help with brotherinlaw

KateBob

Ok I think I may see where this is coming from:

Is it possible that your OH has decided that £5K and jewellery is not worth risking his relationship with his last close relative?

You however don't have that close relationship with BIL and therefore understandably care more about your daughters loss (not that your OH doesn't care about daughter).

I think the only way forward is to talk to OH about how this is making you and him feel.

But 2 weeks without talking, sheesh, I'd have killed my OH by now!

lovemyinlaws

Fbaby, 1 of my daughters was very close in fact she used to stay over a couple of nights a week.
Kate/Bob - seriously thinking bout the killing thing but dont think i woud get away with it lol

maman

Is there really anything among an old lady's jewellery that your girls would wear? Or is this a point of principle?

When my mam died, I was the Executor and sorted out all the money and property. Then it came to sorting out jewellery and ornaments. My brothers/SILs wanted very few ornaments (not to their tastes) but asked if their girls could have her jewellery, particularly about 12 gold bangles. My DD and I would have loved them as we wear bangles every day but to keep the peace I just gave them to my 3 nieces. AFAIK they have never worn them!:mad: I have a bit of old fashioned stuff I'd never wear.

I've told you that as 10 years down the line it still irritates me if I think about it. Most of the time I try not to think about it, life's too short and I've treated my DD to loads of gifts since then.

I certainly wouldn't want to fall out with my nearest and dearest over it. if I were you I would apologise for calling his brother a thief. He hasn't actually stolen anything as far as you know just done nothing. I'd say to your OH that 'thief' was maybe a bit harsh but that you can't understand why he just ignores it year after year. Maybe it' because he suspects his brother but doesn't want to fall out with him. Maybe he finds it difficult to think of sorting through his mum's stuff. Is the house as she left it?

I do understand and feel for you but I'd kiss and make up if I were you.:)

lovemyinlaws

maman wrote: »

Is there really anything among an old lady's jewellery that your girls would wear? Or is this a point of principle?

When my mam died, I was the Executor and sorted out all the money and property. Then it came to sorting out jewellery and ornaments. My brothers/SILs wanted very few ornaments (not to their tastes) but asked if their girls could have her jewellery, particularly about 12 gold bangles. My DD and I would have loved them as we wear bangles every day but to keep the peace I just gave them to my 3 nieces. AFAIK they have never worn them!:mad: I have a bit of old fashioned stuff I'd never wear.

I've told you that as 10 years down the line it still irritates me if I think about it. Most of the time I try not to think about it, life's too short and I've treated my DD to loads of gifts since then.

I certainly wouldn't want to fall out with my nearest and dearest over it. if I were you I would apologise for calling his brother a thief. He hasn't actually stolen anything as far as you know just done nothing. I'd say to your OH that 'thief' was maybe a bit harsh but that you can't understand why he just ignores it year after year. Maybe it' because he suspects his brother but doesn't want to fall out with him. Maybe he finds it difficult to think of sorting through his mum's stuff. Is the house as she left it?

I do understand and feel for you but I'd kiss and make up if I were you.:)

You have got me in tears now

BitterAndTwisted

OP I think you are making a rod for your own back. Your MIL's estate is none of your concern, and it sounds like there wasn't that much to make an issue about in any case.

Getting all angry and self-righteous on someone else's behalf sounds extremely petty to me. This jewellery could be worth about tuppence-ha'penny and your kids may not have any interest in it in any case. I think your husband is right to let sleeping dogs lie and you have been most unfair in calling the BIL a thief behind his back.

Let it go. Apologise to your husband for trying to stir up a hornet's nest and never mention it again.

Pollycat

lovemyinlaws wrote: »

You have got me in tears now

Whilst you're feeling mellow, go and make it up with your husband.

Life's too short to fall out over something that happened over 5 years ago and is not really your concern, especially as your OH seems to be fine about what his brother has done or not done.

maman

lovemyinlaws wrote: »

You have got me in tears now

Have a hug and give one to OH too! ( a hug that is!):)

melanzana

My relationship with my OH would be far more important to me than a bit of jewellery and a few bob.

I can feel your resentment rising from my screen, and that is understandable, I think you resent BIL terribly, but you mustn't let that get in the way of your relationship with OH.

Take a Deep breath, and breathe.... Turn the page, and move on.

It's not worth it IMV. Best of luck love!

moromir

I understand why you're so upset OP.

I have trinkets from a lot of my passed relatives and I'd be devestated if I ever found out other living relatives had tried to deprive me of them.

To be honest I've got some wierd stuff and some of its not to my personal taste but I love having it.

For example my great grandad was a brickie and obviously I never knew him, we've got some of his old tools... I used one for the first time to lay some bricks to do a repair at my first house... it was actually hugely sentimental to me.

I have a ring from my nan which is way too fussy for me (its a row of diamonds all the way round set in gold, a band of exposed rose gold, then another band of diamonds) but I wear it every day because it was hers.

BitterAndTwisted

If it was the OP's own mother's jewellery she might have a case for being angry. But the anger really should be directed at the person who appeared to make promises and then neglected to ensure the jewellery went where they said it would.

I daresay men don't have the same sentimental attachment to what they may see as bits of tat, and very possibly don't see why someone outside the immediate family, when it's really none of their business, is trying to make such a big deal out of it.