportive & caring family members or find a fantastic partner :mad:).

It's going to a rubbish time as exOH truly feels that many of DDs problems are caused by my inadequate (if he's felling charitable) or appalling (if he's had a bad day) parenting, & I'm going to have to listen to him run me down. Again. Its disheartening - even though we both want the best for DD, I am alone in my corner & that's hard.

greenbee wrote: »

Me! The hospital always weighs me lighter than at home. It's the only good thing about going there...

JKS - I eat out on my own a LOT. Partly because when I'm travelling for work I refuse to stay shut in my room ordering room service - I'd rather eat in the bar or restaurant and take a book/ipad/laptop (and I've met some interesting people this way, not to stay in touch with, but just to chat to), and partly because if I'm out shopping and feel like a coffee then i'll happily go and sit on my own.

I suggest you keep a book/knitting in your handbag, and if anyone says anything about it being a shame that you're on your own, make a BIG deal about it being a lovely chance for some peace and quiet :cool: maybe even implying that you've specifically gone out to be alone.

As for the 'eating is something I can do when out on my own', there are a few things to think about.

1. If I'm going to go out and treat myself to a coffee/meal I will walk there. Or walk a given distance looking round the town/village etc before I have my treat.
2. Go to art galleries and museums. If you feel the need for a coffee or snack afterwards, that's fine, but you've done something different. Maybe something to talk about if you do get chatting to someone in a cafe or bar (I try to sit at the bar if I'm feeling sociable, as people are more likely to chat - sit at a table and it's unlikely anyone will join you).
3. Watching TV - I don't have one, but maybe try reading instead of TV some evenings. Easier to do without snacking. Otherwise you definitely need to find something that keeps your hands busy. It's just a habit you need to break.

Maybe next time the kids are at their dad's you could book onto an 'activity' type holiday? A walking one, or cooking, or art appreciation, or literature, or upcycling or similar? That way you have structure, you'd learning, you're not 'filling time', and you meet people and have interesting conversations. You may not make lifelong friends, but just sometimes you meet people you want to stay in touch with. I did a series of cake decorating classes at weekends about 5 years ago, and met some lovely people. They weren't long-term friendships, but we had something in common and it was a fun way to spend my time. I either took the results into work or dropped them off with friends on the way home...

Some great advice Greenbee, thanks. I walk everywhere (no car), so I already feel like I've earned my treat IYSWIM . If I didn't walk everywhere I'd be the size of an elephant by now :rotfl:. Unfortunately I'm limited by rubbish public transport as to where I can go in the evenings/Sundays, & galleries/museums are all too far away to consider a cab ride, & way too far to walk. Saturdays are a definite possibility to do something different though. My town is just too small to have much in the way of adult education, & other nearby towns that do courses often have such a poor bus service that I'd either get there late or have to leave early on the last bus.

My other problem is that I often don't know if the kids are going to their Dad's until a few days, if not the day before, & having booked several day courses/train tickets/made arrangements only to have them cancelled at short notice is even more frustrating :mad:. Hopefully this is the final year of that happening, as DS is 13 soon so he'll be old enough to leave with DD alone so I shouldn't have to change any day plans even if exOH lets me down. I usually let the never ending chores take over if I do have an unexpected kid free w/e, which is silly - there will always be chores to do so I should get out more.

Reading - I love it, but am struggling to stay awake long enough to read more than a few pages. I need to master being able to read standing up :rotfl:. Same goes for TV - if I don't find the something else to do with my hands, then I'm asleep within 10 minutes of a programme starting. Good job I'm not into soaps as I'd never keep up!

I sounded more pathetic that I meant to, talking about eating out alone. I have done it for years, so I'm not afraid to do it - I'm just so, so fed up with always eating alone & having to witness others having a great time. I may as well just stay home & save the money (this is MSE after all :rotfl:). Don't get me wrong, I want everyone to be happy, but my inner brat is getting a bit fed up with seeming to always be on the outside. Its all just a little too raw for me just now & I'm obviously not coping well with seeing everyone else being happy, so I think its best for me to avoid the happy places for now. Does that make sense to anyone other than me?

LavenderBees wrote: »

Some lovely and useful ideas, there, Greenbee. Thank you! I will certainly be keeping them in mind for my next free weekend, when ever that is!

I find that I lack motivation when it's just me to entertain and always fall back on my wee hobbies to enjoy. Yet when I have someone else to entertain, I suddenly get the energy to get out and about. This week most of the people I have spoken to, have been paid to talk to me, so it isn't just you, JKS.



But honestly, where does anyone get off thinking it is ok to comment in such a pitying way...?! Trouble is, comments like this tend to come out of the blue, but I would hope I would find it in me to answer quite sharply, and make them think twice before commenting again. Cheeky bu66ers! :eek: I'm not in a constructive mood this afternoon as you can probably tell :rotfl:

Anyway, if any singlie is at a loss for how to fill in a week or so, I will have loadsa painting to do in a few weeks time...free bed and board...any takers, just PM me :rotfl:

My heart is sinking at the thought of work tomorrow...new boss, new colleagues to fathom, new systems, new processes...all so very draining...but only 4 weeks to a lovely week off. And that week is going to be full of treats...:T

LB xx

Hope work has started well LB :T A week of treats sounds lovely too. Counting down to the summer holidays here.... If I'd been on form I'd like to think I would have said something cutting or witty....but I haven't been on form for a while now Thanks for the kind comments - they are much appreciated.

Hi to BW - good to see you again & sorry its been a difficult time for you too.

Anyone seen Byatt recently? Hope all is OK with her.

All this talk of wine has made me decide to open a bottle of red. How I wish decent wine came in 375ml bottles - 185ml is often just a little too small for me (hangs head in shame ). I don't want to drink a glass every night for 3-4 nights in a row but by day 4 of being open the red really tastes very different. I don't like boxes as I don't always want the same wine for weeks on end, & there just isn't the same variety. Having 3 or 4 boxes open at the same time would require a much bigger kitchen :rotfl:

Its a dilemma....

LavenderBees

Yes, I understand, JKS, watching others in groups (family or otherwise) enjoying themselves when you feel you are continually or mostly on your own is really hard.

One of my dreads in lovely weather is the number of neighbours having BBQs. Even if it is just the immediate family, most people have an automatic party going...I have a really nice BBQ that never sees the light of day. I did once have a BBQ for myself, and had so muh food, I nearly exploded :rotfl:. Seriously, though, it made me feel even more Billy-no-mates . Definitely easier on the emotions to just not bother.

And so most of the time, I just don't bother, and lots of the time, I'm content not bothering. But sometimes I'm not

I can also relate to the bursting into tears at "inappropriate times". I did it today in the office, when my (former) colleagues gave me a wee good luck pressie. I had slept so badly last night, was so tired, and so anxious (for various reasons best not gone into here), and just a little unexpected kindness had me suddenly crying to my absolute horror.

But I think when you feel like everything is an uphill struggle and you're pretty much on your own dealing with everything, as well as being unfairly blamed for a given situation, then emotions are clearly too close to the surface. That's understandable. Here's a dodgy hug...I need it, too today :grouphug:

But that's what this thread is for. To share good times/bad times with others who hopefully can relate to how you feel. No need at all to go into details of the whys and wherefores.

One of the good things (and not so good things) about my new role is that it is remote working from the business area I support, so my new manager doesn't care where I work as long as I do the work...so I've decided to work from home 2 or 3 days a week. That will make home life a little easier, and I hope to build in loading the washing machine while I make a cuppa etc, which may mean that some weekend time is not full of chores. Fingers crossed, anyway.

If nothing else, I'll save some diesel money :T

But I've found the last few months very very hard at work, was within a gnats whisker of redundancy, and now am feeling I'm neither part of my old team, nor part of my new remote team, so it isn't a comfortable place to be. Still, it's a job, and has potential to be a good job, so I'll make the best of it over the coming months.

As for Byatt, she's a reet slacker on this thread. I'll give her a nudge :rotfl:

LB xx

ellie99

Oh dear JKS, you're having a tough time of it right now...have a dodgy hug :grouphug:
I know you've said before that your ex wants the best for the children, but I'm annoyed on your behalf that he thinks that means he can run you down...
I wish we all lived close enough that we could whisk you away for a meal out, with company...and we could run him down! (oh, not physically of course, just verbally )

My problems are all practical at the moment...it won't stop raining, and the water is sloshing over the gutter onto my little conservatory, and then running down the INSIDE wall...now that's not right, and I'm dreading the cost and disruption of getting it fixed...it's one of those jobs where even the tradesmen aren't sure why it's happening.

And I've committed myself to altering the kitchen...the joiner was here looking at repairing the garage, and I told him I wanted the jobs done in the kitchen as well :eek:
I don't have time for all this right now...DM is still not well, taking her to hospital appointment tomorrow, I'm doing all their shopping, and having to visit the care home more as I'm the only one who'll go. I go, but I feel quite guilty sometimes because I don't want to go, I don't like it there.

i should have been sensible and put off the kitchen until later. Even going to the shops to get worktop and paint means driving 25 miles, and takes time. On the other hand, I can get a lot done when I have a deadline
I hadn't decided yet whether I was going to redecorate the room as well...I was cooking our tea tonight and my hand snuck out and pulled a big strip of wallpaper off the wall...how did that happen? :rotfl:
So it seems I'm redecorating too...

ellie99

ha ha LB, you just pipped me to the post with the dodgy hug...here's another one for everyone :grouphug:

LavenderBees

I was just thinking that about the dodgy hug, Ellie :rotfl:. And you're on the slippery slope now with the kitchen...I think my own home improvements started with just wanting some wires on the living room windowsill tidied up...now there's electric points being moved, walls being built, almost a complete replaster....:eek:

Slippery slope....pulling wallpaper off...nightmare, in fact! :eek:

:rotfl: