OS Singlies - We Do It Our Way!

LavenderBees

On the Xmas front...last year, my Mam was still alive, but had no idea about anything so effectively, having just lost my Dad, and my siblings being as they are, I was alone for the first time.

I guess this is my 2nd year, and is it any easier? Well, yes in some ways it is. Last year taught me I can survive and not just survive but actually do ok. So the dread isn't there this year.

But in other ways, it's harder. Too much loss in too short a time, including my darling Old-Boy-Cat. I've also shed a couple of friends, as my tolerance is rather low now. So, lots of loss . I'm probably a bit punch drunk with loss to tell the truth.

However, I've been absolutely rushed off my little toots at work for the last couple of months, and will be until 23rd, and this helps, to be honest. Too busy to care that it's December, and certainly too busy to listen to conversations of who is having a dozen people to lunch (how dreadful ), and who is expecting lovely jewellery from their partners....one day when I'm rich, I will consider treating myself...

The other day, an acquaintance, told me how alone she feels as there is only 5 of the close family for Xmas lunch this year (and she gets on well, and is loved by them all). Before I could think of being diplomatic, I shot back at her "Alone...? when there's 5 of you? You don't know the meaning of the word....try actually BEING ALONE, and see how different that makes you look at life and the run up to Xmas". Anyway, she apologised... ....I was a tad forceful

But it is a huge bugbear of mine, people thinking they know how you feel at being alone, when quite honestly, they haven't a bl00dy clue. And not just in the run up to Xmas, too. We've talked before about how we have to do everything, be responsible for every decision, every action, and it's such hard work. I'm tired out at having to do everything.

And breathe :rotfl:

Anyway, this year, I'm aiming to potter, listen to the radio, read, play with my lovely young puss cats who are sitting as I write now, waiting for me to play the hide the feather under the door (the latest fave pusscat game), maybe go for walks, maybe not , just potter. I have 9 days off inc the weekend in between, and I intend to rest a bit. Bliss!

Last year, I needed to fill my time with activity to stop me from thinking of the pain, but this year, I'm too tired to think so the pain is muted, so can rest

Progress? Well, whatever, that's where I'm at this year, and I will survive, and quite nicely, too. Defrosting the freezer tonight, so I can start filling it up tomorrow with treats. Yum!

:rotfl:

LB xx

Horace

Hello Peeps

Christmas for me will be spent partly at my parents and no doubt I will be working too. I go to my parents on Christmas Day. Other than that (and now work) I will once again be on my own. I am in the process of buying myself some little gifts that I will pack into a box to go under the tree and I can open one each day. I discovered today that I have £7 on my Boots card and I think I will have a little spend (I don't go into Boots very often).

Boobed at work today, I cleared a table only to discover that it wasn't meant to be cleared. I found a half empty crisp packet and a newspaper on a table so tipped the crisps into the food waste bin and left the newspaper on the table for someone else to read - well this chap turned up wanting to know where his crisps were as he had gone to get some coffee, I had to tell him that I had chucked them. I have been chucking half empty crisp packets out all afternoon when I have been clearing tables so it wasn't a surprise that I saw something that seemed to have been abandoned.

I have a locker at work now (no name badge as yet) and I was asked about my sizes especially as they were a bit boggled that I had asked for long legged trousers - I had to explain that I was 5'7" with a 32.5" inside leg.

Mum2One - I agree with Lavender Bees - she has said some very wise words with regards to your DD and her friend.

mum2one

LavenderBees wrote: »

So, who is having conversations with the older man? DD's friend? Are you sure of that?

It was DDs friend, she'd sent DD a screen shot, at 1st thought it was dD but as they both have iphones, but I looked in the corner and the network wasnt DDs it was her friends.

I spoke to DD at the time, and literally put the frightners in her, she then spoke to this girl, and I also spoke to her, she said she didnt realise how bad it was.

My thoughts,if so, are that you probably know what you need to do - ensure the authorities are aware. She sounds a very vulnerable little girl, poor thing, and needs someone to watch out for her and over her. That sounds like you and DD. Is this why they've fallen out?

I did speak to the school at the time about this, and they noted it, I know the girl is on the school radar, and from what gather social services are involved this is due to issues with her mum whos not on th scene.
Please don't stand by and let her be groomed by some bast&rd. She sounds a prime target.
She is a prime target, hope the lecture I gave her did some good, but in all honestly she is one of those kids who will end up in clink or expecting at 13,
when she came to go trick or treating her outfit was more a lady of the ngt - her dad had dropped her off, I offered her dds spare witches dress, otherwise dd couldn't go.

I know it's probably more than you feel you can cope with at the moment, but make the call, and then try to help DD reconcile with this girl. She needs you both, by the sound of it.

Having said that, if you think that there is any possibility of DD being dragged into something "unsavoury", obviously your responsibility is to your DD, but still make the call. If this little girl was my daughter, I would want someone to act to try to look after her.

We were doing an Xmas fayre 2ngt at DDs old school, DD walks in with this girl in tow, need to say it was a shock, apparently the girl DD was coming with couldn't make it, and "friend" suddendly decided to speak to DD - DD was shocked, but she said she remembered what i say, friends close, enemies even closer... it lasted for 10 mins, friend went off on a major strop.

I've had DD in tears, managed to get some details from her, it was triggered off by "the friend" getting something right in class, she made a whoopie - the teacher then told the girl she wasnt the only one to get it right, then the friend asked DD and others why the teacher picked on her, they explained teacher wasnt picking but that she showed off a bit... that was the start of it all.

I know in my heart of hearts that something needs to be done, I'm trying to support DD< shes going through a lot, with dad and his cancer, the blood clots, then her father liable to be a toss pot at xmas.
I'm going to see how weekend goes, DD blocked the friends number, shes off out with another friend tomorrow, then Sunday were at another xmas fayre, I'll have a chat with DD ova weekend, but regardless of what is or not said, I'm going to ring the school.

i wanted to when the friend had her bedroom trashed she had sent dd a pic, but DD begged me not to, there has got to be something that has gone on behind the scenes, I know I could phone social services myself, but dont know surname, etc, but if alert school, i know they have to contact social services at the first hint of a concern, at that way the school can keep an eye out as well.

thank you thou, I wasn't sure if it was kids having a fall out and be back in each others pockets, but this is deep rooted xx

CRANKY40

I think that part of the problem of being alone (and I was for many years before I found the late Mr C and had Grumpy the house elf) is that you think everyone else is having a fabulous time. Possibly some of them are, but then some of them aren't. People who would sell their souls to actually be alone or just with their partner or children are forced into duty visits. Families that get together argue, and there is usually someone who can't stand someone else and the tension builds as people wait for trouble to start. Some poor soul can't have any alcohol (my uncle) as they have been instructed by their other half (my bossy and fairly mean aunty) that they are driving.

This year me and the boy will be on our own for christmas day for the first time since Mr C died 5 years ago. My 10 year old son is looking forward to staying in his own home. So am I if the truth be known. It was kind of people to invite us for dinner the previous 5 years, but you can never be quite as comfortable when visiting as you can in your own home.

We're having a chicken breast joint as that will do the two of us just fine with plenty of left overs. I won't have to time it cooking as I know from experience that the greediest cat starts yowling as soon as it's ready :rotfl: I'm making chocolate cake instead of fruit cake this year as we won't have to take cake anywhere as our contribution and the boy likes chocolate cake better. It's not the big family christmas that we had when I was a child, but this will suit me and the boy. I have told friends they are welcome to call, I will feed them if they're around when we have dinner and I will probably have a glass in my hand for a good part of the day. I'm not expecting anyone to actually visit

Mum2one your daughters friend probably said what she did because she is jealous that your daughter has you. All the material possessions in the world don't make up for living with parents who don't give a toss about you and actually physically hurt you. I'm not sure what your daughter's situation is, but my son has had a fair few upsetting conversations about his dad being dead. Edited as I've just seen your last post. You always know how to hurt the people that you care most about.

mum2one

Cranky40, - Thank you, dont be daft about the editing, my dads on the road to recovery, we've got over the worse, and as for her father, no comment, as swear words get blocked!

sorry about your husband, your son sounds a really well adjusted boy, ps save me a piece of choc cake,

A nice lazy day planned tomorrow, sort out my car ins (boo....), then a small cookery session,
beef in red wine
chicken, mushroom and cider casserole
beef and posh veg (reduced Mr T) casserole
Sausage and tomato casserole

Need to find some room in the freezer.... (help!) xx

LavenderBees

A small (?) cookery session, Mum2One? :rotfl: My freezer is empty and defrosted now, so plenty of room if you want to bring your cooking round...Yum! :rotfl:

Cranky40 - Your planned day sounds perfect. A large slice of choc cake for me, too, please. :rotfl:

Well, better go and defrost the chooks' water, and make sure they've survived a very cold night - 6 here . I fill hwbs with hot water to transport it to the allotment. Someone saw me the other day, and commented how spoilt my girls are...I had to explain that the hwbs weren't for the girls to snuggle up to :rotfl:

It's a thought though, if the weather gets worse....

:rotfl:

Enjoy your days, All. Hairdressers for me, then Waitr0se...whoop whoop!

LB xx

moneyistooshorttomention

Waitrose LB...sighs...as that was one of my food-shopping places. Nevair mind...think about all the food I can grow in my own garden once it's fully sorted-out (think....my best foodgrowing bit is very waterlogged and is gonna costalotta to sort out:(). I was listing off my seedpackets to see what I've got the other day and see my oldest ones were bought by me in 2006, so that's at least how long I've been wondering when I would have a proper garden to use and buying stuff for it.

Right...best get and do my shopping at a Tesco that doesn't have the full range of "basic stuff imo". Managed to persuade them into stocking bog-standard cream the other day (ie organic double cream) and that counted as a victory:T. Must work on having more than just organic cheddar cheese available next. Of course, the other alternative is that I've had some cheesemaking kit for some time now and still only made yogurt cheese to date....I'm only hoping for some more "basic" type cheeses (like brie, camembert, feta, mozzarella, parmesan) and not fancy with all sorts of additions to them/smoked/etc.

Byatt

Mum2one, just reading your post on a small screen so sorry if I've misread or missed something. My concern for the friend of your daughter is that there is something more going on at home with her dad. Her actions in my opinion, show there is a likelihood of sexual abuse. I appreciate that this is my opinion based on a few things, including the provocative dress, the talking to older men...but it just screams at me.

LavenderBees

moneyistooshorttomention wrote: »

Waitrose LB...sighs....

Why used to be? If you shop carefully at Waitr0se there are lots of good value things to snap up. I love it...so civilised...excellent service and people chat in there :rotfl:, and I got things like 3 chickens for £10 etc etc, so not at all out of the ballpark for other so-called cheaper stores. Waitr0se is quite a way from me, so is my treat when I'm over that way for the hairdressers.

So, having been to M&S too, I now have a freezer full of choice...can barely make a normal meal out of any of it :rotfl:, but I don't really intend to stand cooking for hours on my break.

My hairdresser also treated me to an Indian head massage while washing my hair...twas lovely....he normally saves that treat for when I go and cry over him when someone has died, but this time, it was simply because he wanted to for Xmas

Pjs on, fire lit, drink poured. Bliss!

LB xx

Horace

Hello all

Got home from work a little earlier today - managed to beat the bus by stopping the traffic at the pelican and then I ran to the bus stop. Glad to be home - it has been an afternoon of screaming kids and vile parents who insist on putting the sandwich crusts in their coffee and generally being vile. Some of them look at you as though you are something nasty they have trodden in:mad:

Yesterday I was given a locker so my work shoes are in it. Today I was given a staff discount card which entitles me to 20% off everything. I think my chums will be getting a present from M@rks this year - one friend has already asked if I will buy her a turkey crown and all the stuff to go with it (I have said she will have to give me the money for it).

Is it Tuesday yet? I want a break:D