help with brotherinlaw

lovemyinlaws

Posting under a new name as i am sure i will be recogised under my usual name.
Hubby and i have had a massive row and still not speaking after 2 weeks - basically because i called his brother a theif.
5 years ago his mother died and had always said that our (mine and hubbys) daughters would get all her jewellry and everything else would go to the boys.
When she died my BIL moved straight into her house and my OH and daughters have not had a thing.
I have asked for the jewellry for the girls and have been ignored, my husband just says he will ask again, but he must have been asked 10 times over the years.
I just wish my OH would stand up for things, he hasnt even taken an ornament from the house even though we have bought loads of things for her.
He doesnt know what was in the bank accounts or anything at all his brother has moved in and that is that.
Sorry rant over

Rottensocks

Hmm, I think its help with your husband you need! If he won't do anything about it, there's little point in getting mad.

It is a shame for your kids to miss out on the jewellery and memories, but ultimately, nothing much you can do if husband doesn't want to challenge the status quo.

Not speaking for TWO WEEKS? - That would drive me insane being stonewalled like that!

lovemyinlaws

Rottensocks wrote: »

Hmm, I think its help with your husband you need! If he won't do anything about it, there's little point in getting mad.

It is a shame for your kids to miss out on the jewellery and memories, but ultimately, nothing much you can do if husband doesn't want to challenge the status quo.

Not speaking for TWO WEEKS? - That would drive me insane being stonewalled like that!

Thanks thats him not talking to me, not me not talking to him lol. But i dont see why i should apologise

Pollycat

Did your MIL leave a will?

It's OK saying she "had always said" that the jewellery would go to your daughter's but could she have made a will leaving everything to your BIL and the reason your OH won't push things is that he is fully aware of that but is scared to tell you?

Did your MIL own her house?

If she did (and assuming there was no will), I'm really surprised that your OH allowed his brother to move in. Surely the estate should have been shared?

You say this all happened over 5 years ago.
It must be a real source of annoyance to you to rankle for so long.
It really sounds to me that there is a lot more going on than you're saying.
Or there might be a lot more going on than you're aware of.

I also find it very strange that your OH is not speaking to you because you called his brother a thief.
Did you say that to your OH or to your BIL's face?

If you just said it to your OH, then that says to me that there is much more to this than you know.

Is it possible for you and OH to sit down and have a rational discussion about your MIL's death and what happened to the money, house and personal items?

lovemyinlaws

No it was not her own house and she didnt leave a will.
I can honestly say my OH has had nothing at all and is not talking to me because i called his brother (I said it to my OH)
I have just about had enough of them all, the last straw was when his brother came round and they sat there drinking away and acting as if nothing was wrong.

Rottensocks

lovemyinlaws wrote: »

No it was not her own house and she didnt leave a will.
I can honestly say my OH has had nothing at all and is not talking to me because i called his brother (I said it to my OH)
I have just about had enough of them all, the last straw was when his brother came round and they sat there drinking away and acting as if nothing was wrong.

Confused now. So if it wasn't her own house, how has your BIL moved in?

lovemyinlaws

it was a rented house

Pollycat

Rottensocks wrote: »

Confused now. So if it wasn't her own house, how has your BIL moved in?

I'm confused too.
Where was the brother living before his Mum (OP's MIL) died?

lovemyinlaws wrote: »

No it was not her own house and she didnt leave a will.
I can honestly say my OH has had nothing at all and is not talking to me because i called his brother (I said it to my OH)
I have just about had enough of them all, the last straw was when his brother came round and they sat there drinking away and acting as if nothing was wrong.

Maybe your OH really doesn't think anything is wrong and that's why he's so angry that you called his brother a thief and why he was happy to sit drinking with his brother.

I think a grown-up talk about this is well overdue.

Maybe there was a will and everything was left to your OH's brother - which would explain why your OH was so angry that you called his brother a thief - he wouldn't be a thief if the will named him as sole beneficiary.

GobbledyGook

Was there anything to leave? Who paid for the funeral? Is there a chance any jewellery had to be sold?

Rottensocks

OK, so she died intestate. Then that would mean that all her surviving children inherited equally from her estate - so I just cannot see how your OH doesn't know what was in her accounts.

Did anyone ever apply for a grant of representation for her estate? If not, presumably the estate still hasn't been dealt with, and her accounts are all still intact?

lovemyinlaws

He was living with a friend of his.
I can guarantee 100% that she did not leave a will, my BIL took the money out of her account to pay for the funeral and told my OH he would let him have 1/2 of what was left which would have been about 10k each, so 5k each.
I dont know whether OH is so upset because he knows what has happened but he is the only brother he has left and both his parents are now gone