OS Singlies - We Do It Our Way!

moneyistooshorttomention

I tend to be very direct and think its preferable for things to be that way, because people know that I'm just not the sort to get up to things behind peoples backs/get out a wooden spoon/etc. I have appreciated the odd compliment about how "fair" I am and its just struck me that I've never heard so much as a whisper about anyone ever saying things about me like "devious", "backstabber", "dictator" and, if people were saying things like that about me, then I would think I would had some comments relayed back to me about it by now, but I haven't...so go me:D

Winter Phoenix = my gosh..that sounds a positive masterpiece of tact. I'm not sure whether I'm up to coming out with a load of stuff like that personally, but will try and memorise some of your phrases and I guess I have nothing to lose from trying that. Its taking a lot of self-control not to call a certain "dictator" all the names they richly deserve (because I know they would be delighted to retail them all off to other people in a scandalised tone of voice, without indicating just why they had "got on my wick" so much that I'd been driven to do so).

I'll see if I can summon up enough self-control to come out with all that sort of language...mygawd..it took me years to learn a sense of humour (but must have managed that...as one of my worst detractors has actually complimented on my soh before now and they weren't being sarcastic:rotfl:). Can I actually manage a crash course in that sort of stuff? Hmm..:think:. I can feel an attack of CalicoCat's brand of black humour coming on at the thought...

Horace

Must admit I would rather be direct and as blunt as a spoon. I can be diplomatic when necessary - depending on the situation.

Today I rang up the HMRC, I have misplaced my UTR number and need this to complete my online self assessment (I have until 31 Jan to do it online). I explained that I have now ceased trading altogether as I have removed my dormant company from the Companies House register. I was advised what I need to put on the online forms as I will also need to do a tax return next year too. The helpful lady advised me to notify the National Insurance peeps too despite having an exemption. My accountant used to do it all for me but as I can no longer afford her services - I have to do it myself. Before I was a bit scared especially of running out of time but my mind has been put at ease.

Not sure I could ever work for myself again because the last time I ended up having massive anxiety attacks which were caused by someone external constantly interfering and causing trouble (I did not have the monetary resource to take them to court to get them to cease). It was just easier to walk away, I had intended starting up again but even the thought would have me going into meltdown and I need to consider my health above everything else.

ellie99

MummyBobble wrote: »

I had therapy last year and was told that if you can't sleep the worst thing to do is switch a light on as it sends messages to your brain that it's time to get up (I can often be found reading in the middle of the night).

Did they tell you what the recommended action was, if you shouldn't put the light on?
I can see the point, and am now worrying that my brain's confused
If I wake up in the night (a lot this summer!) I always put the light on and read, and it doesn't usually take too long to fall asleep again...even if it's with the light still on, and a book in my hands.

Last night when I woke up I thought I'd take heed of this advice and not put the light on...well it took me hours to get back to sleep. And as I had to get up super early for work, it was hardly worth going back to sleep :rotfl:

ETA - just realised, being single is a real benefit when it comes to wanting the light on in the middle of the night lol

Horace wrote: »

Today I rang up the HMRC, I have misplaced my UTR number

:eek: now you have me panicking, I have no idea where mine is.
I may be due a big paperwork tidy up.

moneyistooshorttomention

Horace wrote: »

Not sure I could ever work for myself again because the last time I ended up having massive anxiety attacks which were caused by someone external constantly interfering and causing trouble (I did not have the monetary resource to take them to court to get them to cease). It was just easier to walk away, I had intended starting up again but even the thought would have me going into meltdown and I need to consider my health above everything else.

My own experiences of self-employment (very limited one way and another) were actually much better than the basic work for someone else PAYE type employment I basically did whilst working. I liked being in charge of my work and being better-paid for it, but I admit it was only of a very limited amount and I wasn't dependant on it and if you get One Of Those people coming along then I can quite see they could create problems. I had a noticeable surprise during one of my bits of self-employment, but it was of the very pleasant and totally gratifying variety = card/presents/thanks/etc and I was very surprised, but extremely pleased about it.

To me personally, getting anxiety states, etc, boiled down to being an employee and knowing what they were planning/hoping for regarding me and being proven quite correct on more than one occasion. I used to get very worried from having figured out that employers were "up to so-and-so and hoping to manage such-and-such in regard to me" and trying to work out avoidance tactics to prevent this or, at least, minimise the impact. But that was just my own personal experience 'tis true.

The odd bouts of self-employment were lovely (on the whole) for being paid better, told I was very good, being in control, etc, etc and I have certainly spent time racking my brains personally as to whether I could think of ways of doing some sort of self-employed work or other on a more full-time and permanent basis (but no bright ideas have surfaced on that front to date darn it).

Sorry that happened to you.

Horace

I think if I venture down the self employment route again, it will be done alongside paid employment. Ellie - sorry to make you panic about your UTR, the HMRC are sending it to me in the post and apparently it is on the self assessment form they send you to complete.

I seem to have misplaced my building society book as I wanted to withdraw money from it to pay for my contents insurance which is due to tomorrow. Rather than get in more of a tizz I rang and now pay monthly (it costs a bit more but it is better than paying a huge amount out all at once). Signed on this afternoon too - showed them details of my interview - they were chuffed (I see an advisor who is sensible - he told me that if I decided to get a xmas job that I could work up to 16hrs per week but would only be allowed £5 JSA so I would have to work out all my costs including transport (and I am considering my prescriptions which are currently free). Hopefully I will get this full time permanent role so won't have the fret and bother of a part time xmas job.

moneyistooshorttomention

ellie99 wrote: »

Did they tell you what the recommended action was, if you shouldn't put the light on?
I can see the point, and am now worrying that my brain's confused
If I wake up in the night (a lot this summer!) I always put the light on and read, and it doesn't usually take too long to fall asleep again...even if it's with the light still on, and a book in my hands.

Last night when I woke up I thought I'd take heed of this advice and not put the light on...well it took me hours to get back to sleep. And as I had to get up super early for work, it was hardly worth going back to sleep :rotfl:

ETA - just realised, being single is a real benefit when it comes to wanting the light on in the middle of the night lol

I've read that advice too and can't figure a way round if I need to go to the loo in the middle of the night just how to do so minus my bedside light on without stubbing my toe on something-or-other I have forgotten was lying around on a floor near me.

I get the singlie virtue of being able to switch the light on without disturbing A.N. Other. Swings and roundabouts to having an A.N. Other that would happily remind you just why not to bother about "some b*gger else" that is being a pain. It only took me on my own about 24 hours to think "Oh yes...pain in backside Little Sod neighbour is no big deal because I have legal insurance as an add-on on my house insurance cover if it comes to it that they push it to the limits:D". Am now kicking myself that it took about 24 hours to remember that I have this so its a case of "Do NOT worry...any problem Little Sod creates can be dealt with". Mygawd...was I slow off the mark or was I slow off the mark to remember that?:o and an A.N. Other might have reminded me of that rather sooner...:o.

Hangs head in shame for getting knickers in twist unnecessarily and thankfully has friends who fulfil fairly much the same function of "talking me back down to earth" if some b******* sends me off into orbit temporarily.

moneyistooshorttomention

On a different tack right now:

- LessonLearned and Byatt = how are ya' doing? Am thinking about you.

ellie99

moneyistooshorttomention wrote: »

I've read that advice too and can't figure a way round if I need to go to the loo in the middle of the night just how to do so minus my bedside light on without stubbing my toe on something-or-other I have forgotten was lying around on a floor near me.

When DH was alive he used to get up for work at 4.30am, and to try and not disturb me so much he put a red light bulb in his bedside light...yes, we had our own mini red light district :rotfl:

I wonder if the type of bulb makes a difference to our brains?
ie. the darker and duller the better if it's just for a quick trip to the loo and not for reading.

moneyistooshorttomention

Further thoughts on the lightbulb front welcome. Am now wondering whether I should have two bedside light set-ups, one of the red light bedside variety and a standard lamp type thing for reading purposes?

Further thoughts welcome...

mum2one

I def agree about the lights and not having someone moaning about whether there on or not, if I stay in a hotel or caravan to start off with I leave the bathroom light on, just makes it easier to not worry about the lights.... sure someone would moan!

I know when I've been away with DD trying to turn the light on for the least possible time, but then again my DD would sleep through anything...

The sound of the red bulb sounds an interesting thought, weird thou as we have a red light in the pantry, we've had no probs with it.

Another mad day running around, started off with Argos, £1land, the Tesco, straight home take DD to the dentist, shes been complaining about raving toothache... she has an absess bless her...

roll on Sunday.. the 1st day this week i haven't got anything planned to do yet!! xx