help with brotherinlaw

securityguy

5 years ago his mother died and had always said that our (mine and hubbys) daughters would get all her jewellry

Then she should have made a will. She didn't. Direct your anger where it's deserved.

Errata

Ignoring the money side of things. It's not unheard of for a parent to say one thing about their belongings to one offspring and something entirely different to another offspring.

POPPYOSCAR

Op I can see where you are coming from.

It is not the actual items and money is it? It is the thought that his own brother would in effect "steal" from him by not sharing the estate with him.

I would feel the same. We lent a member of the family some money which they promised to pay back and have not. It is not the money it is the trust and respect that has now gone.

sharnad

Did you get the £5000

DaveTheMus

Maybe your husband thinks his brother is an idiot and needs as much help as possible....maybe on the mother's death bed she asked your husband to look after the brother because he is an idiot.....maybe you're husband isn't mad that you called his brother a thief, maybe he's mad that it's been five years and you're still prattling on about HIS MOTHER'S jewellery......

itsanne

Just want to point out that BIL moving into the house is totally irrelevant. As it's a rented house he'll have taken over the rent, so he hasn't gained anything from it.

The contents are a different story, but none of that is really your concern at all. It's your husband's mother, so your husband's business.

You need to move on and stop brooding about it. Five years after the death and it's causing friction between you and your husband? That's ridiculous!

tiger_eyes

Is this really, truly, honestly for your daughters' sake? As a daughter, I can't imagine any item of jewellery I could possibly inherit that would be worth my parents not speaking to each other for weeks. I'd rather skip the jewellery and have my parents happy.

coolcait

When I was little, my granny always let me wear her jewellery. and she told me that when she died, it would all be mine. In a pre-pubescent Disney-princess kind of way, I paraded around in her finery, and didn't think about death.

I was ten when my granny died, and I didn't think anything about the jewellery. I was too busy being devastated about the fact the my granny was gone - until I was told that an auntie by marriage had taken a particular ring.

I can't tell you how upset I was!!



Mainly because I just remember that I was upset at the time. I have no idea now "how" upset I was.

But I've moved on. And I don't think I could even picture the ring in question - then or now.

Four decades later I still remember my granny. Fondly. Trinkets or no trinkets.

I'm not sure that I would have those fond memories if my mum had decided to call my aunt by marriage 'a thief' at the time (for the record, none of the adults at the time had any difficulty with the idea that granny's belongings should be shared among those who loved her).

What's most important to you here? The goods and hard cash? Or the relationships?

andygb

I hate to say it, but this should all have been sorted out at the time, with solicitors involved.
It also highlights the problems involved when someone dies intestate.
As far as the jewellry was concerned, I doubt whether "word of mouth" really counts, and that it should have been sold and the proceeds divided between the brothers.

mountainofdebt

I must admit I could have got the hump with my OH when his mum died as I wasn't given any of her jewellery - it went to all to his sister.

But in the grand scheme of things I still had (and still do) have my mum to talk to every day.....and I know which I'd prefer.